The Psychology behind a Handshake

Feb 2020
That was interesting. However, I see a problem with it in my daily life.

The article states one of the things that happens the moment we shake hands is "Trust is immediately established between the those persons at a subconscious level."

It goes on to state about Oxytocin:

"Briefly, Oxytocin a hormone and neuropeptide produced in the hypothalamus and released by the posterior pituitary.

It plays a role in social bonding. Oxtocin tells us it is safe to trust. It is like social glue, encouraging us to interact , brings about empathy and makes us want to get more into the other person."

I'm no longer in the business field and people just don't shake hands automatically when they meet. When I was working it wasn't something to be expected as the norm in every case.

Trust is something earned, not given away. People are sized up by observation when they meet. Some more quickly than others and you can't judge a book by its cover. It's verbal and non-verbal clues that are used, and I always go with my gut feeling.

I feel more at risk of someone my own race trying to pull a fast one on me than someone of a different ethnic background. My reasoning being in most cases someone of my own race would be less afraid to try something with me. I'm friends with people who call me "Crazy White Boy" to my face with no insult intended or taken. It's Muy Loco to others.

A couple months ago I was doing laundry about 3am. I came downstairs to move my clothes to the dryer and there was a young guy in the lobby using the hotspot I had never seen before. I started outside, stopped short of the door to get out a cigar and the guy walked past me and started down the sidewalk toward the street.

I walked out behind him and stepped to the side smoking area where there was another young guy I had never seen, and the other guy walks back from the street and joins him. Both of my race in their late 20's or early 30's by my estimate and half my age.

I don't know what they had planned, but I already had one. I lit my cigar, put on my leather gloves and stood there looking at them waiting for their cue. They looked at me and both sat down on a bench, which made it alright for me to sit down and still maintain my distance. No words were exchanged and after a few minutes they headed off down the alley on their way. I still had laundry to do and an hour to wait for my clothes to dry.

If they had tried to approach me it wouldn't have been to shake hands and once they got within arms reach my plan would have went into effect.