How can I deal with a toxic mother?

Dec 2021
2
2
Russia
It's really hard for me to live with her. But unfortunately I'm not ready to move away yet.

Whenever I'm at home, she will always find a reason to yell at me and insult me. For example, I woke up for school 15 mins late, and I got a huge scandal from her, she yelled at me for the whole morning saying that I'm a stupid worthless idiot and won't achieve anything in life. And that repeats almost every day. She is constantly making claims and yelling in disgusting intonation, even if the reason was insignificant or there was no reason at all. She likes spreading her bad mood on me. She also says she would be happy if I moved away right now, so she'll have more money. I'm really tired of this psychological violence. What could I do?
 
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Jul 2021
618
79
London
It's really hard for me to live with her. But unfortunately I'm not ready to move away yet.

Whenever I'm at home, she will always find a reason to yell at me and insult me. For example, I woke up for school 15 mins late, and I got a huge scandal from her, she yelled at me for the whole morning saying that I'm a stupid worthless idiot and won't achieve anything in life. And that repeats almost every day. She is constantly making claims and yelling in disgusting intonation, even if the reason was insignificant or there was no reason at all. She likes spreading her bad mood on me. She also says she would be happy if I moved away right now, so she'll have more money. I'm really tired of this psychological violence. What could I do?
It is a Russian thing it seems, because my great grandparents from my granny's side were also from Russia and Idk why they are that way, but I think HPD is common across the Russian chicks it seems lol. Idk... Yes, it's HPD, in the end is a human being, and at least isn't an evil person, just a bit not as deep as you'd like her to be, and yes, extremely frustrating. So in the end we love our parents and families and friends regardless of their imperfections, but yes, it's better to be united against psychopaths, but yes I know what you mean, you'd rather have deeper connections. You can have deeper connections with other people, still. I am a HSP and Idk how that even happened, it must be genetic, but Idk anyone else who has this. People compare with me in my family during bereavement, as I explode in emotions, and noone else feels the way I do and it's hard to explain how overwhelming it is. Yes the yelling explain that it will damage your health and her own too.

If you call that psychological violence, wait to come across, and I hope you don't, a psychopath's psychological violence, it isn't fun at all, it can lead you to suicide, the maximum you will feel with a personality disordered individual is feeling irritated and then it goes, not that it is ok, but you know, the psychopath I just can't tolerate, imagine what they do, they are disgusting. Thinking of the positives, is your mother makes you ready to deal with really crazy people as you can see mentally disabled people are difficult, but they are not evil. Psychopaths are really dangerous. But you have to meet people like you, not like your mom, just meet someone like you.
 
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Aug 2021
213
119
Austin, TX
Can you talk to her and explain how her berating behavior makes you feel? If not, seek a school counselor, religious counselor, or someone you can feel confident sharing your feelings with. Good luck, keep us posted on your progress...
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
618
79
London
I mean, I like my parents-family, however, yes, they are like everyone else, it's not like they ever spoiled me or anything, in fact it was quite the opposite, I think Russians spoil a lot more, my great grandparents were, and my granny is spoiled compared to me and others tbh and lucky her, but yeah, we deserve getting spoiled too, so I agree with you, happy holidays. I guess I am happy I didn't get spoiled maybe, even if I felt a lot of pain as I can imagine you too lol. Some people just love to have family regardless of how they are treated, I must admit I am one of those people. I don't care how imperfect someone is as long as it's family, but yes, not the same kindness towards strangers, which is ok, as strangers you don't know what they are up to, but yes, sometimes family cause trouble too, but at least you can say "you know is mentally ill", and move on, but a stranger, they could be mentally ill or they could be a psycho, so it's hard to say, and best to avoid in that regard.
 
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Dec 2021
2
2
Russia
I mean, I like my parents-family, however, yes, they are like everyone else, it's not like they ever spoiled me or anything, in fact it was quite the opposite, I think Russians spoil a lot more, my great grandparents were, and my granny is spoiled compared to me and others tbh and lucky her, but yeah, we deserve getting spoiled too, so I agree with you, happy holidays. I guess I am happy I didn't get spoiled maybe, even if I felt a lot of pain as I can imagine you too lol. Some people just love to have family regardless of how they are treated, I must admit I am one of those people. I don't care how imperfect someone is as long as it's family, but yes, not the same kindness towards strangers, which is ok, as strangers you don't know what they are up to, but yes, sometimes family cause trouble too, but at least you can say "you know is mentally ill", and move on, but a stranger, they could be mentally ill or they could be a psycho, so it's hard to say, and best to avoid in that regard.
Thanks a lot for such a clear and helpful advice!
 
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Jan 2022
1
0
Barcelona
What would interest me is your mother´s motivation to insult you?
Is she unhappy with her life and lets her anger out on you?
Or does she maybe need to feel to have power over you, knowing you don´t want to move out?
It is hard to tell, you give too little information.

It would be interesting to see her reaction, once you really leave and start a new life.
Who knows, maybe, once you are gone, your mother will change, realizing how much she misses you. Maybe.

If you want to talk in privacy, then please feel free to send me a pm. I am happy to listen to your story, if you want to share it. Maybe I can help.