Multiple Personality Disorder

Jul 2021
148
13
London
Almost by definition, the host does not know he has alters. Alters like to hide, because if they don't hide they are absorbed before fully forming. It works like evolution. The host is usually depressed.
I was depressed, except I didn't know I was depressed, because the host is made ignorant by the alters "nothing is wrong".
I felt almost no physical pain, almost no emotion, and almost no color in my vision.
I just thought "Yeah, I'm a tough guy."

My point is that, for me, I only discovered that ANYTHING was wrong because I got better. The dark place finally crumbled, you see. It was my old mansion. I was trapped there, in my head. As the real mansion deteriorated (from across the country, because alternate personality) my happy place turned very dark, very slowly.

The real mansion is gone, so the dark place is gone, so I am free.

I feel emotion. Happy, and sad too.
I feel physical pain.
I feel fatigue.
I feel stress.
I feel love.
I feel.
Yes, I am doing better.
That is why I noticed that I have this thing.
Healing will take a lifetime.
That is okay.
I don't know, you don't seem so terrible to me, is it bad to suffer from Multiple Personality disorder? Ok, I am sorry, but at least you can heal and I'd look forward to that. I don't really see you as so unusual tbh, but is the dark place something like depression? I had also read about this, but not in depth, and I didn't understand why they'd say it had a dominant personality. It does remind you a bit of stroke, but you seem really nice to me, so I don't really know this, however, I am sorry that you are suffering.
 
Last edited:
Aug 2021
31
20
California
I don't know, you don't seem so terrible to me, is it bad to suffer from Multiple Personality disorder? Ok, I am sorry, but at least you can heal and I'd look forward to that. I don't really see you as so unusual tbh, but is the dark place something like depression? I had also read about this, but not in depth, and I didn't understand why they'd say it had a dominant personality. It does remind you a bit of stroke, but you seem really nice to me, so I don't really know this, however, I am sorry that you are suffering.
When I was 13 I feverishly researched and mastered the ability to lucid dream. I did this so that I would have a place that was safe. A happy place. In my lucid dreams I would roam around my old mansion, but it was new, and THEY were alive. It was my method of denial. In my dreams my mother couldn't get to me, and I would go to my mansion.

In real life the mansion was coming under disrepair. For 26 years, my happy place, my lucid dreams that took place EVERY night, where they were alive, and I was home, slowly turned dark. As the real mansion decayed, so did the one in my head, where I was now trapped. I existed ONLY in lucid dreams then... except they were no longer lucid for me. They were only lucid for my host, who thought he was having recurring dreams every night. But he wasn't. That was just me.
He would wake up every morning and say, "weird. That dream again. As soon as I wake up I am no longer sad..." ..as if it was someone else. And it was. It was me.

By the end of the 26 years I had become pretty warped and twisted and confused.

The dark place was a lucid dream fueled manifestation of the place where I (this EP) was stored.
 
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