Obsessive thoughts and impulsive behaviour

Apr 2021
2
0
Madrid
Hi! I'm 22 years and over the past 7 month's I haven't been myself at all. I finished university and suddenly I and actually It didn't feel relieved or happy at all, on the contrary I felt bad and frustrated. Then I begun having thoughts I didn't want to have, such as sexual thoughts with other people or relatives and those thoughts persisted for a long time. They weren't mine, but I couldn't stop thinking of them. I had counseling and I understood the thoughts but I still have them when I'm with my boyfriend sometimes and I feel that I'm not living in the present, but in my thoughts. This situation changed my relationship with my boyfriend, because all this obssesive thoughts were with his father, who is really nice with my and supportive, but I felt he looked at me with other intentions, that he was insinuating to me and other things I felt bad about and which made me scary, avoidant and with intrusive thoughts eversince. The thing is I started to act impulsively and to reply badly to my boyfriend. He would say something in a way and i would understand it like something he says to hurt me, couse me pain or implying other things when that's not what he wanted to say and that lead to fights till he broke up with me. We are still talking and seeing each other, but the relationship is not going okay. Yesterday we were going to a place we like and we were discussion about our future and how I would like to move abroad in Germany and how my boyfriend thinks that I need more money and I need to work harder in order to start a life there, when suddenly the work harder thing popped in my head like a threat or with another meaning and I slapped him in the face because I thought he cannot tell me that when i'm working a lot and making money. I wasn't myself. I have never did that to him. I feel really bad and I don't know how to behave anymore around him. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in two weeks, but I don't know what to think or how to act.
 
Apr 2021
4
0
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so you're saying you have started feel unusually angry recently?
"They weren't mine, but I couldn't stop thinking of them. "
I believe you are right. Intrusive thoughts are possible even when awake or asleep. Do you have such thoughts in your sleep as well? trying to figure out what level of consciousness it's on. And do you experience nightmares often?
 
Apr 2021
2
0
Madrid
I felt angry before, but now I'm more impulsive and my anger is exacerbated.

Hi! I have those thoughts in my sleep but more vivid. It's like I'm doing something or someone, in this case, my boyfriends father, tries to do something to me. I experience nightmares, but not so often.
 
Apr 2021
4
0
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I suggest you stay away from his father, for your own sake.
Meanwhile..
You hear music, right? music may sound pleasant however, it isn't exactly "healing" or "curing". So here's something that sounds pleasant and heals. Good news is, there are no side effects of hearing this. God forbid, even if it doesn't help you, atleast it won't harm you. I say this with conviction because this isn't anything like those mantras where they say those removes difficulties when they don't because such wordings mean nothing sensible, only gibberish. On the other hand, the following words are understandable and anyone who knows the same language can verify. Also, anyone (regardless of their religion) can benefit from it.

1. For Anger-related issues
2. For sexual problems

[ video #1 is looped three times and #2 is looped eleven times and the total duration is about 5-6 mins. You can speed up the videos if you're in a hurry. I suggest you listen to them every time you feel uneasy. Its best to hear both once a day over a course of 12 days or until you feel better. I like to think of it as a spiritual antibiotic :) ]

reference links:
1. Surat 42 verse 37
2. Surat 51 verses 47 to 49

That was for the spiritual aspect of your troubles. As for the psychological aspect, I suggest you keep a journal of how often anger as well as those disturbing thoughts come to mind, what are they triggered by? Talk to your family or someone you feel you can trust, to ease your anxiety. If you're comfortable discussing your worries here, I'm all ears. In my opinion, it's better to go to a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist. Talk therapy can help. I believe it's a much better option than being on meds for life. God willing, I hope your worries will go away like they never happened.

(p.s. i'm sorry if it took long to reply, I had to find the content, screen record it, loop it and put up these videos on youtube through the link (unlisted) because apparently one can't attach mp4 media files directly form their device onto threads here. Anyways, it's well worth the effort).
 
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Mar 2021
18
0
Somewhere in the world we know
@Doina I have explosive anger.. such that I don't feel like I have control over myself. I feel that being silent when enraged and going for a walk helps sometimes.
@NotPsychic I tried the 'remedy' for anger issues, I couldn't keep up for 12 days straight ( sorry I know it only takes a few mins but I'm just that lazy XD) but I did try it for , I guess, 5-6 days? I actually think it has some benefit. Like, I feel a bit calmer and not so prone to picking fights lol. Who knows, maybe I'll give the twelve-day-course another try.
Anyways thanks for sharing.