Relationship Help

[largehairydog]

Firstly hello and pols if I've stuck this in the wrong place!

My partner and I have not been getting on great for a while so I've been thinking a lot about our behaviours. Yesterday it suddenly dawned on me that since our relationship began, whenever I suggest things to do, or places to go, or options for food, my partner will say never ever say 'oh yes' or 'thats a good idea' or 'I'd rather do this' etc. Instead, she will always answer with a question along the lines of 'would you like to?' Or, 'if you want to', or 'we can if you like'. There's never ever any affirmation or positivity or even decisiveness. She also cannot stand making (or perhaps owning?) any kind of decision, could this be a responsibility thing? I'm clutching at straws here so if any of you kind clever people could give me a hint, it would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks

Ed

 

[IveryKeys]

Many people are so afraid of failing or being wrong that they have trouble making decisions. It is a type of paralysis which absolves them of all responsibility, because then if things go wrong they can not be held accountable. Of course if things go right, they do not get to celebrate either, but the fear of failure eliminates that possibility. Have you talked to her about this? If you have, and do not seem to be getting anywhere consider going to a third party counselor for help. Your relationship may not work out anyway, but if you want to continue investing in it, please consider getting outside help from a source you can both agree upon.
Good luck to you both,
Ivery

 

[largehairydog]

Thank you Ivery, that's very helpful