Should I fire this Psychologist?

Sep 2021
2
2
USA
First I apologize if this is the wrong category.
I am stressed with dealing with toxic parents so I decided to speak with a Psychologist. I searched my insurance and picked one. I called the number listed and it was his own voice in the voice mail asking to leave a message (no office staff!). He then called me back after few days, and scheduled a video call appointment as he is not doing a personal appointments. I asked him if he needs my insurance info but he said his assistant would call.
First appointment went average I guess, couple of questions about what do I expect, and my childhood..etc, he asked about my marriage but I confirmed him I am happily married, however he asked me to bring my wife to our next virtual meeting!
Meeting #2 after a week, wife is here, he then went for a lecture on (communicating) without asking her a relevant question. And that was it! We both explained to him how our marriage is successful and how we maintain that in which he was surprised and expressed it is rare. But that was the session! We hanged up and we didn’t even know why he wanted my wife for other than lecturing us on communication which was obviously something we didn’t ask for!
Session #3 He asked what are we going to talk about today? It was kind of surprising question to me, as I thought he would ask questions or lay out a plan, and when I showed confusion he went with a mini lecture on how important is the trust towards him, otherwise this can’t work. So I started ranted about my parents, and the session was 20 mins only when he ended it. He didn’t comment much or gave me any clue on where I am or how will I accomplish those goals I previously told him.
Now I am wondering, is that all a normal part of the process of counseling specially it was 3 sessions? Or I just fire this guy? I really don’t feel good regarding seeing him again.
 
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Reactions: Usedandabused
Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
If this person is not meeting your needs find another one who can get you the help you need. You are not helping yourself continue counseling with someone who is not helping you make progress...
Good luck to you,
Ivery
 
Sep 2021
2
2
USA
If this person is not meeting your needs find another one who can get you the help you need. You are not helping yourself continue counseling with someone who is not helping you make progress...
Good luck to you,
Ivery
Thanks, but i mean after only 3 sessions, is it enough to say he is not helping me? Or should I wait for at least x amount of sessions before judging?
 
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Reactions: Usedandabused
Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
Sometimes you have to trust your trust your instincts. If you are questioning your choice after only three sessions, then yes, it would not be unusual to seek another healthcare provider after only three sessions. Be aware, though, that the first six sessions or so will need to be "getting to know you" sessions, where the counselor can explore all areas of your life, (including your marital relationships)even those you may not perceive as needing attention. Your relationship with your parents may have been the model from which your other interpersonal relationships are based...Once again, I offer you the best of luck,
Ivery
 
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Reactions: Lagflag
Jul 2021
420
51
London
First I apologize if this is the wrong category.
I am stressed with dealing with toxic parents so I decided to speak with a Psychologist. I searched my insurance and picked one. I called the number listed and it was his own voice in the voice mail asking to leave a message (no office staff!). He then called me back after few days, and scheduled a video call appointment as he is not doing a personal appointments. I asked him if he needs my insurance info but he said his assistant would call.
First appointment went average I guess, couple of questions about what do I expect, and my childhood..etc, he asked about my marriage but I confirmed him I am happily married, however he asked me to bring my wife to our next virtual meeting!
Meeting #2 after a week, wife is here, he then went for a lecture on (communicating) without asking her a relevant question. And that was it! We both explained to him how our marriage is successful and how we maintain that in which he was surprised and expressed it is rare. But that was the session! We hanged up and we didn’t even know why he wanted my wife for other than lecturing us on communication which was obviously something we didn’t ask for!
Session #3 He asked what are we going to talk about today? It was kind of surprising question to me, as I thought he would ask questions or lay out a plan, and when I showed confusion he went with a mini lecture on how important is the trust towards him, otherwise this can’t work. So I started ranted about my parents, and the session was 20 mins only when he ended it. He didn’t comment much or gave me any clue on where I am or how will I accomplish those goals I previously told him.
Now I am wondering, is that all a normal part of the process of counseling specially it was 3 sessions? Or I just fire this guy? I really don’t feel good regarding seeing him again.
I wouldn't know, I had the same feeling the first 5 sessions and then she healed me, but I think it is normal to feel bad after the sessions... tbh. It is by the end of it that you are supposed to feel good, not during. Therapy is not easy, as isn't taking medications for cancer, they also last one year, and they cause lots of pain, but the end result is good. In my case, she couldn't detect the high sensitivity, only could see the depression from the traumas, but she did all the tests prior, and that would hurt me a lot as I'd feel misunderstood, in reality she was just doing all the assessments and she did them all in the first 4 sessions, and at the same time would touch traumas some half hour of the sessions, and then change subject when it would evoke a response. When she found out about the high sensitivity she simply described the traits, but didn't go much in depth, but then I did feel understood. During the sessions I'd feel bad however, and I'd feel bad for 2 weeks after it, in terms of sadness etc., but after a few months I did notice I was less depressed, however the doctor told me "you are not depressed anymore" is what set me free in the end, and that was my MD rather than the psychologist, the psychologist said "You don't need me anymore", lol, but that wasn't as powerful as "you are not depressed anymore", but the results were there already by the time I had finished the therapy. I think because HSP was rare back then, it was really hard, as example I had to explain myself a lot, and HSPs don't normally explain themselves a lot, particularly when they are extroverted like I am! I don't like to respond to certain questions and when someone doesn't understand me I feel like they don't want to, so I don't bother, but that is not always the case, maybe who knows. So yes, objectivity always first.
 
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