I don't know how I'm gonna get over this trauma… … I was ok in presen (my second school). Finally. I wasn't being bullied anymore. I had friends. I still hadn't had any problems with my family. … I want to recover that level of well-being. Even if it seems impossible with all the changes in my life. … I used to be me. In the present. With my feelings. My personality. My relationships. I was always me. That naivety. That curiosity. My way of seeing and understanding the world. Being in the present. Without this crushing anxiety. Without… being this. I want to be me again. I know I would have evolved and changed with time. The Blanca (me) from presen wouldn't have been the same Blanca from university even if I hadn't gotten bullied again. Because I would have evolved. Because I wasn't the same with 7 or 8 or 10 or 13 or 15 years. But I was me all the time. I remember in presen seeing a story of a woman that died and went to heaven. She was asked: who are you? And she started saying: I'm *name*'s wife. I'm *name*'s mother. I'm a lawyer… And she was told: "yes, but, who are you?" She could understand. I couldn't either. … I would have evolved with time. I wouldn't be presen's Blanca now. But, I would be me. With my experiences. With my daily life. With my relationships. With my memories. I would have just… lived. That's it. … I know I'll never fully recover.