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Dec 2012
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Jul 2014
California, U.S.A.
I would like some answers to my questions

Hi I just joined your forum yesterday. The problem I'm trying to resolve involves my only child, my 35 year old daughter.

Here is the background information - I raised her myself since she was six months of age, her mother was emotionally unstable and five years later her mother committed suicide. My daughter got married at 19 years old and had a little girl (my granddaughter). Within a year her husband divorced my daughter. My daughter started raising her daughter alone till she was about 7 years old than she started drinking etc., and from then till now her ex is raising my granddaughter. My daughter came to live with me about 6 years ago. I noticed she's become very upset and very angry. Even though I try to help and provide for her she hates me. I believe my daughter really doesn't like herself and I believe she is probably bipolar, and I believe her mother was bipolar too. My daughter started becoming extremely agitated and violent toward me and my home, so I had no choice but to call the police. Sometime later I found out that the extreme violent episodes were always occurring when she would self medicate with Xanax but instead of helping her through anxiety the Xanax actually were making her act insane and violent. She started yelling at neighbors, the association where I live had their lawyer send me a warning letter about disturbances from my daughter, and they suggested I become her conservator. She got arrested many many times for these violent, insane type of episodes, she spit on the police many many times each time she was charged with assaulting police officers. The police told me she was evil and that I should kick her out. The court would put her in jail and put her on informal probation. Every time she would destroy the house I would call the police and they would always lecture me and say we told you to throw her out she's no good, you're wasting our time and I would
say I told you she's on informal probation and therefore she's lost her search and seizure rights and therefore I am asking you as I always do FOR YOU TO DRUG TEST HER so she can get on a drug diversion program before she OD's.
The police never once would drug test her, and so help me God I believe they did not want my daughter to get the help that drug diversion would have given her because the damn police force holds a vendetta against her because she's spit on them several times. The last episode with her getting arrested was because she hit me on the head with my motorcycle helmet a few times, once again the police arrested her, once again I requested they drug test her and I reminded them she's on informal probation and they can drug test her, once again they didn't drug test her, and the police force tried to charge her with GREAT BODILY INJURY, a very serious crime, I knew for certain than that the police force doesn't want to help my daughter they only want to lock her up for many many years, because they can't get over the fact that she spit on several of them.

Now each time that I was the victim from my daughter's action I would go to court and say my "victim's impact statement" and beg the court to help my daughter get off the drugs by putting her in a drug diversion program, and I would tell the court that she's on informal probation and I would tell the court that at the time of arrest I requested the police drug test her and they NEVER WOULD. This last time the DA and the public defender (a few days after her court trial) got together behind my back without my authorization or knowledge and made a permanent no contact order were I'm the protected person and my daughter's the restrained person. I know that this situation the court has contrived is a miscarriage of justice. Heck my daughter has strong feelings of abandonment from her mother and now the court is basically forcing me to disown my daughter. She has no other family members to help her my mother died 2 years ago and my father is incapacitated due to a bad accident.

Now here's the psychological question my daughter finally since she's been out of jail goes twice a month to a psychiatrist he has her on seroquel, she's living with a boyfriend who gives me pieces of information. I believe there is only a small window of opportunity for her to get diagnosed correctly and put on the correct medication and right dosage, and therefore feel she needs to be seen twice a week not twice a month. I'm worried that if she only goes twice a month she won't see results quick enough and will lose interest in the program and will start self medicating again. I am willing to drive her to appointments more often her boyfriend can't he works full time, but the court has that no contact order hindering the progress, and also confusing her to alienate me. Until she gets on a healthy program she doesn't see my 95 year old father, she doesn't see her 15 year old daughter, she didn't even go to her grandmothers funeral. I feel she needs to agree to get her psychiatrist to write a note on his letterhead to the court in favor of the no contact order being terminated or at least modified so she can progress before her grandfather dies or before her daughter wants nothing to do with her.

Answers would be appreciated