I Can not connect her answer with her behavior

May 2020
3
0
Italy
I am so lost at the moment. I hope that someone will notice this and answer to my problem. Maybe it will look like a teenage problem for you guys but it still bothers me too much, can't even continue with my studies.

So there is a girl ( I will call her Layla ) and i thought that she likes me because of her behavior towards me. There are many actions/situations which brought me to that conclusion, i will point out few:

1.She asked me if i have a girlfriend ( twice ) and why not and then told me that i should have asked her if she has a
boyfriend.

2.She asked me to sleep over at her apartment ( i did refuse because i thought that she was in a relationship).

3.While quarantine we were on Teamspesk with few friends and one of them asks me if i can help a girl ( from the same
university) with studies but Layla responded :" No, Leave him ( me ), ask someone else to help her".We all knew that it
wasn't about helping her with studies but more like "having fun".

All this time I was thinking "Why is she behaving like that, she has a boyfriend? Maybe she likes me and not just as friend but nah it can't be" so I tried to keep my distance and not to do anything stupid.
After a while it comes to my attention that she broke up with her boyfriend(1-2 years ago). Then i start seeing this whole situation from another perspective, that she likes me ( or so i thought).

So one day i decided to tell her that i like her but her response was totally different than i had expected to be.

Here is how the conversation went ( Not going to post everything , just that part where i tell her about my feelings):

Me: Anyway, this quarantine is so boring and since we cant do much about, i guess that we are just thinking about things, so what are you thinking about?

Her. mmm about all the missed parties hahaha

Me. Well I am thinking about you and why haven't I told you before that i like you.

Her: Stop joking (smiley face)

Me: Actually now I am not, i just can't hold it anymore.

Her: (facepalm)

Me: Why? have i done something wrong?

Her: No, you have just expressed your feelings but at the moment I am not looking for anything

Me: I get it, seems like i have misunderstood you

Her How?

Me: I have thought that you like me

Her: Unfortunately no, sorry. I was in a long relationship before.

Me: Yeah, i know, friends told me. That's why i didn't want to bother you while we were hanging out. But your behavior and your happiness towards me, drove me into thinking that you like me.

Her: I am sorry if you felt that way.

Me: Ah, isn't your fault. Did i have any chances at all with you?

Her: No because i wasn't even thinking about it

Me Yes , i understand it. Can i ask you one thing more?

Her: Sure

Me: I don't want it too look rude or impolite, really i don't but before the quarantine you did ask me twice if i had a gf, you even asked me if i wanted to sleep over.

Her: Oh have i? i don't remember it. Maybe i just asked it and didn't mean anything else ( smiley face).

Me: Okay, but i do remember it well. It is written deep down in my memory.

Her: Sorry i don't remember it at all, it must have been some kind of a joke.

Me: Don't worry isn't your fault , i just hope that i will have a chance with you.

So my questions are:

Her answer seems so illogical to me. What am i missing? am i so naive?

I can recognize a joke, I am not that stupid or am i? I don't know anymore.

Do you really ask someone TWICE if you have a partner ( and why not) and if you want to sleep over , just out of a pure joke?

Did i move too fast with whole situation? Did she lose interest in me because i kept my distance in those mentioned situations?Was i too direct ?
 
May 2020
3
0
New York
Sounds like it could be a few things. 1. She thought she liked you but turns out she got caught up in the moment and realized she didnt, and didnt know how else to tell you. 2. If you treated her well, she probably self sabotaged herself because she wants to be wanted but nice dudes finish last is real and its cause insecure girls subconsciously feel like they don’t deserve nice, and attract assholes. 3. She’s a narcissist.


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May 2020
1
0
Texas
Regardless of the reason for her behavior, it sounds like you may have dodged a bullet. Either way, her actions are dishonest, or perhaps worse (manipulative, deceptive, controlling), and probably not something you want to be involved with.

If you find yourself in this situation again, what's the worse that could happen if you were more proactive and direct (in a polite and respectful manner of course)?
 
May 2020
3
0
Italy
Regardless of the reason for her behavior, it sounds like you may have dodged a bullet. Either way, her actions are dishonest, or perhaps worse (manipulative, deceptive, controlling), and probably not something you want to be involved with.

If you find yourself in this situation again, what's the worse that could happen if you were more proactive and direct (in a polite and respectful manner of course)?
This girl wasn't and still isn't even my type of girl. Just something must have happened during quarantine and now i can't stop thinking about her. Maybe i felt bad for being so cold towards her, while she was looking/searching for my attention.
Also there was a situation when she told me to text her while she was still in a relationship ( which i didn't, then few months later she started to text me)
We share same group of friends. I just hope that there wont be any problems while partying again together.
If i would be more proactive in all those situations and actually went for it then i guess that nothing bad would have happened because she wasn't in a relationship anymore. Yet i would still ask all of my friends if that is fine with them, before doing anything.