Sociopath or Narcissist?

Oct 2021
1
1
Ohio
I know this may sound biased but I think my ex is either a socio/psychopath or a covert narcissist. She would be real charming to people when you first meet her but once you spend enough time with her, you see how she always had to have her way. Once she realizes people are catching on to this, she drops the charm and will be argumentative and eventually cut ties. Her father is the same way. He even helped her divorce me after telling people he wanted to see us save the marriage.
What is their deal?
 
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Jul 2021
420
51
London
I know this may sound biased but I think my ex is either a socio/psychopath or a covert narcissist. She would be real charming to people when you first meet her but once you spend enough time with her, you see how she always had to have her way. Once she realizes people are catching on to this, she drops the charm and will be argumentative and eventually cut ties. Her father is the same way. He even helped her divorce me after telling people he wanted to see us save the marriage.
What is their deal?
Charm is very exclusive to psychopathy, but are you sure she was charming?

Psychopathy is very difficult to recognise, I can after years of experience, but overall I think the feeling you get when you come across one is doubt yourself as they really make you feel like you are an idiot. And I had an experience a few moments ago with someone like that, and generally I avoid, ignore whatever, if they don't cause trouble, but yes, as a HSP I really struggle around them, but I see other people such as autistic find them lovable and pleasant, for me it is not pleasant, even if they are not doing anything to me, I do feel alarmed, if you get what I mean, but yes, autistic-histrionic always criticise me and say "then you shouldn't speak with anyone because of that", and it is true, I don't talk to anyone anymore LOL and that could be trauma, but I have never been wrong about anyone before, still I have never ruined anyone, even if I did defend myself when picked on by psychopaths and didn't end well for them, I can only say I am not particularly fond of them, because of their actions, as I do think they are an hindrance to human growth, and they refuse to get better. But yes, one physiological hint to psychopathy is the white of the eye (called sclera) which is visible below your pupil, normal people don't have that and this was discovered by a Japanese researcher. However, some autistic have been found to have these features, as well as people suffering from thyroid problems although in their case the hormonal imbalance causes their eyes to pop out and thus you'll be seeing the whites up and down, but yes, it is true that most psychopaths do have the white sclera visible underneath their pupil, which simply highlights a psychological or neurological problem, in general, but yes, I do freak out when I see someone with that now, and I feel uncomfortable, but generally I look for hints such as disrespect in the form of criticism etc., it's weird from someone Idk very well or at all for example and so that is a red flag.

Lots of material to be read on psychopathy, I particularly love Hare, and I think he does deserve the Nobel, because you can imagine the kind of contribution he has provided to humanity, and I would have wanted him to get it this year as he is old, but it's very helpful. He does deserve it, more in my view, I mean I am sure the two guys who got it deserved it too, but he deserved it more this year, because he really contributed a lot to society and helped many survivors to psychopaths by explaining that psychopathy does exist. And he is a psychiatrist, psychiatry is medicine too, and so he could get that.

From experience people who like them, lack some knowledge not much in psychology but in other things. Like, I don't like someone who talks in certain ways to me, and puts me down, because I mean, "you are not better than me", we are all at least equal, and I have worked so hard in life, disrespectful people that act that kind of prejudicial towards me then it is because of my gender, etc., and I feel uncomfortable around them as some women genius exist too (Marie Curie was a genius and she was a female) so it's stupid to be that close-minded. And you always get the background commentary of the autistic-histrionic saying "well, he treated me well", yes, but he treats your daughter not that well, so isn't there a gender gap. I don't even say anything to my parents, because my parents are suggestible and they wouldn't know how to deal with things I say so I understand it must be hard but you might not be highly sensitive so you probably could care less about how they talk too. I just find it weird that autistic admire the psychopath, when they get things done for them, and others refuse too, but there may be levels to psychopathy too, in fact the person who used to get things done was another guy, whereas the psychopath is a new worker, so I think autistic even forgets who he has been dealing with in the past.

In reality, I know they are the idiots, so I compensate emotionally with that, and that makes me stay away, in fact, if you weren't an idiot to begin with, you wouldn't be a psychopath to begin with, is just that the definition, but maybe those who get attached are actually emotionally "weak" in a way, like codependent to the opinion of the psychopath and to please, but I think when it comes to values it's hard to please, you can still affirm your values assertively and diplomatically, but it doesn't mean you should bend them to please.

The other thing as a HSP that triggers me is the way they try to pull one over you, as if you are really dumb and they so clever, which really triggers my "b" side, in the sense that I then have to refrain from exposing them publicly, because I don't like those who want to take advantage of me or others, as again we are all equal intellectual, and as a matter of fact the psychopath is dumb, but people are just polite to them to please in fact, and that doesn't mean they should cause trouble or that you don't know what they are up to either. They are just being inclusive and kind, but they must be kind back, so yes, I don't like those who are that way.

I just don't get why anyone would agree with the psychopath's views that are wrong, about women, about disability, lots of disabled geniuses too, such as Stephen Hawking, or based on their age, or whatever. I can't really tolerate someone that dishonest. It is dishonest to say it is impossible for someone to be smart based on these traits, it can happen that some are not smart, true, but it can also happen that one is very very smart, so it is prejudicial, and that is why I really really struggle with psychopaths unlike autistic and other people who get along, like yourself.
 
Last edited:
Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
Sounds to me like you were able to escape a bad situation all the way around. Put the relationship behind you and start a new life...
Good luck to you,
Ivery
 
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Nov 2021
6
0
Europe
Sounds like narcissism. There's nothing in that rather generic description that seems to point specifically to psychopathy. Narcissism is A LOT more common, so...
 
Nov 2021
19
0
Location Land
This usedandabused bitch is a retard who doesn't know the first thing about ASPD and NPD. In another thread she:

1: claimed that people with ASPD don't feel pain
2: admitted she condones beating children who show signs of ASPD
3: asserted that anti-socials are inherently "retarded" and conflated intelligence and morality as being synonymous.

This cunt has an obsession and hatred for ASPD to the point that she says things that would universally be recognized as pseudoscientific hate speech if it was said about any other disorder.