Questioning if I understand the consequences of my actions

06f

Apr 2022
22
5
California
As a person with Autism Spectrum Disorder, I am afraid that I could commit petty sexual crime without mens rea, because I don't understand some body languages very well, specifically body languages that are supposed to be simple to understand, and I don't understand mixed messages very well, even though it's obvious.

I get scared that I can't agree or disagree if I am being inappropriate, even when my friends say that I am a good friend to them.

I know that studies say that people with Autism Spectrum Disorder are more likely to be victims than being perpetrators, but the problem is crime is a very broad term, and you need social skills to follow specific laws. Lacking social skills can highten the risk for petty criminal behavior, specifically related to invading boundaries.

I sometimes become violent and very stressed when I am in a completely different environment, and at the moment, I don't feel safe, but to others, I am seen as a criminal. It's embarrassing!
 
Aug 2021
370
181
Texas, USA
Believe it or not, I sometimes have the same problems! Although I am not on the spectrum, I have trouble understanding personal boundaries, and what is acceptable in any given culture. For instance, my more traveled friends may kiss me on the cheek as a greeting, while my more domestic friends would regard that as a violation of personal space. I have learned to adopt a principle of wait and see, as in wait and see if someone is going to kiss me on the cheek, at which time I am allowed to reciprocate, instead of taking the initiative. Touching is another thing I do not understand, when is someone allowed to violate my personal space and touch me, compared to when I am allowed to touch them...There does not seem to be a consistency across all situations. So, I wait and see what happens, then react to the other person, rather than being the initiator.
Now, considering your violent behavior and stress, is there anything in particular that seems to trigger your violent behavior? You mentions stress, but I am guessing the core issue may be anger. Generally, anger is the result of unfulfilled expectations. We think something will happen in a certain way, that we will be treated in a certain way, and when that does not happen we become angry. Most of our unfulfilled expectations are the result of unrealistic expectations, for instance thinking someone will like you because you give them things or say nice things to them. These may or may not influence someone to like you or be kind to you. Try to set realistic expectations for your life and then you are more likely to not be frustrated with unfulfilled expectations...
And now, your stress...stress is often self induced, and generally feeds upon itself. For instance, if you are afraid of speaking in public, you may avoid speaking in public by avoiding going out in public! This may lead to a downward spiral in which you become afraid of leaving your home. The remedy is to begin to confront your stress, realizing that your fears are unfounded, and begin reversing the process by going out one day and not speaking to someone, then a casual hello a few days later, than discussing the nice day with a neighbor, and continuing to expand until you have gotten over your fear of speaking in public.
I know this sounds like a log, and would recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy for a self help solution, perhaps beginning with something like Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Dummies, found at your library or used.
Best of luck to you, and let us know how you are doing,
Ivery
 

06f

Apr 2022
22
5
California
Thank you!

I do empathize that not everyone that has history of communication delay has ASD, there is such thing as Communication Disorders. Although, communication delays is a core symptom of ASD, but it doesn't have to be ASD.

There is also Broad Autism Phenotype that you are experiencing as well.