Singular Obsessive Thoughts in Older Alcoholic

Aug 2021
1
1
New York City
My father is 75, a lifelong alcoholic, and has had multiple sclerosis for 10 years. That said, his mind is and has always been sharp, and he has never been treated for mental health concerns. As a note, his mother was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.

One month ago my father began obsessing about something that occurred in 1964. He and my mom have been married since 1968. Shortly after they started dating, my mom went to the beach and kissed another guy. She told my dad and asked for forgiveness. They married 4 years later when she was 21 and my dad
was 23 and I had never heard this story - it just didn’t come up. Now, 57 years later, he cannot stop thinking and talking about it. He brings it up in subtle ways (mentioning the name of the beach, or talking about girls they used to know when he was a teen that wanted to date him but he stayed committed to my mom), and not subtle ways (he repeatedly says he can’t trust my mom because she won’t remember this boys name, and asks for a divorce multiple times a day). My mom is exhausted. She cares for my father 24/7, cooking all his meals, bringing him whatever he needs, helping him shower - all while she is on oxygen due to COPD. She refuses to bring in help. Yet despite this he is on her constantly about this kiss. We have all asked him to please stop, but he doesn’t seem to be able to. He broods about it constantly. This is all very out of character.

I think it is wet brain or a form of psychosis but this is the only symptom I can identify. We are trying desperately to get him into a psychiatrist but have called over 30 who are all not taking new patients right now. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
 
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Aug 2021
56
34
Austin, TX
If you can not get him an appointment with a psychiatrist you may consider taking him to his regular MD for a checkup to see if there may be a physiological issue going on, could be a chemical imbalance or something along those lines...obsessive thought processes are difficult to overcome without professional help, and your mother may need help as well. As our parents age and roles reverse making us their primary care takers it is sometimes difficult to accept the new roles. You are going to have to step up now and make this happen. Talk to your mother, assure her that although things may be changing, you still support her, that your father just is not himself right now. Any falls, or other physical trauma may contribute as well, but until you get professional help, you may just have to put up with shenanigans...
Best wishes to you and your parents,
Ivery
 
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