Self belief but no confidence to deliver

Jul 2020
I'm a guy in my 40s who is full of self belief. I always have been. In addition, throughout my life I've experienced countless situations that justifies that belief. I've delivered upon it time and time again.

Yet whenever I'm facing a new situation or challenge or experience I'm frozen with fear? Self-doubt? A lack of confidence? .. and I don't act or deliver.

It almost seems like I have to get forced into a situation and have that self-belief challenged before I can act .. "I'll show 'em!!" .. Then I ultimately deliver, I go on to win or to succeed .. whatever word you want to use. Until the next time. And then I'm frozen with fear / doubt once more.

It doesn't make sense to me. I have this belief, I have years of "evidence" that justifies that belief yet don't have the confidence when I need to deliver upon that belief.

It's almost a "cometh the hour" type of thing .. When backed into a corner and I NEED to act all that belief comes pouring out of me and I deliver. Time and time again, I deliver. The self-belief is justified.

But I can't just chose to act, to draw upon those times that have gone before, and I end up being frozen with doubt / fear instead.

Anybody have any ideas on what's going on?
Mar 2020
I have a slightly different problem. I never do anything unless I'm upset.

I'm really good at negating threats, so good that I have to attribute it to God. I eliminate threats really fast and when I'm not busy eliminating threats I don't even get out of bed.

That's why I'm worried about socialism.

I receive ssa and section 8 and I don't technically have to do anything for the rest of my life.

My girlfriend is the only thing that makes me ever do anything.

She says she needs me to get a better job and build capital for our future family.

Only problem is she lives far away and it's going to take some vision and willingness to actually make this work.

I end up kicking myself in the ass, thinking things like "you're not a man if you don't have a family" or other insufficiency concepts.

My dad, my psychologists, and my 70 year old boss tell me to cut that out.

Why do anything if you don't go to hell for not doing it?

I think that's why politics and culture competitions exist. They're not supposed to try to eliminate each other but they've got to appear to be threatening in order to get people off their asses and fight.

Why get out of the great depression if Hitler and Yamamoto weren't going to take over?

I think WWII was a global conspiracy theory. Who really cares if we're German or Japanese?

Well probably see political tensions in China and Africa. People will die over it. But the sun doesn't rise if we don't cut the hearts out of slaves on Aztec temples.

Truth is the world is so inherently perfect that we really can all just return to hunting and gathering. But now there's 7 billion people and not enough wildlife for all of us.

So we go to farming and genetic engineering until the land runs out.

So we do have to kill or sterilize each other.

Nobody wants to kill so we're trying to figure out whats going to work. I'm not sure we know yet.

Go ahead and relax.

Maybe motivate yourself by doing things for others.

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