[NSFW] Psychology of a cuckold

Sep 2011
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Re: Psychology of a cuckold

I am 40 and in an 18 year relationship with a wonderful woman. I am not in any way submissive. In fact, I much prefer to be the leader rather than the follower. I like to control my own destiny as much as possible. I am leader in my business and in life. We have a great life, happy kids, good jobs, etc.

My wife and I have had a somewhat "lifestyle" friendly relationship for over 10 years. In that time we have been in sexual situations with couples, single females and single males. Although each experience is very exciting and almost always enjoyable, I am more drawn to seeing, hearing or knowing my wife is enjoying another man.

Some History

I have always been a sensitive person. That was especially true in my teenage years. I was a good athlete, very popular, attractive and a good student. I dated very attractive girls and never really had a hard time with the whole dating scene. I did however have a very strong insecurity streak. I never really felt like I belonged. I was also very jealous and always checking up on my girl friend as to where she was, who she was with, etc.

In order to save a relationship that was being adversely affected by my insecurity, I tried to take control of my jealousy by telling myself that it was normal for my girlfriend to want another guy. Rather than run from it, I would embrace it. I introduced the idea to her and we would discuss fantasies about her sleeping with my best friend, etc. Although she never felt truly comfortable with those conversations, she played along for my sake.

Once I married my wife, I immediately introduced the Swinging Lifestyle to her. We attended some events which actually caused her to recoil a bit. She felt it was too much. After some time, we had an experience where she was attracted to a guy on our Alaskan Cruise and I suggested that she try to invite him back for sex. She did and that night, I watched her have full sex with a man for the first time. That event opened the door to couples, single females and single males in our sex life over the last 10 years.

I enjoy going out and watching the guys in the room notice her. I enjoy knowing that she may at any moment choose to kiss a guy or take him home. Although at the same time, it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable which ultimately turns me on. It is so odd.

Why Cuckold?


With all of the options available to me, I am really curious why I am so intensely focused on my wife sleeping with other men. Why does it make me completely jealous and turned on at the same time? It is such a mixed bag. I have been trying to explain this to her in a way that make sense. So far, I can't seem to get it across in a way that clicks.

When I think about the situations that we have had, I tend to focus on a few things:


- How sexy she is when she is lost in the moment of passion
- How great a lover she is
- How lucky I am to be loved by her
- I see her as a woman rather than my wife
- How much more passionately/intensely she responds to another man as opposed to our sex (which is very good)
- How a larger penis reaches her more deeply than my average penis does - How good this makes her feel
- How she forgets that I am there because she is lost in the moment
- How beautiful the whole experience is

I try to explain this fetish to her as a love thing. I love her and her to feel fulfilled, wanted, sexy, deeply penetrated and sexually satisfied. It brings me great pleasure to see her or know that she is feeling good. I don't really enjoy submission or humiliation although if it really turned her on, I might try it. I seemed to feed off what turns her on.

But is that accurate? Is this really a way to control my jealousy? Is this a control thing? Is it both control and love?

I need help in explaining this to her. I want to submit to this completely but not sure how to explain it. I also want to explore this without making her feel that she needs to do something to please me.

Any input is appreciated.
 
Sep 2011
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Re: Psychology of a cuckold

Sorry just reread and missed some typos and grammar errors, etc.

One more thing. I would be VERY interested in the perspective of a woman who enjoys being with a Cuck. I would love to know what is good or bad about it.
 
Sep 2011
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Re: Psychology of a cuckold

Hi All

New to the Forum and came across it whilst trying to find out a little more about my personal desires and turn ons.

Being Cuckolded is the ultimate in sexual satisfaction for me both mentally and physically. Quite why I will never know. What I find very hard to understand is the bit that really turns me on. I do not want to devalue this forum down to "porn site" value but to me it is all about the humiliation and submissive side.

For me, to have a truly fulfilled experience I need to be "forced" into cleaning up. Hence I will always end up licking my wife clean from any cum either in her on on her. This is what fulfills me.

As I said I do not know why. I am in no way attracted to men or the idea of cum in any other environment other than from my wife. I have been in many very sexual situations with her over the years and only this drives me on.

I have no wish to be one on one with another guy or another woman. I just desire everything about the 2 of us with a third person who has to be a guy.

Where all this come from I do not know. I had a happy and normal childhood with no hints at this until after being married and into my early 30's. That was 15 years or so ago now but the desires continue to build and endure.

I am just thankful my wonderful partner is turned on and fascinated by it also.
 
Nov 2011
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I'm glad I found this forum. For years I've fantasized about my wife fucking other men and I've wondered why. I post her photos on the internet and at one point thousands of men were jacking off to her tits every day. (According to my site stats) That totally turned me on. She liked it too. I would tell her how many men think she has the greatest tits on Earth and she would beam with pride. But my first wife was unfaithful to me, my longterm girlfriend after her, and my second wife was unfaithful, too.

I have an odd twist to my cuckold fantasies. I just love knowing my wife is making other men's cocks hard. I sent pics of her tits to one of my friends and it gets me so hot to look at those pics and jackoff, knowing HE jacks off to them too. When I look at porn and pretend it's someone else fucking my wife, I am fascinated by his cock and wish I could kiss and feel it while he fucks her. I have been so fascinated by other men's cocks that I finally got on Craigslist and posted an ad and found someone who let me suck him off. Ohmygawd it was incredible, sucking another man's cock! I loved it! I did it a few times with that one guy but then got bored with the average size cock of the man I met. I have a 7 1/2" cock, a nice looking cock people tell me on the net, and I would love to find a friend with a big cock who will let me suck him off now and then. My wife doesn't know about my fascination with cock, and I love having sex with her.

I love fantasizing about sharing my wife with my friends, that we all take turns fucking her and she sucks all of us off. I love the idea of watching her sucking my friends cocks, and watching them suck on her big tits. I'm trying to sort this all out before something happens that I regret. I'll stay checked in here. Thanks for all your sharing. I have a feeling I'm going to sort out my shit here.
 
Nov 2011
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My take on the Whys of sharing one’s wife.

What it would represent to me as a husband;

As men we typically need two kinds of energies from our woman, the feminine GOOD/MOTHERLY energy of love, understanding, caring, nurturing, loyalty, etc. And this other type of energy that we men thrive on, the feminine DARK/WHORE energy.

Masculine men need a balanced supply of these two types of feminine energies constantly. We get the first type from our wives very easily in most marriages and this makes us stick to them. But we crave for that second feminine whore energy too, most women are taught from a young age that this kind of feminine energy is BAD or TABOO and should be buried deep inside them never to be brought out, this lack of feminine whore energy from our own wives drives us to porn, prostitutes, etc because it satisfies that NEED in us men for that feminine whore or sluty energy from a woman.

Men who desire to share their wife are in essence desiring to see their woman giving them the total package of energy, in other words the feminine GOOD/MOTHERLY energy and that feminine DARK/WHORE energy, these men don't want to go out and find a whore or prostitute to fulfil that NEED for the feminine DARK/WHORE energy, but instead they want a complete union of the masculine and feminine between them and their wife by encouraging and lovingly leading their wife to get in touch with her deep dark suppressed sexual side, her feminine dark/whore energy, and turning her into a SLUT WIFE is the most satisfying way for men like this to accomplish and receive the TOTAL PACKAGE OF LIGHT AND DARK FEMININE ENERGYS from the same woman who is his soul mate, lover, and mother of his children.

What I think it would represent to my wife;

I feel that sharing ones wife with VERY DOMINANT MEN (Any colour as long as it appeals to her) is about trusting and allowing the woman you love, the mother of your children, your soul mate to experience dominant “testosterone full” masculine sexuality at it's highest level for the satisfaction of her feminine submissive sexuality at the deepest level.

Women are wired to feel deep sexual attraction for dominant “testosterone full” men, this is especially true at the times when they are ovulating and most fertile, this is not something a self confident and successful masculine husband should be scared about, instead we should embrace this and use it for our wife’s complete sexual satisfaction and to use this to increase sexual satisfaction in our marriage (provided you are in a very strong union with her - if you are not then do not attempt to share her would be my sincere advise - work on your union first) . A sexually satisfied woman will be oozing both light and dark feminine love or energy and will make a better wife and loving mother for your children.

It is important for men like us to realise that most women are sensible and will choose “Mr Nice Guy” over the long term, and “Mr Testosterone” for short sexual pleasures from time to time (particularly when she is most fertile).

By allowing your woman or wife to have this pure animalistic sexual pleasure from a dominant male from time to time, you are allowing her to have her cake and eat it too! She can keep her profound connection to you and her natural need for everything you represent in her life (love, romance, security, kids, family life, old age companionship, etc), while giving her the opportunity and space to explore her DARK feminine sluty side without feeling insecure about loosing her Lover, her Protector, the Father of her children and her Motherhood in a stable well balanced, and long term loving relationship or marriage.

Note: please correct me if I am wrong, I am always open to learning.
 
Nov 2011
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marriedflirt said so clearly "...that by allowing your woman or your wife to have this pure animalistic pleasure from a dominant male...while giving her the opportunity to explore her Dark feminine slutty side..." we cuck's empower our 'other' to discover all aspects of her sexuality. Not all women desire to sate all of their sexual hungers, whilst some dew; and for those chosing to taste their non-vanilla flavors the rituals bringing on her orgasm can be singularly arousing. Not all cuck's need be eye witness to her exploration.
I find my involvement with her preparations for her undewing a very sensual ritual; assisting her with her bathing, offering suggestions and opinions of her evening wear, make-up, fragance and accessories (packing her toys is most erotic), calling her cab, holding the cab door open as she enters to be taken to her man.
Waiting at home for return not knowing if she will be back before of after sunrise. And when she arrives home, waiting to open the door of her man's car as they share their good-byes; then walking with her inside our home to share a coffee and chat about her evening, or to simply lay beside her as she sleeps and her body recovers from its exhausting lustfilled night, and then there are also wonderful moments of her sharing her evening with me her body scented with the sensual musk of well fucked and sated female.
Of course, not for everyone. My being cucked is a shared relationship that feeds and sates rather than erode and undermine~ the sate of an unfullfilled man and woman whatever their choices, most certainly will continue unchanged lacking the courage to share who they are with their other. You are correct marriedflirt live the thrill and enjoy your life~s
 
Jan 2012
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So a question, from a woman, about this:
often, this leads to less and less frequent sex between the married couple since the cuck is more interested in the intellectual aspects of stimulation via the third party relationship and is interested in the female partner fucking another male. I have had friends involved in this type of relationship who felt sadness at the lack of sexuality in the primary relationship. They wound up seeking satisfaction (physically and emotionally) outside the primary relationship because of this. Is this a downside? what do you think??
 
Nov 2011
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Yes this is the down side of such a relationship, a woman need to feel her man is interested in her ALONE for her to remain in union with her husband or she slowly drifts away, a major risk in such a marriage.
 
Nov 2011
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Any union between a man and woman can work and last as long as there is the two opposite energies attracting each other, the dominant in union with the submissive has more chances of lasting then two dominants or two submissives in union.... now i think there are different kinds or degrees of cuckolds! I find the idea of watching my wife with another man as very perverted and erotic, nothing turns me on more truly speaking, but at the same time as this turns me on I also need to be in total control of her ie. I can only find this erotic when a following conditions are in place.

1. she has to be totally submissive to me, trust me enough to accept my dominance over her from her heart, mind and soul, and when I share her, i need to know she is doing this, letting herself submit to another man then me, out of her immense desire to please me, her one and only real master and lover.

2. The man has to be a stranger who we meet out of town discreetly on special nights desiganted for this kind of fun.

3. I have to be present to protect her, and ensure that she knows I am there for her and that even when she is submitting to another male for her and my sexual pleasure, she ultimately belongs to only one man her husband and master.

4. I cant make cuckolding as the sole source of erotic pleasure, i would need to experiment with many things and make sex as erotic as possible without cuckolding aspects in it, ie there has to be in place an already very erotic and thriving sex life between the two of us, cuckolding has to be one of the many "spices" i would like us to add on.

5. I have to be in total control of any cuckolding situation and her in that situation, this has to be totally about US not about him.
 
Jun 2012
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I came here hoping to find answers to why I always found it so exciting to think of sharing my girlfriends/wife with another man. I'd love to come home and catch her in the act with another guy. Unlike you, marriedflirt, I don't need to be in control of the situation. She could do it and come home to tell me about it at which time I would have my way with her, or I could hide in the closet to watch her be with another guy, doing what she likes. I find this an extreme turn on. Only once did I have a girlfriend who actually did anything with another guy. After a night of partying, I didn't feel like going out to a late night restaurant so she and a male friend of mine went to eat then parked at a isolated location and she performed oral sex on him. When she told me about it the next day, I had her show me exactly what she did and tell me about it at the same time. It was the most amazing orgasm I'd ever experienced. I only needed a bit of time to recover till I had her doing it again to me. She was surprised. We had talked about it before and she knew I found it a turn on but neither of us expected just how of a turn on it was.
Sure wish we could get some input on this subject. I'm curious about why some men find this so exciting when it would seem to be such a taboo in our society.