Relative in a toxic relationship. What to do?

Jul 2020
2
0
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Hello. A relative of me, male,is in a toxic relationship with a woman much younger. She doesn´t allow him to go out alone with friends, or members of his family. She has created discord between him and his brother because his brother is constantly warning him about the woman´s destructive behaviour, while, before the relationships begun, the brothers were friends and were always united and went out for a drink very frequently. She is jealous and possesive without job or incomes and is pressuring him to move in with her, and he is very anxious because he doesn´t want. Some time ago they broke up due to her quarrels and pressures, and friends, family, and a psychologist told him not to speak anymore with her but they are together again.

What it is your opinion, and your advice about this situation?

Thanks
 
Mar 2020
193
15
US
Not a clinician.

Sounds like the older guy just doesnt know what he wants. The younger woman plays him. The younger want wants him to live with her without marriage and pay her bills. Sounds typical and smart. The psychologist would only have been able to "tell" the man to leave her alone if the man himself was questioned in a way that leaving her alone was what he actually wanted to do. The woman's approach sounds very cute, honestly. But personally I believe without a marriage level commitment it actually would be a serious problem for him to start paying her bills. If he ever left her without making the commitment to her the mess would be worse after they had lived together. There would be no legal document of the economic relationship to protect the man. If the man wants to marry her he should propose to her to see if she is serious about him or just using him.

It's ultimately that man's decision. The idea about the brothers being separated is not a problem. Brothers naturally separate when a woman comes into the picture no matter what. Because the brothers respect each other's relationships with their women. IMO.

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Aug 2020
2
0
Malaysia
Please tell your cousin to enjoy living like a prisoner like that. Enjoy being controlled by his girlfriend. It’s just a matter of time for him to realise that he has wasted his precious time, money and energy for something that he should’ve ended years before. Too bad he chose to continue living like that when he could’ve be very happy living a single life right now while searching for the right one that has mutual understanding. Poor thing.


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