WARNING: SEXUAL Terrible with women

Mar 2020
206
17
US
I have a terrible relationship with women. The make me feel erotic, but I can't get anywhere with them. It's the most uncomfortable thing in the world having them around. I want a wife and kids. Just to get myself satisfied. I don't believe in abortion. My aborted daughter haunted me for 10 years. Haven't had sexual relations for 7 years. She called me a Nazi racist. Masturbate all the time. Only get off to pornography. Pornography makes me angry, but I get off to it. It seems the angrier I get the more satisfied I am. I know testosterone has to do with a mixture of anger and satisfaction. It makes me want to kill my competition. And pornography is basically losing. So pornography is bad and I should never ejaculate.

Women beat me up and want to kill me. I have a female friend right now that does nothing but lure me into death traps. I still talk to her cause I need to talk to a woman. She flirted with me really hard and when I touched her hand she threatened to kill me.

What is life if I can't have a positive relationship with a woman? What is a positive relationship with a woman if there is no marriage, sex and children? Life long tease. Nothing but teasing. Teasing makes me erotic and masturbate to pornography, lose, get angry and want to kill.

I should never talk to anyone. No point in ever doing anything. Think about death all the time. No solution except dying. Oh death is bad? Call police on me? Get locked up. Ruin reputation. Can't make money.

Thank you covid for introducing everyone to me. How do you like it? Can I go now? No? Let's dance. Do this all over again forever. Wish you weren't connected? Lol. Your compassionate fault. Eat it.

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Sep 2020
4
0
Good ol' Earth
I've been where you are. I just barely got out recently. I think you're obviously in need of girls and sex, and I want you to know how deeply I understand that and the ineffable suffering of your situation which has been mine. It's something many people are incapable of sympathizing with, somehow, unlike almost every other struggle I have. I've only felt like people like us can understand.

Anyways, like I said, you obviously need girls. The key is to be practical. Being aware of what you want and having a goal is always good; you know you want a wife and kids. But recognize that that is a long term goal. The question is what will you do today? What do you need before this goal?

It's reasonable to say that simply dating girls, or just having a girlfriend for a while will make sense before thinking about marriage, considering where you are right now. If I were you I would take anything right now, even a totally casual relationship. So how can you do this?

The most valuable, usable, real advice is often cliche and widely known: dress well, be confident, know that you will be rejected a million times before you even get a number, and then the first million numbers you get won't answer the phone, etc. All the simple crap that people say, that's in movies: that stuff is ubiquitous because it's real, it's actually true and it's actually what works. It may be a drag but it works and you should take all of that seriously and not resist it. There is no special trick or hidden knowledge except for those who are already sophisticated in a thing from constant experience (in this case girls and dating), then maaaybe you'll have one little ploy up your sleeve that may or may not make a difference. In terms of just starting and getting things to work, it's all basic bread and butter stuff that we all know like hygiene, being yourself and dealing with fear.


Like I said I recently made it out of your situation and started seeing girls. Here's my experience and what I did:

I'm 28 soon. Up to maybe 26 and a half I pretty much have never had friends and certainly never even held a girl's hand. I have a big fear of rejection and it's still hard to flirt with or ask girls out in person if I stopped doing it for a few weeks. Just to make sure you know, even "normal" boys who've never had a significant girl or sex problem find it hard to start talking to girls again after for example exiting a long relationship (during which they weren't courting girls), so that slump is definitely common even though we probably have it worse ATM.

Anyways, point is courting girls in person is freakin hard, at least for me. My fear was so great that I couldn't do that until after I'd already dated some girls. So how did I get the dates then?

I did online dating, and I only did Tinder. Why Tinder? Tinder is simply the most effective in terms of anything actually happening. Period. Don't waste your time with other interesting or specialized apps or websites. Screw all that, don't mess around. Just use Tinder, it's what works.

Although courtship in person was too hard for me and online dating was my path, it is LESS EFFECTIVE than in person. That is to say it's even more of a numbers game than in-person dating. When I wrote earlier about being rejected a million times and the first million numbers not even picking up, I was really talking about online dating. Lucky to get a match, then lucky if a match says anything, then lucky if etc. BUT I will tell you how to use it, and if you do what I say without stopping or giving up I GUARANTEE you will be with girls. If you stop then for the time you have stopped you are stagnant and will suffer. Start again and don't stop in the first place.

Now I'm telling you how to use Tinder because one needs to know how to use it: I used it for over a year without any success at all, but I was really lucky to move in with a guy that was so, so socially intelligent and experienced with girls and dating, if I didn't meet him I don't know where I'd be right now. But please consider that we both have always lived in Los Angeles, California. I don't know to what extent this advice specifically works where I live.

When you're on a date with a girl, yes, be yourself and don't think too much. When you make a Tinder profile, don't be yourself. I'll tell who you are as a male on Tinder: Just a simple down to earth guy. That's basically your bio. Simple. Nothing specific. No trying to be funny or interesting, no showing your personality, no talk about what you like or don't like. You're just an easygoing guy, let's hang out. Something like that. Make sure your writing is imperfect: do not use perfect grammar and punctuation. I know this may sound dumb, I hated this cause it's not me at all but remember we are trying to get results. So that's your bio.

Now about pictures: you should have a good amount, like six. Better to have a whole lot of them than only a few. I don't know how many pictures you have of yourself or what your social life is like, but the more pictures you have of you with friends and to a lesser extent family the better. Even if you're not friends with them anymore, you don't like them, or they're something other than friends, this is about how you appear. Pictures that suggest you have a social life, that you have friends, that you have family are good. If it's a picture of only you, it is good if someone else took the picture of you, again it's a sign that you're social, that you're not alone.

Also, of course, you should look good. Sure in some pictures you may not have looked your best since you're just out with some friends or it's a candid picture of you doing something you do, or relaxing or whatever, but if you're gonna have someone take a picture of you for Tinder do get a haircut, shave etc., whatever looks good. And by this I don't mean what YOU think looks good or what you prefer. I mean look conventionally good. I personally like having long messy hair and wearing dead plain clothes and Skechers sneakers. I think I look just fine this way. But the truth is I just don't look good to most people like this. You might also try to take a picture taken of you that plays on an attractive feature. For example, I happen to have a strong jawline, so my roommate told me to pose a certain way so he could take a picture that, although a good picture in the first place, allowed this feature to be displayed from the angles we used and the lighting of the room relative to my position. Be real with yourself, ask people you trust to be honest with you, and try to look your best FOR THE HUGE AMOUNT OF RANDOM GIRLS.
 
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Sep 2020
4
0
Good ol' Earth
Last thing about pictures: once again ask people you trust and who would know (someone your age, not your parents or someone raised in another culture or who's very religious etc.) whether a picture is good, which picture is better. What you feel, how you are, even what you're thinking, all this comes through in a picture. Feel good about the pictures you choose, choose pictures those around you feel good about. There are many yous from moment to moment all the minute thoughts and emotions shine and fade, and a picture captures that. You want calm, happy, fun, "normal" yous. Once again, it's all about results. Don't take chances, be calm, approachable, simple, kind etc., don't be quirky or anything in your pics, if you're quirky or interesting or intense, they'll get to see that as they date you. But girls want to feel safe so it's important to just seem normal in your pictures.

There's nothing wrong with being weird, I'm a weirdo, but I'll keep saying it: we want results and if so we want to be as sober about this as possible.

In case you feel like you are being insincere or deceitful (I felt this but that might just be me), remember that in the very initial stages of courtship (seeing a person for the first time, talking to someone for the first time), the only point of this stage is to get through the door, to attract, to seduce, to succeed and yes to this end even deceive. It's true for everyone and even in animals, it's completely normal and you should embrace it. Only slowly as you go on your first date, second date, slowly then each of you will reveal yourselves, incrementally, choosing to continue if you're still liking what you see enough. Do not shy away from straight up attracting someone any way you can at first, you can each assess who you really are later, that's what dating is for. I had pictures of me with friends and family but the truth is I never spend time with family and don't really have any friends, and certainly no social life, even now (working on that still). But I met a girl whose still with me, who likes me and accepts me, and knows all this about me. Would she have matched with me on Tinder if I didn't have those social pictures? Who knows. But my chances were higher and that's just a fact.

And now about Tinder subscriptions and swiping (as in swiping the screen left or right for "liking" or "not liking" someone on Tinder). If you're serious about this and getting girls is important to you, you will be willing to pay money for a subscription. When you use Tinder for free you are limited to 100 swipes per day (I haven't used Tinder in a while, this is how it was when I used it). Pay for the subscription that allows unlimited swiping, you don't need anything more than that.

As a male on Tinder, you have to just swipe right all the time. "Like" every girl, don't even look at them, all day while you do other stuff have your phone in one hand and just swipe right till you forget you're doing it. And I mean that, make it a habit all day every day while you do whatever else you're doing. I know this sounds bad, and don't tell girls you do this (lol), but this is reality. On Tinder, a guy and a girl both need to swipe right on each other to be able to talk, that's called a match. Girls get MANY MANY likes, guys don't. The game is different for each gender on Tinder. Your job as a guy is to like as many girls as possible, the girls' job is to choose who to like back (match), and out of their matches who to even respond to (since there are so many).

Now we come to matches. When swiping we need to swipe as many as possible as fast as possible, so we just can't look at the girl or read their bio. But now that we have matches, we are able to look at these girls' profiles. I don't know about you but I was REALLY desperate not having ever dated or ever having female attention, nevertheless there were still some girls that I was just too repelled by. Don't feel bad about unmatching a girl, even if she's messaging you, because once again when it comes to swiping guys have to just like, there's no picking and choosing. But this is the stage for that; your matches. And girls will be unmatching you as well, for whatever reason you can imagine.

Saying hi to your matches. Of course the first thing we do is say hi. Once again, we're gonna go with a safe, simple thing. A stock greeting that you give every girl. The actual conversation where you talk like a human being will come if she responds; most of the time they won't respond. That's right, you matched with a girl and she never even messaged you. Remember: girls have a million likes and a million matches. A million boys are sending that first "Hi" ""Hey" "What's up?" text to them. Even at this stage they are picking and choosing. So even at this stage you must just send a simple "Hey [girl's name], what's up?" to every new match and then forget about it. But I do suggest using the girl's name; when one sees their name it has an effect, a small one-up on every boy who didn't. This is done in spam emails surely for the same reason. "John, act now and save blah blah blah!"

Conversation and flirting with your matches. Finally we are out of the autopilot zone of mindless swiping and stock greetings. Just be calm. Be yourself. Have fun. Don't take it too seriously. But also maybe experiment a little. You will learn how to text with matched girls who continue talking to you, how to keep them continuing to text with you. Remember, at every stage you must accept that the girl will stop: she didn't match you, she matched but never responded to your hi, she responded to your hi but conversation didn't start, you seem to be having a great conversation and she just stops responding, or unmatches you, etc. And remember there will always be another match, another response, another conversation.

And eventually another number, another date.

Most of this is simple busywork that you should do but then forget about. It's like that up until you're actually having a conversation on chat, cause obviously you want to keep track of the conversations your having with one or more girls and keep them going, and hopefully go further with them on a date and such. Once you get into that groove and don't think about it, that busywork of swiping and greeting will feel like you're doing nothing at all, and for me personally that made every conversation and date seem like I got it easy, like it came from little effort, if you know what I mean. And that's nice. Establish your profile and just get into the groove of doing this.



As far as actual dating, although this may seem like the hardest part, I think the least needs to be said about it. Online dating, Tinder, is weird and complicated. Honestly it's just unnatural lol But dating is not complicated at all. Hard maybe when you're starting out, or starting again, but simple. If you're not good at being social, don't worry. Just don't. Be yourself. There are many girls out there who will date you, like you and be with you, even if they're lost between ten times the amount that won't. Remind yourself it's a numbers game, you gotta just sift through them, the faster the better, don't stop.

Anyways, dating:

1- Be Ready

- be clean
- if you're driving clean your car and have a full tank
-have some idea of what you'll do/where you'll go for the date, but be open to doing whatever seems fun to you guys at the time (improvising, spontaneity)
-smell nice, dress nice, buy new clothes or scents if you think you could look or smell better
-sleep well
-avoid having gas (avoid certain foods, take over the counter gas meds)
-don't eat garlic or onions etc.
-have condoms, carry one or two on you just in case
-etc. etc. etc.

If you're prepared, and if you make an effort, it shows, and it's good. It feels good for both of you, it's just good. I kind of wrote a lot here but it's really just all the basic stuff that I'm sure you know or can think of. You'll surely screw something up the first few times you date, it may or may not lose you a second or third date, that's totally normal and fine. Still do your Tinder stuff, still go on that next date. Do NOT stop.


2- Be Calm

We always say "just be yourself". But for me personally what it comes down to is being calm. That's my limiting factor: once I'm calm I can be myself easily. I don't know what you're like, if it's easy for you to be yourself even if you're calm, but I still think being calm is... all you need in the end. Everything else will come. And of course as you get used to dating being calm will also come by itself (again, do NOT stop going after girls!)


What else can I say? Oh yeah, this: everything I wrote here is useless. Yes that's right. And everything you read and think and say is just as useless.





FOR THIS TO BE USEFUL YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY DO IT. RIGHT NOW. LITERALLY RIGHT NOW. DOWNLOAD TINDER ON YOUR DEVICE. MAKE YOUR PROFILE, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. DO IT.
 
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