Should children see or hear their parents having sex?

Feb 2011
1,196
1
USA
Both your questions answers depends on the culture in which your asking; and the practices and consenus of said cultures. ( In our culture some may say'"Shame on you for asking." lol :eek:
 
Dec 2008
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nil
Wasn't that the norm in Germany at some point? Anyway, here in America we have a tradition of demonizing sex and nudity as wrong and immoral. Because of this lifelong conditioning, it would probably be a traumatic event for a child to witness daddy plow mom. However, if the child were from a culture with a much less puritan attitude, I don't think it would be that big of a deal one way or the other.
 
Nov 2008
2,536
0
U.S.A.
Before modern times many families slept in the same bed. Or would bath in the same bath tub or body of water at different times. Windows didn't have screens and people could look into each others houses. Before Christian missionaries spread their ideals around the world. Monogomy was a unknown concept to many cultures. Fathers and mothers having sex with their children was considered a way of educationg them about how it worked. Also animals and livestock where all around and children would see them doing it and giving birth. It was just with the advent of modern homes and ideals that changed the perception of right and wrong.

As a child when the pill became avalible. My parants would "take a nap" a lot. They would tell us not to bother them. At first I/we didn't realize what they were doing, but after a while I/we (my brothers) realized they were "doing it". I saw my parants having sex several times. I knew what they were doing. They thought I was in bed and they didn't know I saw them. It didn't bother me, but it might have been different if I was sitting in the living room and they started doing it on the couch while I was watching TV?

It would come down to intent and what is culturally acceptable.
 
Feb 2009
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Why are people saying it depends on the culture? Psychological effect on a young human being should be the same anywhere in the world, shouldn't it?
 
Feb 2011
1,196
1
USA
NO; we evaluate what we perceive. Your saying if someone experiences burn-out on the job, everyone should, yet we know many people like the job that some says causes them burn-out.
Obviously it's not the job the causal factor but what they 'think' about it, how they evaluate it.
My "mission" ;) here has been to point out we don't recognize what we do with language/thought when BELIEVED.
 

SWM

May 2008
2,314
0
[quote author=RisingSun link=topic=2430.msg17654#msg17654 date=1323627700]
Why are people saying it depends on the culture? [/quote]because our culture defines what is acceptable behavior. if we are raised in a culture were cannibalism is normal we would not be distressed by watching someone eat another human. if a young child from our culture how has probable never even seen an animal being killed and whose meat is served in a shape not much different to a biscuit, was to watch another human being killed, spit roasted and carved up for the evening meal then that child may have some psychological trauma and diffciulty reconciling the conflicting perspectives.



Psychological effect on a young human being should be the same anywhere in the world, shouldn't it?
how the child is conditioned to respond will determine the response, it is the culture which conditions the child.
 
Nov 2008
2,536
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U.S.A.
Note: I do not advocate sex with children or anything of that nature. I was speaking from a historical perspective. If the action is considered the "norm" in the society then no undue stress should result from the experience. If the action is out of the accepted or expected range of what is considered normal it could result in stress. Even today nudity and sexual relations in some cultures are much more liberal than in western society. In these cultures because it is the normal practice it is debatable as to how much negative concequences occur if any at all.
 
Dec 2011
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0
Personally, I was traumatized when I heard my parents having sex. It's one of those things that you *know* goes on, but you'd prefer not to have to listen to I think. Just like when my boyfriend comes over and we have sex...it's not something I'd like my parents to hear, although I'm sure sometimes they have. Anyway, I don't think it should be encouraged (children seeing or hearing their parents having sex), but if it happens, and the child/children ask about it, I don't think the parents should avoid speaking to the kids about what they saw/heard. Sex is natural and enjoyable and I think that kids are going to learn about it anyway, so if they ask then perhaps it is a good time to inject some sex education in there ;)
 
Nov 2008
2,536
0
U.S.A.
Yes age appropriate education is a good plan. I have known of several girls who became pregnant because they didn't know enough to realize they were having sex. I also know of one boy who was suduced by a friend of his sister. She wanted a baby and got him to do it. He had a learning disability and was very immature. His parants hadn't told him because they thought he wouldn't understand. She told him it was a game. He ended up having to pay child support and dropping out of school. He didn't understand why he had to work and then give his check to the girl he barely new. It took a long time before he could comprehend he was a father. Then he ended up hateing the mother and the kid for ruining his life.