Need to change from subtle feeling low self-esteem toward a confident winner

[BalooBagira]

When everything in your life tells you of the high capacity, when practice and every day desire to succeed is a habit, I still feel this very subtle shadow of the former low self-esteem that stops me from fully engaging into producing business plans. I am a hypnotherapist myself and I have nailed recently my own problem, coming back to when I was 4 years old. The episode that left me feeling that I do not deserve to be protected, that I am always the cause of the problem, and it was done by my mom who was my authority at this time and who I love. I have no grouches toward her, she never been taught how to be a parent. So, now, on my own I have to re-frame the past. I appreciate any suggestions of how to recreate the same episode in the past that I wish to play differently. Basically is it possible to fool one's brain into different story? Of cause so much that I have done already, including using other peoples complements to re-assure myself of being a " winner", very talented etc etc... Believe it or not this little thing bothers me and very subtly compromises my every day effort. Any thoughts on this subject?

 

[sakoz]

BalooBagira: You wrote; "The episode that left me feeling that I do not deserve.....". The way I see it, the episode did not leave you feeling, rather you left the episode with 'indelible' thought/image that functions as 'toxin' when 'activated' that evoke feelings. ("do not deserve" is a thought that evokes emotion when 'believed'.)
When you were 4 years old, were you by chance, 'afraid of the boogyman'? You stopped believing your image of 'boogyman' as real; do the same for your images of the 'episode', to 'sever' the association. Your amydala did not recognize your "believed" image of boogyman was not real, the same applies to 'any' image you believe real.

 

[BalooBagira]

Yes, thank you. "Toxin" is really a good image for me if I collect all such images and use it in hypnosis.... my trade and my tool. I love the reference to amygdala. Actually at the early age we are operated on subconscious level pretty much all the time. The more I explore back, the more i understand habit formation and the more I remember myself as a child even on the conscious level. Many things to work with. Found a good site by the way "effective mind control"

 

[sakoz]

BalooBagira: At the age of 4, did you 'know' you were conditioning yourself with beliefs that would influence your amygdala for the rest of your life: 'unless' you learned to rescind, revise, veto them. "Beliefs" are not 'hard-wired' permanantly as are instincts, as neuroplasticy now shows,

 

[BalooBagira]

Of cause I had no idea about amigdala...hahaha, and I was very rebellious so I have been trained by my mom to not to complain/cry and to resolve the conflict by myself. I grew up this way, that has both benefits and shortcomings. I agree and am working on with various degree of progress to undo the collateral damage, while appreciating the benefits. This question does not relate to my past and my present only. I research it as I am also a lab-rat to provide help to others with the tools that I have . So all this information and the reading are helpful. Conditioning is a habit-formation that could be certainly re-formed. I believe that plasticity of the brain is a key in this process. Thank you. I enjoy this newly found site on internet about Neuropsychology but could not post the link here... this site does not allow the links ;-(

 

[sakoz]

Let me 'throw this out' for your consideration. I say learning language was a conditioning process. Words associated to images,as a hypnotherapist you can tell me more than I know about that. "We are conditioned to condition ourselve". We were conditioned to learn language, and we use that language to continue/further condition ourselves. Consider Pavlovian conditioning, bell, food , salivation, etc. Requires repetition. Now we 'streamlined' conditioning.
By believing a thought-image 'is' real, our amydala reacts as it does to 'authentic' perceptions. We 'counterfeit' perceptions simply by believing some of our images are real. We're conditioned to believe, we 'subliminally' believe a thought before it even reaches awareness. (Post hypnotic suggestion?)

 

[sakoz]

(addendum to #3)
1. "...I do not deserve to be protected,..."
2. "...I am always the cause of the problem..."
3."...it was done by my mom..."
Three 'thoughts'; I may be naive, but it looks to me, that 'thought #3' indicates that thoughts 1 and 2, were 'put into your head' by your mom.
I'm curious 'how' she did that? The way you learned the multiplication tables? As bed-time stories? Or writing them out several times? Brainwashing?
If I appear 'blunt', is because your a hypnotherapist, and not a 'layperson', so I won't 'pussyfoot around' your presented 'problem'.

( that site, 'effective mind control', you mentioned, looks interesting).