I'll jump right in the middle.
On personality:
Big 5:
I'm very high in agreeableness, to the point I don't stand up for myself and I get walked all over.
I'm very high in openness, to the point that it's isolating as few people that I've met are willing/able to engage in sufficiently deep, thoughtful discussion.
I'm perhaps very low in conscientiousness as at age 29 I've had 25 jobs and 8 different study attempts. But the reasons for this could perhaps be explained in other ways.
I'm somewhere in the middle on neuroticism and extraversion.
I've studied physics, maths, programming, biochemistry, personal training, business, psychology, and a smattering of other things, with limited success. I always got A's and B's until my discipline failed me and I stopped attending, resulting in F's.
If you've followed a bit of Jordan Peterson: I have what he calls the devouring mother and the absent father, which he describes as the fruedian nightmare and to which I can attest.
The 25 jobs I've had were all blue collar jobs which I found very unstimulating, but neccisary to pay bills. I'm far more skilled on a forklift than I ever wanted to be.
I was suicidal 24/7 for 12 years from age 16-28 as I flailed about miserably attempting to grapple with my situation.
I was controlled and manipulated by my mother most of my life, which I am finally starting to break free of.
I dream of being a data scientist one day and I am working towards that goal.
I currently empty shipping containers by hand for a living, which is tough physical work (sometimes I move 60 ton in a day by hand) so I am physically fit, but always exhausted and I am living pay check to pay check as my student loan takes away any excess money I have that would go towards saving.
I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to any of this or if it sparks any thoughts for anyone. It's been a challenge figuring out all this stuff on my own.
On personality:
Big 5:
I'm very high in agreeableness, to the point I don't stand up for myself and I get walked all over.
I'm very high in openness, to the point that it's isolating as few people that I've met are willing/able to engage in sufficiently deep, thoughtful discussion.
I'm perhaps very low in conscientiousness as at age 29 I've had 25 jobs and 8 different study attempts. But the reasons for this could perhaps be explained in other ways.
I'm somewhere in the middle on neuroticism and extraversion.
I've studied physics, maths, programming, biochemistry, personal training, business, psychology, and a smattering of other things, with limited success. I always got A's and B's until my discipline failed me and I stopped attending, resulting in F's.
If you've followed a bit of Jordan Peterson: I have what he calls the devouring mother and the absent father, which he describes as the fruedian nightmare and to which I can attest.
The 25 jobs I've had were all blue collar jobs which I found very unstimulating, but neccisary to pay bills. I'm far more skilled on a forklift than I ever wanted to be.
I was suicidal 24/7 for 12 years from age 16-28 as I flailed about miserably attempting to grapple with my situation.
I was controlled and manipulated by my mother most of my life, which I am finally starting to break free of.
I dream of being a data scientist one day and I am working towards that goal.
I currently empty shipping containers by hand for a living, which is tough physical work (sometimes I move 60 ton in a day by hand) so I am physically fit, but always exhausted and I am living pay check to pay check as my student loan takes away any excess money I have that would go towards saving.
I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to any of this or if it sparks any thoughts for anyone. It's been a challenge figuring out all this stuff on my own.