Mum keeps scolding me

Jun 2020
7
0
Earth
She scolds even for little things. I understand she's going through menopause phase but that doesn't mean she will get angry at her children. And how on earth is it my fault if she has mood swings? It is very rare that i have speak back and stand up for myself. Most of the times she keeps on scoffing, scolding. I don't take her words seriously because she doesn't mean it but still i get upset at the anger and scolds. And then suddenly she changes. She speaks softly and politely and treats me as her favourite kid. But how do i cope with the scolds and anger??

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Mar 2020
206
18
US
My mom was the same way. My mom had a hormonal imbalance since she was young. She was the most frightening thing you could imagine if you were a kid. But I used her to learn how to deal with dangerous and tough situations.

My mom used to put her hands out like she was going to grab our necks. Even when we did everything she said.

When we left the house the stress of raising kids just seemed to disappear and when we visited her she was totally normal. I'm not sure there's really any rules about raising kids. Even if there were it would be an infringement to try to enforce them short of domestic violence laws.

We just did everything she said all the time. We didn't know what was wrong with her let alone how to help her fix it. She avoided psychiatry because she knew it would rip her values apart. And we didn't want that either.

I've come to learn that all flavors of conversation are just flavors. Fighting is just a flavor. Scolding and politeness are just flavors. You probably wouldn't do any good pointing out her flaw of menopause when she was angry.

You don't have to like it, but maybe you can learn how to keep yourself level in the face of extreme swinging. It will help you when you face dangerous people outside your family. But distinguish when to walk away if you can from people who might actually hurt you.

It almost seems a biological teaching mechanism that our mothers go through hormonal imbalances when we're still living with them.

Think of it as military boot camp.

If you seriously can't handle it. Plan some other living arrangement. Shell probably understand.

I'm sorry for being the only one to answer your questions. This forum is very empty and I'm typically the only one sharing my perspective. You're welcome to keep posting here. But if you want other people's perspectives you might want to try other sources as well.

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