I'm I addicted?

Oct 2020
Can someone explain for me, why I'm I addicted to my first crush. So I had my first, real crush at the age of 14. I've never sheared my feelings with him, because I thought my feelings was not real. Now i'am 17, I moved in another city, I started high school but I still feel strong connection with him. Like I really love to dream about him, it gives me positive energy. sometimes I have virtual connection with him. like I'am thinking about if he would be there what would he say or something. And I think I'm addicted to ideal of him, person that I created in my thoughts. He really exist, but I don't know him very well, so I think the way I think he is and the way he really is are not the same. We have talked too many times and we had like a chemistry. And during this time I've met too many boys but I can't feel the same. Even if a guy telling me that he likes me or he thinks about me, I feel absolutely nothing. So what does it means? by the way I don't stalk him because I don't have any social platforms.
Mar 2020
You feel comfortable thinking about him. There's something about him that gives you pleasure, or there's something about the idea of thinking about him that makes you feel better about yourself.

It could be that you are very loyal, a good thing. It could also be that you think he's the best. It could also mean that you have an idea of what life should look like.

Be grateful for the time you have thinking that something is superior and worth dwelling on. I seriously lack that at age 32.

My specific problem is defilement of everything based on the compounding of failures. Also hearing voices, I lack grace to attempt anything that might add to the compounding failures of my life. And I do not rise to challenges because the reward is no better than death.

The ability to have a crush can motivate you to do extraordinary things. As soon as you find yourself in a state of complete disappointment, failure, and defilement, you are a walking dead person. If I had a crush on my girlfriend right now I'd get a job.

We as a society fight to protect the ability to have a crush to keep the earth from dying. Others fight to defile all crushes to level an equal universe of prehistoric slime.

Use the power of your ability to have a crush to fuel your ambitions and exact your will. The world needs violent crushes.

Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk
  • Like
Reactions: mogobadip
Aug 2020
I wish I could respond to you. However you applied the law of opposition to good and bad and no one can argue with you that is why I want to dwell on your choices.

Do you choose, as a choice, to declare failure as a cause of death or death as a cause of failure? If you are a walking dead did you choose to be that way in order to accept your miseries?

I think choice cannot define or determine any limit to good or bad, but goals do.

If it is your goal to choose to no nourish the good of this world then by principle you will not even feel love that surrounds you.

Sent from my SM-A205F using Tapatalk
Mar 2020
I suppose youre responding to me.

Truth is I have a subconscious inclination to move to a place I don't know to be with a special someone and I'm saying good bye to life as I know it.

It's a big risk and there will be no time to relax. And I'll lose everything I've ever known.

I'm seriously considering it and I'll probably gravitate towards it naturally.

My failures have been subconsciously deliberate in order to push me into a dead to what I know state that'll force me to do this.

I've been calling the crisis line every night to figure out this is what's going on.

It's very scary and risky, but if I don't move she'll have to say good bye to her world and it'll be more difficult where I am.

From my experience if I dont make sacrifices now I'll have to make bigger sacrifices later. And we just can't go on without each other.

Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk