Truly Dealing with Anger, Beyond Behavior Management

Do you also manage your behavior but still feel uncomfortably angry?

  • Yes

  • No

  • I experience rage but don't know what you're talking about.


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Sep 2020
4
0
Good ol' Earth
Not sure if this is the right section for this, please let me know if it isn't.

I have a lot of anger, I always have. All my life I've been very depressed, bouts of it would come for weeks or months at a time. And I also would have fits of rage. As I became less alienated from my emotions (since I very much was), I spent less time depressed and more time enraged. And I do mean rage; violent "uncontrollable" anger, and it was horrible for my family, I was destructive and scary. My sister would shake.

These days I've learned to manage my behavior; I do yoga, exercise, meditate, breathing visualization etc.; I've become aware and take the initiative to keep that crazy adrenal swelling in check so I don't scream, destroy or do any such unacceptable thing. So I have my behavior under control.

But I still suffer the same overflowing anger all the time, inside of me there's still rage and it really sucks. I even feel sick from it.

When I would go crazy, into an actual behavioral rage, this was the only time I felt like I had dealt with the emotion, that the emotion had been expressed and passed through me. Now although I control myself for the sake of others I'm left with this horrible anger and I haven't found another way to get rid of it. I can't even say that I feel raging is the only way; it seems like exactly the expression of what I'm feeling, to call it "the only way" as if there could be another almost seems absurd. So this is my question:

How can one process an overflowing, violent emotion without being overflowing and violent?

To be clear, I'm not talking about dealing with the source of this emotion: that's something I'm working on and it's a separate issue. And it's probably going to take a long time. In the mean time it would be nice to know the answer to this question. Maybe there isn't a way to do this, and the question really is absurd, but I'm asking people and I'm asking you.

Thank you
 
Mar 2020
206
17
US
I had severe anger which motivated me to accomplish normal things. Anger at a certain type of person who I wanted to not be like, which is useful motivation, but it got out of control.

You're right to say it's adrenaline, and probably a mixture of that and dopamine.

Try taking suppliments like copper or tryptophan and avoiding potassium and magnesium. Avoid smoking tobacco or pot. They increase dopamine.

Anger is a combination of adrenaline and dopamine IMO. I'm not a professional but I've spent a year studying it independently.

Try loving your mother. Mothers are easy to love. If you are suffering extreme fits it wouldn't hurt to become just a little bit of a mamas boy until you have it under control. Take her advice.

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