Problem with slurs?

Jun 2020
Hello Psychology Forum

I am a new user, and I just really feel the need to discuss a phenomenon that has been recently occurring in my life. In the previous few months, every time I partake in a social interaction or communicate online/through text with other people, I have been terrified that I have used slurs throughout my conversation (talking, texts, posts, or even homework assignments), such as the n-word and others. Ordinarily I think these are horrible words that are unacceptable in any context.

Although, to my knowledge, I have never actually said any such things, this makes me feel as if I cannot comfortably carry out a conversation with anybody, or even fill out forms online and such. When I go back and look at posts and assignments I submit, I have never actually found myself saying such slurs (at least according to my parents), but keep playing out the consequences in my head (such as not getting any jobs in the future, social ostracism, and so on) and have anxiety attacks. I always end up feeling like a really horrible person in the end, such as being a racist. This occurs at least once a day, and has gotten to the point where I constantly check my internet history, text messages, and so forth.

This has intensified in recent events, such as the use of Zoom due to quarantine and protests over the murder of George Floyd. I really need help with this. I need to move forward in my life and gain confidence in myself.
Mar 2020
There are two modes of being that date back to ancient Greek philosophy.

Dionisese, the slob and Apollo, the tea party man.

The funny thing about slurs is that Dioniseans invented them and Dioniseans can't handle them, hence the Dionisean bar brawl. You might get kicked out of the tea party, but any grown man isn't going to kill himself over a slur. They'll just use it as political bait to prove that they're oppressed and require freebees.

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