Hi! I'm 22 years and over the past 7 month's I haven't been myself at all. I finished university and suddenly I and actually It didn't feel relieved or happy at all, on the contrary I felt bad and frustrated. Then I begun having thoughts I didn't want to have, such as sexual thoughts with other people or relatives and those thoughts persisted for a long time. They weren't mine, but I couldn't stop thinking of them. I had counseling and I understood the thoughts but I still have them when I'm with my boyfriend sometimes and I feel that I'm not living in the present, but in my thoughts. This situation changed my relationship with my boyfriend, because all this obssesive thoughts were with his father, who is really nice with my and supportive, but I felt he looked at me with other intentions, that he was insinuating to me and other things I felt bad about and which made me scary, avoidant and with intrusive thoughts eversince. The thing is I started to act impulsively and to reply badly to my boyfriend. He would say something in a way and i would understand it like something he says to hurt me, couse me pain or implying other things when that's not what he wanted to say and that lead to fights till he broke up with me. We are still talking and seeing each other, but the relationship is not going okay. Yesterday we were going to a place we like and we were discussion about our future and how I would like to move abroad in Germany and how my boyfriend thinks that I need more money and I need to work harder in order to start a life there, when suddenly the work harder thing popped in my head like a threat or with another meaning and I slapped him in the face because I thought he cannot tell me that when i'm working a lot and making money. I wasn't myself. I have never did that to him. I feel really bad and I don't know how to behave anymore around him. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in two weeks, but I don't know what to think or how to act.