So, when I was a child, around the age of 10 or so I believe, but possibly as early as 6 years old, I experienced sexual arousal whenever I viewed someone being tied up and their mouth covered. At the time, I'm sure I didn't realize what I was feeling was arousal, but now that I am older (28) I am able to look back on it and recognize it for what it was. To be clear, these feelings came up most often when simply watching childhood movies. One that comes to mind is in Quest for Camelot when the main character, Kaylee, is tied up and thrown in the back of a carriage. Another one I remember is watching Hercules and having those feelings when Meg was tied up by Hades. I'm even fairly certain that I at one point, or a couple of times, tried to reenact that someone was tying me up and taping my mouth shut in order to cause those sexual feelings again.
I believe that I grew out of this around the age of 13 or so. Now, as an adult at the age of 28, I don't feel aroused by the idea of being tied up or gagged at all. If anything, it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not keen on allowing anyone to try this on me because the thought alone is a huge turn off and even gives me some feelings of anxiety. I always thought it was weird that I would have those thoughts and feelings as a child and I just don't get why. But I've been too embarrassed (or maybe ashamed?) to tell anyone about it, not even a therapist. As far as I'm aware, nothing happened to me to cause those feelings, but to be fair there's a lot about my childhood that I don't remember or that is quite hazy.
So, is this normal? Or is this a sign of something else?
I believe that I grew out of this around the age of 13 or so. Now, as an adult at the age of 28, I don't feel aroused by the idea of being tied up or gagged at all. If anything, it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not keen on allowing anyone to try this on me because the thought alone is a huge turn off and even gives me some feelings of anxiety. I always thought it was weird that I would have those thoughts and feelings as a child and I just don't get why. But I've been too embarrassed (or maybe ashamed?) to tell anyone about it, not even a therapist. As far as I'm aware, nothing happened to me to cause those feelings, but to be fair there's a lot about my childhood that I don't remember or that is quite hazy.
So, is this normal? Or is this a sign of something else?