Victimhood

Mar 2020
31
5
US
I constantly struggle with victimhood. I feel very vulnerable.

Please ask me questions. I don't know how to explain it. If I were to specify, I would limit the ability to represent myself to you.

How does psychology address feelings of victimhood and defeat in general?

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Feb 2020
13
0
US
Victimhood is much more complicated an issue than dealing with defeat.

I like to say I lead a Charmed life, and for the most part it could be seen that way. I don't get everything I want but when I need something at the worst time things seem to work out in my favor.

I found out in big way last year how it feels to live the other side of the coin. In June 2019 I had serious issues to deal with involving people in authority positions and everything I did for a solid month, or anything that could possible go bad, did so.

I mean everything from my vehicle failing inspection to not being able to find anyone that was the least bit interested in a serious issue involving my rights having been violated. I was the advocate for the rights of my clients for 9 years, so I know mine. But I was the only one that seemed to realize I had rights or cared they had been violated.

To top it off, 3 weeks after the incident in question I developed some health issues that initially looked worse than they ended up being, but serious none the less. So I had that to deal with on top of everything else.

I'm used to winning and losing like that was a new experience that dealt me a devastating blow. I admittedly did not handle it well and had a bad time of it for a couple weeks, but started to come out of it and as I did became more determined than ever not to lose this battle because if I could just find the right person I had it won.

So I got on it. Come to find out a report I had made in July about the incident with what was the proper place to handle it was never entered into the system. I had been told that I would be hearing from them within 30 days. 90 days passed and each time I called they told me it was probably sitting on a Supervisor's desk in a pile to be reviewed in the order received.

In October 2019 I finally got in touch with an Intake Supervisor from that office. He informed me that if it was sitting on anybodies desk it would be his and it was not. That somebody hadn't done their job, so he took a personal interest in my case and hooked me up with someone in my area who found job satisfaction making sure people followed the rules. Oh, Happy Day...

Now my charmed life is back on track and things are going my way again. I'm hesitant to count my chickens before they're hatched, because every egg I'vre had up to this point came up scrambled. I'll be surprised if this doesn't go my way in a Big way, but everything up till now has gone wrong so I'm not ruling that out.


Victimhood has taken on somewhat of a more negative connotation recently and it became popular to play the victim. Which is not what I'm accusing you of at all or even suggesting what's going on.

dictionary.com describes victim as derived from the Latin word victima, meaning sacrificial animal. The only two nouns that apply are:

1. a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency: a victim of an automobile accident.
2. a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency:

Somehow, I believe what you're describing would fall under category 2, although I believe their could be more mitigating circumstances in your situation health wise that through no fault of your own may contribute to your feelings of vulnerability.

Now we need to figure out what those are. What brings on these feelings and what can be done to alleviate them in your case. This is the 4th time I've responded to a post of yours and you replied to my first two here, so I know it's not incompetence on your part.

Defeat in one form or another is a part of life and a learning experience. Some people have a much harder time of it and in learning from their mistakes. Others just are unable to see a way out of the mess they consider themselves to be in and no light at the end of the tunnel. It's always darkest before the dawn.

You said you wanted questions. I hope that gave you enough to work with. I'm a little rusty.