Hi:
I suspect there are a non-written code between males that says men should keep distance with other men’s girlfriends/wifes, specially between friends. For “keep distance” I mean try to not be too “nice”, outgoing, etc.
That is not an strict code because exceptions are common. For example, when the woman is not only an acquaintance/friend’s partner but also a member of the group of friends. Then, confidence exist, so men can be more natural with her. However, men’s unwritten code “bans” being too “nice”/outgoing with another men’s female partner if she is not a friend but only an acquaintance or friendship with her is very low. The code should be abided specially if the male partner of that woman is present.
As a male, I always perceived that, even when nobody tought me about the code. For example, some years ago I had a male friend whose girlfriend were absolutely outgoing with me (I had only a low friendship with her). When she talked to me with her outgoing manners and her boyfriend was present, I felt unconfortable and I tried to be polite, but not as outgoing as her (She was like “hey! What’s up?!!” and laughing everytime even if I wasn’t trying to be funny).
However, I know some women who are in my group of friends since some years ago and I can being outgoing with them despite if they have boyfriend or not, and I feel comfortable doing so. But, as I have already said, when friendship is low or she is only an acquaintance, I can’t behave myself in that way.
In sum, I feel the existence of that code in my social life, even if nobody taught it to me and I have never talked about it before this post. But I think that code exist not only because my intuition wear me to act following its rules, but also because I have seen men acting in similar ways and I guess they are following the code.
What do you think about it?
I suspect there are a non-written code between males that says men should keep distance with other men’s girlfriends/wifes, specially between friends. For “keep distance” I mean try to not be too “nice”, outgoing, etc.
That is not an strict code because exceptions are common. For example, when the woman is not only an acquaintance/friend’s partner but also a member of the group of friends. Then, confidence exist, so men can be more natural with her. However, men’s unwritten code “bans” being too “nice”/outgoing with another men’s female partner if she is not a friend but only an acquaintance or friendship with her is very low. The code should be abided specially if the male partner of that woman is present.
As a male, I always perceived that, even when nobody tought me about the code. For example, some years ago I had a male friend whose girlfriend were absolutely outgoing with me (I had only a low friendship with her). When she talked to me with her outgoing manners and her boyfriend was present, I felt unconfortable and I tried to be polite, but not as outgoing as her (She was like “hey! What’s up?!!” and laughing everytime even if I wasn’t trying to be funny).
However, I know some women who are in my group of friends since some years ago and I can being outgoing with them despite if they have boyfriend or not, and I feel comfortable doing so. But, as I have already said, when friendship is low or she is only an acquaintance, I can’t behave myself in that way.
In sum, I feel the existence of that code in my social life, even if nobody taught it to me and I have never talked about it before this post. But I think that code exist not only because my intuition wear me to act following its rules, but also because I have seen men acting in similar ways and I guess they are following the code.
What do you think about it?