Study of oneself. Anger

SRT

Oct 2020
2
0
Australia
Many topics I would like to discuss. Motivation for beginning this today has come from a recurring problem in my life which is anger.

Most days are good and I can quickly pull myself out of a negative spiral. My intuition usually reminds me before a situation arises. However there are times when this doesn't work. Today has been one of those.

This I will discuss further. Due to an extremely busy life and needing to sleep soon I will keep this initial post short.

My community where I have grown up is in a beautiful mountain environment. Within me is a strong connection to nature and it's beauty. As time has gone on many people have arrived and the population has tripled since I was a child. There is no resentment but sometimes sadness with destruction of flora and fauna.

Today when leaving work (I work locally) the driver in front of me drove onto the other side of the road to intentionally hit a duck. Luckily the duck narrowly avoided being hit. Instantly I was volatile. I accelerated, overtook and blocked the person's travel. Jumping out of my car I approached the driver. It was a man in his 70's. I am in my 40's, very fit and intimidating if I need to be. If this person was more my match I have little doubt I would have wanted to become physical. I mouthed off at the individual briefly. His response was that he had missed the duck. After a short spat I returned to my car and drove off.

Most times I am angry I regret this. It is poison for the soul and mind. Today however has put me in a conundrum. If the driver had been a male my age and returned any response I didn't like, the situation would have been far more serious. Quite possibly jail. This I would like to discuss further another time.

The problem I am grappling with is I don't think my reaction would be different if I was presented with this again in the future. I love animals. Am I anti-social? My feeling is some people the world would be better without. Most times I lose my temper I can think of many better ways I could have handled it. Today I can't. What if he had killed that animal? Because of his seniority I still would have not been physical but either way I can't seem to let it go. This is most likely due to not having a better solution in this particular scenario. I'm not a person (and think most people would be) that can turn a blind eye to animal cruelty. However anger is never a solution either.

Tomorrow morning I will discuss with my instructor. Try to zen my way through this problem :) I practice Martial arts which settles me and keeps me healthy. Being angry is extremely bad for me and frowned upon in my circle of people.

Looking at discussions within this forum has sparked great interest in me and I would like to bring some other topics to the table in future.

Advice, suggestions or analysis will be much appreciated.
 
Mar 2020
203
17
US
It wouldn't be the action as much as the type of person that would unsettle me. I have a tendacy for wanting control and wanting to be around like minded people. I am a very lonely man, and I miss highschool at age 32. I grew up isolated in a family. I had a handful of pleasant social experiences that I was a prick through, and I regret my early age anger, anger at happiness itself.

Ive been to jail, and I was able to get used to the actual experience, but it kills your ability to work. Why hire the guy with a misdemeanor, if you can hire the guy without a misdemeanor?

I've had distain for people and animals. I often feel the urge to hit bikers and pedestrians. I can say that I understand the man trying to hit the duck. However if I saw the man trying to hit the duck, I would think, "jerk" but I would kind of laugh.

That dumb duck could have ruined your life.
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Anger in general is one of four possible human emotions. Except anger and fear (the only two energy producing emotions) are demonized by everyone. Depression is valued by some and happiness is valued by some, but they are both energy depleating emotions.

I find anger useful when I'm forcing myself to do something, such as work when I'm tired, but my co-workers have complained that they don't feel safe around me, and I've been fired once over it.

I also draw energy from metal music.

I grew up swordfighting in the back yard with my brother. He doesn't talk to me anymore. But the motion of swordfighting I would argue has shaped my cognition and kept me calm in my anger.

Try smiling when you are angry and think of suppressed anger as a joke. Anger can be really funny.

The key to controling anger is to believe that you are winning or in control. It is when we feel like we are losing or trapped that we decide to "fight to the death."

Perhaps you can visualize a winning fight in you mind and get creative, maybe play war strategy games and use larger forces to take smaller ones or learn how to defeat equal forces. This has been an invaluable passtime my whole life. The strategy from the games makes me apply strategy to real life. I have tact and angles of approach when I am in real life situations.

Think strategy, tact, and angle of approach. This might help you alot.

Most of the time the proper angle of approach is about 10 degrees. Not 90 degrees.

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SRT

Oct 2020
2
0
Australia
Some interesting things there. Thank you.

I think channelling anger into positive avenues is very valuable. You could say the emotion (fear as well) necessitate change. "Energy producing emotions" very true.

Your comment about laughing at anger is interesting. An art I study is kyokushin and their is one saying I particularly like "Anger is ignorance, laughter is wisdom, tears will edify". Putting these things into practice is not always so easy. That's part of being human I guess.

Strategy games are the only ones I have ever enjoyed. Another interesting point. These days I can hardly keep up with my book work though. My organiser always has things in the red, I just try to keep it down as much as possible. I'm self employed in construction and rarely have time off. This creates stress which can contribute to my temperament. When you say : think of strategy, tact and angle of approach, this is true and I will consider this for a while.

Thank you for your reply. Will be back soon