I’m cursed

Nov 2021
4
4
Belfry
I wish I could experience one relationship, just one… I’m 24 GD years old and I’ve never experienced one relationship let alone ever been in love but yet I see people getting into them every single day with ease!!!! I’m cursed. My life is a total waste. It’s just fucking worthless.


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Jul 2021
420
51
London
I wish I could experience one relationship, just one… I’m 24 GD years old and I’ve never experienced one relationship let alone ever been in love but yet I see people getting into them every single day with ease!!!! I’m cursed. My life is a total waste. It’s just fucking worthless.


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That's unusual, I had read some stuff on schizotypals that are sort of apathetic, but even though I looked into this yesterday, I am not an expert on it, need to certainly read more about it. Yes, it is unusual never to fall in love, but it's normal after trauma. I am not sure if you had some kind of trauma that you may not recall leading to this, but that is why I think someone with more expertise on schizoid personality can help, as I really don't know much about it, and here to learn :) I think it may be connected to really early trauma, such as early infancy (usually just after birth) and to me that is a world of unknown in terms that I must study more about it. Perhaps if you can say a bit more that can help too to understand what's going on. For example these are my questions:

1) How do you know you have never been in love?
2) Has someone ever told you that your feelings were not real?
3) Why you are stating that you are cursed, your life is total waste and that you are worthless? So this can be even linked to depression if you answered the other two questions, but the thing that is atypical is the fact you said you have never been in love, as if you have never felt anything, or didn't recognise it, or don't remember whether you'd recognise any feelings? Which one is it?
 
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Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
i disagree that your life is a waste and worthless. By saying these things you negate all the effort your parents and teachers have put into you. What have you done to try to encourage bonding relationships? My wife often tells me I "you have to be a friend to be a friend". Go out and get involved in volunteering somewhere, you will meet people, which will lead to friendships, which will lead to relationships. Other areas of interest would be special interest groups where you may share mutual interests, such as dance classes, music or art classes, religious organizations, and so forth. Please do not be so hard on yourself, tomorrow is a new day, make some plans and go out and take control of it...
Good luck, and let us know how you are doing,
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
420
51
London
Personally, I don't think this is a safe space for people with real problems, as you can see it is hijacked by abusive criminals, who pretend to have mental illnesses all the time, making it hard for anyone to comment. All you can do is see a psychologist nearby, and my feeling is that you suffer from a cluster a personality disorder. It's curious how all the criminals act in the same exact way too, but what I don't get is the fascination with them, I lack that fascination, as really it is stupid behaviour, being that it doesn't allow anyone to achieve anything, and it is not acceptable in society, but it is the responsibility of the State to deal with them, not ours. We are not even paid. I'll still help, and I think it may be cluster a personality, but other than that not much I can say. :) Hope it helps nevertheless! It's kinda curious as never seen depression associated with apathy, which is why I was undecided with bipolar disorder, but bipolar disorder also has the maniac episodes and so on, which I doubt you have as you said you have pretty much been on the low too. It could also be unipolar depression, I mean, that can't be completely excluded, and simply you have had it all your life. That can happen, so it's important to see a psychologist who can tell you for sure. The other thing is in depression you generally have it comorbid with anxiety, but you don't seem to have it.
 
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