[NSFW] Psychology of a cuckold

Aug 2012
1
0
Wow, I see some pretty wordy answers here. It makes me wonder how many possibilities would be thrown out if we asked why someone preferred the color blue over the color red? LOL Anyhow, I can give you my own position and history and let you draw your own conclusions. :)

#1. My references and qualifications. In public social life, I am much more dominate than submissive. I am a top manager. I've made my own path much more in a lone wolf type of way than a cookie cutter "alpha" or "beta" male. However, when it comes to relationships with women, more accurately relationships with women I am sexually attracted to, I am 110% submissive. They can have me twisted around their little fingers and make me do whatever they want with just a glance, nod or the point of a finger. Luckily for me, I married before too many women besides my first and only wife discovered my weakness (AKA, my greatest pleasure) and she is the one who has exerted the ultimate control over me, keeping me from being fodder for every dominate woman who came after her. I am her cuckold and have been for many years. So I am almost overqualified to give this opinion. Why ask why? Sexually, you are what you are. You like what you like and the odds of changing it once it is set by adulthood is practically zero. Ask anyone who tries to change a homosexual to a heterosexual or visa versa. Ask someone who is a cuckold to become a bull or visa versa. They are what they are and eventually they either embrace it or live their lives miserably. The reasons are infinite and cloudy at best. Regardless,

#2. My history. I'll keep them real brief, but if you are looking for some early experiences that could possibly explain my psyche.

A. We can start with the fact that I had a domineering religious fanatic for a mother and all the baggage that came along with that.

B. I was just entering puberty, or at least the age where my penis started to work and I had discovered erections and masturbation. I also discovered I got tremendous, uncontrollable erections when I spent the night at my grandmother's house. She slept in bra and panties and let me sleep with her. Looking back, she would be considered a cougar now-a-days but back then, she was just my grandmother who was the polar opposite of my mother. So when I got these erections in bed with her I was both scared I was in trouble and embarrassed. She never scolded me. She just laughed it off and told me it was normal and would let me continue cuddling with her even though my little erection between us was obvious. However, even though it would make a good fantasy story for some folks, she also never touched me or anything. Either way, the next mornings I was unable to think about or do anything until I had given myself some relief by masturbating. I somehow discovered that by smelling her old worn slippers while I masturbated that it increased the already awesome pleasure 10 fold. So before long I was seeking out her old slippers and shoes to masturbate with several times a day when I was at her house. About a year after this, before I was even halfway through with puberty, she got cancer and died suddenly.

C. I had a female cousin a couple years older than me. One summer she was living with us because her parents were going through a divorce. My only sister is 7 years older than so she was always off doing her own thing and I'll get to her next. So me and my cousin were alone out in the country but nothing to do but play with each other. Due to my previous experience with my grandmother, I was already sexually interested in women's shoes and feet. My cousin who was already through puberty but still had some tomboy in her still liked to wrestle. We both quickly discovered that I liked to lose and be trapped under her bare feet, especially my face. Apparently she liked doing it too because the effect on me was too obvious to miss even out in the yard or on the living room floor with my jeans on. So she began using my face and crotch as a foot stool at night when we were alone watching TV is the den and my parents were in the living room watching their shows. She would giggle when I started moaning under one of her feet and my little penis would start cumming in my pajamas under her other foot. I even got skilled at fixing my pajamas so that my erection would "accidentally" pop out and I would be in nirvana when the cool bare skin of the sole of her foot would touch my hot exploding penis. She would laugh and call me names and threaten to tell my parents what a little pervert I was if I didn't do everything she told me to do. So I was basically her slave all summer. It was all lighthearted and fun though. We both had a blast. By the time the next summer rolled around though she had discovered older boys and sex so she was no longer interested in me or our little games and I was tormented and frustrated beyond belief by her ignoring me.

#4. My 7 year older sister caught me masturbating with her shoes on a couple occasions. And tricked me into being naked in front of her older friends back when my little dick would get hard but I didn't even have any pubic hair yet and they all though it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. So, yes, you could say I had my share of domination and humiliation during early years.

#5. I finally got to be the older supposedly dominate once when I was about 15 and girl about 13 was staying with us quite a lot one summer. 13 or not, she was smarter and more sexually aware than I was because she discovered that she could easily flirt and tease her way into making me do anything she wanted. She also rapidly discovered that first putting her feet in my face or lap would send me to the moon and that she could demand me to drop my pants and let her play footsie with my penis anytime anywhere and if no one was looking, I would obey. She eventually started handling my aching penis with her hands and while most boys would have been driven to try intercourse, I was frozen into place and trembling and at her mercy. Sometimes while she was playing with it, I would prematurely and spontaneous ejaculate but she always tried to stop before that and either send me away with blue balls to masturbate in private or else she would stand there and watch me do it if I couldn't wait that long. Rumors got out about or little arrangement so it ended abruptly after a few glorious months.

#6. Finally my fiance. I made it to 20 years old as a virgin because back then all the high school girls wanted guys to be the aggressor and it just wasn't in me. Today would be a whole different story but that's a moot point. My future wife was 16. She was also a virgin but quite a tease. The best part is that she was a tease who didn't even realize what a tease she was! A natural. She liked wearing short skirts and high heels and guess who went weak at the knees at the sight of short skirts and high heels? Me. She was also outgoing and aggressive so I was hers for the taking and she loved having an older boyfriend with a good job and a Camaro and I was quite handsome at the time. So she took me. We moved fast but she said she wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. However, that didn't stop her from letting me get to third base, (oral) with her regularly even though she wouldn't return that favor. I was relegated to either cumming in my pants while dry humping or else cumming under her feet after a foot job. Then just when I thought we were destined to get married, she dropped the bomb that even though she did still want to keep the possibility of us marrying open, she wanted to date other guys for a little while to make sure of her decision. She told me this on the phone one night and what I remember vividly to this day was the fact that my cock got so hard that I had to take it out and masturbate it while we discussed and I pleaded. Of course she mistook my moans of pleasure for moans of grief and I supposed they were both. I orgasmed twice before our long conversation ended and at least 2 more times that night. Then for the next two weeks I had to endure more phone calls from her about the other guys she was talking to while I continued to plead and masturbate on the phone. She went out with one guy a couple times and I stalked them on the second date and masturbated in my car while they made out in his. Then she led them into her house and he didn't come out for a couple hours. A couple days later she finally told me that we were back on as a steady couple. I asked her about this guy repeatedly but she never confessed to even making out with him much less bringing him into her house. But she a little different after that and I knew deep down that she had given her virginity to this other guy. (I found out years later that she had) I had no idea why I was so turned on and desperate for her during this time and since I was already a chronic masturbater, I didn't give much though to my odd behavior of uncontrollably jacking off instead of being uncontrollably angry. Regardless, when I was 21 and she was a month away from her 18th birthday, we married.

#7. Now she's my wife and we fuck like rabbits for the first year. Her interest was already waning within a couple months though. Then we started having kids after a couple years. We had two kids and sex became a battle ground. I wanted it all the time. She rarely wanted it. Obviously she won. Then along came the 7 year itch for her. During these first 7 years of marriage, after being denied, finally considering my odd behavior during our dating years and my adolescent years, I had discovered there were two things that would make me as horny as my wife herself and the same two things would make me orgasm harder during masturbation than I did actually fucking my wife. The smell of her oldest, muskiest high heels and the thought of another man fucking her. Now, I was no longer a kid. I was no longer a virgin. I was an adult married man with kids and now I thought there was something really wrong with me. Luckily, the internet was starting to emerge and I obviously started seeking out porn. I had never even heard the word cuckold or knew of anyone who had the same "wrong" thoughts as I did before then. But one day I stumbled across a cuckold site and my whole world changed! I not only discovered my foot fetish and femdom fetish were two of the most popular in the world, I discovered there were multitudes of "cuckolds" in this world too! I was a happy man. And yes, I know that a lot of the cuckold sites are for entertainment only, I started digging deeper and keeping my eyes and ears open and discovered there was a lot of reality and real cuckold couples out there too. Enough so that I began to slowly drop hints to my wife about this odd fetish of mine that I had carried alone for so many years.

#8. My Cuckoldress. So, here we are. In the typical 7 year itch marriage. She's married to a submissive and wants a dominate even though she is one herself. She wants an even greater one. I am married to a dominate who won't dominate me because she is sexually unsatisfied overall. I have a barely 5 1/2 inch thin penis and am dying to see my wife spread her legs for another man with a huge cock. And I start slowly sharing these cuckold fantasies with her. She was initially taken back. It's the same old story everyone has repeated 1,000 times so I will just fast forward to the time where she had not only accepted my desire to be a cuckold but she had taken it on as a desire of her own. The two worlds collided when she got a new job and a co-worker and her immediately had sparks. She came home and told me about their mutual attraction and wanted to know if I was serious about her doing this for real. How could I deny her? First of all I hadn't seen her this giddly, hot, wet and excited since our honeymoon and secondly my cock was hard and leaking before I could even get it out of my pants and I cum in my hand right there with us discussing it! She started fucking him the very next day but she waiting a couple weeks before she confessed that she had been doing it. She had been letting me grovel at her feet after work while I removed her high heels and pantyhose for the day and ate her pussy while begging for updates. I only fucked her a couple times myself during those couple weeks because she always orgasmed while I ate her and I would likewise prematurely ejaculate in my hands. Finally she confessed that she'd already been fucking him and that having me grovel between her legs and eat her pussy only hours after her new lover had fucked her was only making it better. Once again, I couldn't argue and I proceeded to now spend the next couple months begging her to get him to let me watch them. That day finally came and it was 1,000 times better and 1,000 times worse than any wanna be cuckold could ever fantasize about. Nearly 2 decades later my stomach is churning and my little dick is aching and leaking in my pants just from remembering the moment. I could fill volumes of what's happened since. But we're still together and are happier than 90% of the couples around us. Many couple actually ask what our secret is because we are lovey dovey for a couple our age when we are together. It's because cuckolding is about us, not about the other guy. They are usually long term close friends but at the end of the day, they are little more than live dildos.

#9. So in summary, I welcome your psychoanalysis. I actually ask for it. But in the end. Green is my favorite color. Dusk is my favorite time of day. And I am a cuckold who thrives on femdom.
 
Sep 2012
1
0
I am reading up on this subject, and one explanation I came across is that the woman uses the threat of cuckolding to entice her mate into courtship behavior instead of just sex without courtship. This way, the man is motivated to please her and make her happy.

I am no psychology expert, and I am trying to read through this thread. I just thought I would throw this out there to see if anyone had any comments about it.

Forgive me if someone has already mentioned this...

I am wondering why traditional marriage discourages the female from cuckolding her mate. It seems like the female loses a lot of her power by vowing to remain faithful. Perhaps the rules of traditional marriage were written by men... That would make sense.
 
Jan 2013
2
0
I stumbled on this thread while trying to understand unconscious motivations for my actions which have cast me into psychological hell and--without being over dramatic--probably ruined my marriage. This thread has been a remarkable awakening, as keep saying to myself, yes this is me! To condense my story: tow years ago I urged my wife to have sex with a few anonymous men. This was the culmination of years of being aroused by her stories of past sexual encounters.

What happened was inevitable: she fell in love with one of them and we may now be heading for divorce.

The pattern of my relationships parallel many of those who have posted. I have always been infatuated with women who spurned my love, either by not wanting to be with me at all or by dating me but then ultimately rejecting me. This always elicited in me a violent emotional reaction of raging depression and jealousy. But there was something in all this agony that I romanticized, that I almost craved?

The flip side: relationships in which the woman was head over heels for me I lost interest in. But always my attention returned when the woman started to pull away. Is it the Groucho Marx joke, "I would never want to be part of a club that would have me as a member?"

Anyway I finally married the woman who I absolutely knew would never hurt me. My vulnerabilities are what she loved. She did not perceive them as weakness; indeed they made her love me even more. So I seem to have "punished" her and myself by pushing her away to be with other men. Did I want to duplicate the previous relationships? Was it a way to sabotage the relationship because she loved me too much? Was her not hurting me unacceptable?

Unsurprisingly to those who are following this thread, through all this emotional hell, as I am consumed with jealousy over this other man and in emotional despair at the prospect of losing her to him, I am STILL extremely turned on by the thought of her with him sexually. (Not emotionally, though. That just results in pure pain.).

There is more, but this is the gist of my tale. My question to anyone/everyone: I know a kink can't be "cured," but is there any way to salvage our relationship? Or has my kink finally done me in?

Any responses are appreciated. If I can't find my way back to this thread, my email is abbondad@gmail
 
Jan 2013
2
0
JohnCBoy,

Please read my post. And then I have a question. You say at the end that you are
Still together and are happy. I so desperately want this to be our ending as well.
But our marriage is in terrible peril as a result of my actions. How did you make it
Through this? I fear that if I tell my wife of my unconscious motivations she will
Leave me out of fury of my "using" her to attain my selfish erotic needs, that I indulged in my sexual proclivities at the expense of her and of our marriage, which is extraordinarily selfish.
Abbondad@gmail






[quote author=JohnCBoy link=topic=859.msg21352#msg21352 date=1345570411]
Wow, I see some pretty wordy answers here. It makes me wonder how many possibilities would be thrown out if we asked why someone preferred the color blue over the color red? LOL Anyhow, I can give you my own position and history and let you draw your own conclusions. :)

#1. My references and qualifications. In public social life, I am much more dominate than submissive. I am a top manager. I've made my own path much more in a lone wolf type of way than a cookie cutter "alpha" or "beta" male. However, when it comes to relationships with women, more accurately relationships with women I am sexually attracted to, I am 110% submissive. They can have me twisted around their little fingers and make me do whatever they want with just a glance, nod or the point of a finger. Luckily for me, I married before too many women besides my first and only wife discovered my weakness (AKA, my greatest pleasure) and she is the one who has exerted the ultimate control over me, keeping me from being fodder for every dominate woman who came after her. I am her cuckold and have been for many years. So I am almost overqualified to give this opinion. Why ask why? Sexually, you are what you are. You like what you like and the odds of changing it once it is set by adulthood is practically zero. Ask anyone who tries to change a homosexual to a heterosexual or visa versa. Ask someone who is a cuckold to become a bull or visa versa. They are what they are and eventually they either embrace it or live their lives miserably. The reasons are infinite and cloudy at best. Regardless,

#2. My history. I'll keep them real brief, but if you are looking for some early experiences that could possibly explain my psyche.

A. We can start with the fact that I had a domineering religious fanatic for a mother and all the baggage that came along with that.

B. I was just entering puberty, or at least the age where my penis started to work and I had discovered erections and masturbation. I also discovered I got tremendous, uncontrollable erections when I spent the night at my grandmother's house. She slept in bra and panties and let me sleep with her. Looking back, she would be considered a cougar now-a-days but back then, she was just my grandmother who was the polar opposite of my mother. So when I got these erections in bed with her I was both scared I was in trouble and embarrassed. She never scolded me. She just laughed it off and told me it was normal and would let me continue cuddling with her even though my little erection between us was obvious. However, even though it would make a good fantasy story for some folks, she also never touched me or anything. Either way, the next mornings I was unable to think about or do anything until I had given myself some relief by masturbating. I somehow discovered that by smelling her old worn slippers while I masturbated that it increased the already awesome pleasure 10 fold. So before long I was seeking out her old slippers and shoes to masturbate with several times a day when I was at her house. About a year after this, before I was even halfway through with puberty, she got cancer and died suddenly.

C. I had a female cousin a couple years older than me. One summer she was living with us because her parents were going through a divorce. My only sister is 7 years older than so she was always off doing her own thing and I'll get to her next. So me and my cousin were alone out in the country but nothing to do but play with each other. Due to my previous experience with my grandmother, I was already sexually interested in women's shoes and feet. My cousin who was already through puberty but still had some tomboy in her still liked to wrestle. We both quickly discovered that I liked to lose and be trapped under her bare feet, especially my face. Apparently she liked doing it too because the effect on me was too obvious to miss even out in the yard or on the living room floor with my jeans on. So she began using my face and crotch as a foot stool at night when we were alone watching TV is the den and my parents were in the living room watching their shows. She would giggle when I started moaning under one of her feet and my little penis would start cumming in my pajamas under her other foot. I even got skilled at fixing my pajamas so that my erection would "accidentally" pop out and I would be in nirvana when the cool bare skin of the sole of her foot would touch my hot exploding penis. She would laugh and call me names and threaten to tell my parents what a little pervert I was if I didn't do everything she told me to do. So I was basically her slave all summer. It was all lighthearted and fun though. We both had a blast. By the time the next summer rolled around though she had discovered older boys and sex so she was no longer interested in me or our little games and I was tormented and frustrated beyond belief by her ignoring me.

#4. My 7 year older sister caught me masturbating with her shoes on a couple occasions. And tricked me into being naked in front of her older friends back when my little dick would get hard but I didn't even have any pubic hair yet and they all though it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. So, yes, you could say I had my share of domination and humiliation during early years.

#5. I finally got to be the older supposedly dominate once when I was about 15 and girl about 13 was staying with us quite a lot one summer. 13 or not, she was smarter and more sexually aware than I was because she discovered that she could easily flirt and tease her way into making me do anything she wanted. She also rapidly discovered that first putting her feet in my face or lap would send me to the moon and that she could demand me to drop my pants and let her play footsie with my penis anytime anywhere and if no one was looking, I would obey. She eventually started handling my aching penis with her hands and while most boys would have been driven to try intercourse, I was frozen into place and trembling and at her mercy. Sometimes while she was playing with it, I would prematurely and spontaneous ejaculate but she always tried to stop before that and either send me away with blue balls to masturbate in private or else she would stand there and watch me do it if I couldn't wait that long. Rumors got out about or little arrangement so it ended abruptly after a few glorious months.

#6. Finally my fiance. I made it to 20 years old as a virgin because back then all the high school girls wanted guys to be the aggressor and it just wasn't in me. Today would be a whole different story but that's a moot point. My future wife was 16. She was also a virgin but quite a tease. The best part is that she was a tease who didn't even realize what a tease she was! A natural. She liked wearing short skirts and high heels and guess who went weak at the knees at the sight of short skirts and high heels? Me. She was also outgoing and aggressive so I was hers for the taking and she loved having an older boyfriend with a good job and a Camaro and I was quite handsome at the time. So she took me. We moved fast but she said she wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. However, that didn't stop her from letting me get to third base, (oral) with her regularly even though she wouldn't return that favor. I was relegated to either cumming in my pants while dry humping or else cumming under her feet after a foot job. Then just when I thought we were destined to get married, she dropped the bomb that even though she did still want to keep the possibility of us marrying open, she wanted to date other guys for a little while to make sure of her decision. She told me this on the phone one night and what I remember vividly to this day was the fact that my cock got so hard that I had to take it out and masturbate it while we discussed and I pleaded. Of course she mistook my moans of pleasure for moans of grief and I supposed they were both. I orgasmed twice before our long conversation ended and at least 2 more times that night. Then for the next two weeks I had to endure more phone calls from her about the other guys she was talking to while I continued to plead and masturbate on the phone. She went out with one guy a couple times and I stalked them on the second date and masturbated in my car while they made out in his. Then she led them into her house and he didn't come out for a couple hours. A couple days later she finally told me that we were back on as a steady couple. I asked her about this guy repeatedly but she never confessed to even making out with him much less bringing him into her house. But she a little different after that and I knew deep down that she had given her virginity to this other guy. (I found out years later that she had) I had no idea why I was so turned on and desperate for her during this time and since I was already a chronic masturbater, I didn't give much though to my odd behavior of uncontrollably jacking off instead of being uncontrollably angry. Regardless, when I was 21 and she was a month away from her 18th birthday, we married.

#7. Now she's my wife and we fuck like rabbits for the first year. Her interest was already waning within a couple months though. Then we started having kids after a couple years. We had two kids and sex became a battle ground. I wanted it all the time. She rarely wanted it. Obviously she won. Then along came the 7 year itch for her. During these first 7 years of marriage, after being denied, finally considering my odd behavior during our dating years and my adolescent years, I had discovered there were two things that would make me as horny as my wife herself and the same two things would make me orgasm harder during masturbation than I did actually fucking my wife. The smell of her oldest, muskiest high heels and the thought of another man fucking her. Now, I was no longer a kid. I was no longer a virgin. I was an adult married man with kids and now I thought there was something really wrong with me. Luckily, the internet was starting to emerge and I obviously started seeking out porn. I had never even heard the word cuckold or knew of anyone who had the same "wrong" thoughts as I did before then. But one day I stumbled across a cuckold site and my whole world changed! I not only discovered my foot fetish and femdom fetish were two of the most popular in the world, I discovered there were multitudes of "cuckolds" in this world too! I was a happy man. And yes, I know that a lot of the cuckold sites are for entertainment only, I started digging deeper and keeping my eyes and ears open and discovered there was a lot of reality and real cuckold couples out there too. Enough so that I began to slowly drop hints to my wife about this odd fetish of mine that I had carried alone for so many years.

#8. My Cuckoldress. So, here we are. In the typical 7 year itch marriage. She's married to a submissive and wants a dominate even though she is one herself. She wants an even greater one. I am married to a dominate who won't dominate me because she is sexually unsatisfied overall. I have a barely 5 1/2 inch thin penis and am dying to see my wife spread her legs for another man with a huge cock. And I start slowly sharing these cuckold fantasies with her. She was initially taken back. It's the same old story everyone has repeated 1,000 times so I will just fast forward to the time where she had not only accepted my desire to be a cuckold but she had taken it on as a desire of her own. The two worlds collided when she got a new job and a co-worker and her immediately had sparks. She came home and told me about their mutual attraction and wanted to know if I was serious about her doing this for real. How could I deny her? First of all I hadn't seen her this giddly, hot, wet and excited since our honeymoon and secondly my cock was hard and leaking before I could even get it out of my pants and I cum in my hand right there with us discussing it! She started fucking him the very next day but she waiting a couple weeks before she confessed that she had been doing it. She had been letting me grovel at her feet after work while I removed her high heels and pantyhose for the day and ate her pussy while begging for updates. I only fucked her a couple times myself during those couple weeks because she always orgasmed while I ate her and I would likewise prematurely ejaculate in my hands. Finally she confessed that she'd already been fucking him and that having me grovel between her legs and eat her pussy only hours after her new lover had fucked her was only making it better. Once again, I couldn't argue and I proceeded to now spend the next couple months begging her to get him to let me watch them. That day finally came and it was 1,000 times better and 1,000 times worse than any wanna be cuckold could ever fantasize about. Nearly 2 decades later my stomach is churning and my little dick is aching and leaking in my pants just from remembering the moment. I could fill volumes of what's happened since. But we're still together and are happier than 90% of the couples around us. Many couple actually ask what our secret is because we are lovey dovey for a couple our age when we are together. It's because cuckolding is about us, not about the other guy. They are usually long term close friends but at the end of the day, they are little more than live dildos.

#9. So in summary, I welcome your psychoanalysis. I actually ask for it. But in the end. Green is my favorite color. Dusk is my favorite time of day. And I am a cuckold who thrives on femdom.
[/quote]
 
Sep 2012
96
0
Rochester, New York
If your wife sent you to other women to help them you would tell them that thier posture was phenominal. Mabey for people that are with other women if you practice keeping your posture still and your shoulders level that you will not be in jeopardy.
 
Dec 2014
1
0
USA
My findings

For what it's worth I thought I'd share my findings.

First marriage, good sex life. We both choose to explore swinging. Went well, no jealousy both of us had fun. Our agreement was we do things together at clubs. I saw her take large penis, didn't make me aroused at all, I was more of the mindset that I was giving her a pass to have fun on a another ride. She even lied and met a guy outside of our agreement.. I wasn't pissed just disappointing that she would lie when we had this outlet to have fun together. No cuckold feelings at all. That marriage ended for other reason not related to sex. As a matter of fact the sex with her was very smooth flowing, good and natural in retrospect.

Marriage two. Opposite type of women, very opinionated, feisty, wild. Our primary bond is that we both share a passion for business and both are willing to sacrifice for that goal building a business. Early on she was still wanting to be involved with her ex and I was just looking for sex. We connected and started having sex. I didn't much mind or have any ground to expect any exclusivity as we weren't committed. She was a party girl, drank heavy. Turns out we just started playing house, spent nearly every moment together. Everyday for 6 months. Feelings developed. Around that time I said I wanted to be exclusive and she agreed. I was well in tune with her and felt a bad vibe the night before I was taking her on a big trip to Mexico. Well I found her at her Ex's house. I felt really betrayed. Without getting into all the details we moved forward but my trust in her wouldn't return fully. I then found out the sex we were having wasn't good for her. Even though her ex was much smaller in size her feelings for him made it really good. While drunk one night I started asking questions. She said her women parts would get so wet when she saw her ex she'd have to go to the bathroom and wipe up. We also talked many times about her past sexual relations, lots of very large penises on most of her ex's. How those larger penis felt good and hit all the right spots easily and allowed for lots of positions. I'm not small, average at 6.5" a little on the thin side vs. thick but not extremely thin. At one point she faked it and I caught her. Also heard some stories of bisexual quests, random sex, threesomes, bathroom blow jobs. Basically this information put tons of doubt in me regarding my sexual capabilities. Mind you we enjoyed every other aspect of our lives and time spent was rewarding. Over time our sex improved for her, I could feel the physical changes when she was aroused, lots of fluids squirting, etc. Based on her very wild sexual past I found the idea of this very hot, sexy women and I getting into sexual encounters appealing. She was not on board with the idea sober but drunk she was at times an instigator. Maybe I felt by giving her options together that would olivate the need to worry that she would stray on her own. At this point I was suggesting she have penetration with other men of couples we were having escapades with from time to time at random parties. She didn't want to. One of her reasons was that she "knew" herself and said if she started and liked it she wouldn't stop. In one encounter with a couple we became close friends with, I pushed the issue and she was upset about it the next day. Many years later she initiated sex with that guy very drunk and would have 4 orgasms back to back... he was smaller than me. By this point the cuckold idea was much stronger and I really enjoyed that encounter when she asked me to hold her leg up while he did her. I always felt like I wasn't good enough in bed for her and was on a quest for her to truly be satisfied sexually even though she had expressed many times and to others she was satisfied with me. I guess I liked to believe I wasn't. Then came the idea of BBC. For my birthday we would end up at a club where she took a large one. I really enjoyed it and she did too. She said things she doesn't with me, made noises she doesn't. Said she liked him. Around this time we had been married 4 years or so. Then we had kids. Difficult kids that demand lots of time. The sex slowed way down between us. Natural conclusion was to embrace the cuckold idea that I wasn't good enough and others were. One difficult component to our wild sexual adventures was that she always felt guilt the next day and didn't like what she had done, where as I always was ok with exploring and separating sex from love and our relationship. While sex drive is supposed to peak for a 30 year old, for my wife it tanked. As a mother that role dominates her life. It has been a struggle to accept the change. In the past 3 years my cuckold thoughts have a strong hold. It's my preferred sexual arousal when I think about her with taking care of myself it's never us, it's her and others, unless we happen to have great sex, then I think about that encounter. So Vegas 2012, convention. We both go, she gets bored and is in need of some good relaxation and fun with the intense kids. She goes to the spa, goes to the bar, drinking starts. She meets an interesting guy that she thinks we could professionally benefit from. tells me about it, introduces us at the convention. The guy could give a hoot about me but is hitting hard on my wife. Being that I like that idea I don't intervene. The next day without my knowledge she meets him while I'm at the convention and drinks and hangs out during the day. (Claiming he's not her type, and he wasn't based on what I know of her) what he was, was exciting, he was throwing down big game. She was attracted to that. Anyway, she seemed extremely occupied with hanging out with him and that started to irritate me. I really planned to not force her that weekend into orgies and make it all about us. I told him to f off after I found out she told him all about our sex life, he said I didn't like her, he pinned that I like BBC fantasy and called me submissive to her. Despite my fantasy, it's a fantasy that I need to be in control of and I realized this was getting out of my control. I told her to drop him, that I didn't like him. Well she didn't want to be controlled and continued talking to him on facebook and text.. that destroyed the 5 years of trust rebuilding. I was to a place where I didn't feel insecure and now I do again. Anyway, on a few occasions when opportunity presented, I did have sex with others. Once with the wife of the man she had the 4 orgasms with. In that experience I was the dominate and he was the cuck. I enjoyed that role reversal too. Another time with a random couple in Vegas and that was the ultimate BBC with his white girlfriend and me as the sub. I felt lots of guilt but the anger of lack of sex with my wife or lack of her desire masked the guilt. A year and a half after the vegas boy incident, sex really dropped off. Probably do to massive stress on the wifes part and anxiety. So recently fed up I made the decision to have random sex. It was really really good. I fully realize these people are falsely attractive because our time is 100% positive. If I lived with them the stresses my wife and I have encountered would likely have damaged these people too. What these encounters did was boost my confidence. To hear a women say the same things my wife said when the BBC went in her made me feel great. I learned long ago not to worry about my wife smelling another women on my penis because no matter how much time has passed she never wants to go there with me. The hardest part was to hide the glowing feeling from some great random sex. I know in some parts of the world married couple indulge in this activity. One thing I learned and this may help others is that I have zero interest in these other woman's past sex lives and that I have zero cuckold fantasies with them. I like being the one desired and to provide them pleasure. The cuckold mindset is attached to my wife. I've heard cuckold termed as erotizing betrayal. I believe it is a copping mechanism to deal with a cheater that you really love and can't be without for some of us dealing with this. Since my few random encounters I feel a strong urge to want my wife to have that desire for me. I've come to a point where I'm demanding that we truely work on us and improving our sex life. She's putting effort in. She did disclose that she feels we are damaged and that she has roadblocks that prevent her from opening up emotionally to me like she could if we had never had sex with others. That hurts a bit but it probably similar to my trust issues caused by her actions. It can never be like before you were betrayed. We'll see what's next for us. The contrast of sex that is wanted and desired is so great compared to a women just laying there or who just gets her self off and rolls over. I hope we can build a new paradigm for ourselves. If we could fix our sex everything else is great. Since the wife has put effort into us I dropped the randoms.. I really just want my wife to be attracted to me and have great sex.

Good luck guys! If you're like me, my story probably turned you on at various points. I haven't escaped being a cuckold in my head with my wife... the desire to go there is rewarding for a couple minutes. P.S. in my out of marriage adventures I've learned that many married women cheat, I've met them. So it appears women get upset with husbands too and enjoy uninhibited sex as much as I did. Girls on dates also take numbers from guys that hit on them while their date is in the bathroom... girls are not angels either.
 
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Dec 2015
1
0
New York
I have watched my wife with other men and I feel very jealous and humiliated and excited, all at the same time. I watch her deep kissing and it actually hurts me. But still I want to see it. And I get an erection as I watch. I want to understand this.
 
Dec 2015
1
0
India
The right explanation for cuckoldry is this: Cuckoldry is intense love. Period.

You feel the love for your partner so intensely that you merge your self into them and feel the eroticism they feel.

That's why the hotwife needs to do everything in her power to ensure that there is no sense of insecurity our doubt in the cuckold's mind as to how much he means to her.

Humiliation, submission, etc., may co-exist. But they are just correlation. No causation.

Here is an article that I wrote explaining this. I hope you guys like it. And find it answer many of the questions you have posted here: https://dexmaya.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/psychology-of-cuckolds-and-cuckqueans/