Loss of interest

Mar 2020
235
19
US
I can't get myself to commit to anything that I see as stupid. Everything looks stupid to me.

Should I just start doing something and try to focus on it?

How do I start doing something that I don't care about?

Is there an obedience thing involved?

I dont know anyone who wants me to do anything for them. I'm trying not to have sex. People love me more than I'm used to and it feels like I'm taking advantage of them. I'm afraid of changing the world. There's nothing I would want to change about it. I dont love anything enough to express it as art. There's really nothing I really consider to be an example of what I am. I don't make enough money for bills. I don't want to quit my part-time job. I don't know anyone whose going to pay me to do anything for them. It would be hard not to intimidate an employer and coworkers.

Am I a big fish in a little pond?

Should I drink alcohol or try to get stupider?

Do I need more problems?

Should I just wait out life?

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