How can I deal with a rejection at work and her passive-aggresive behaviour?

Nov 2021
3
2
Iran
I'm 40, she is 32, we are both introverts. At work, we were good friends. Actually I was her closest friend(although we had few communication out of work hours). Then our friendship led to a relationship. But in this process, I noticed that she is not as good as I was at communication. I talked to her and she said this is how she is, and I did not send her any message for three days. After three days I talked to her about it, and she said that In her mind, she had finished everything between us, Then I thought I can accept her miscommunication, or I can correct that and convinced her to return to our relationship(I knew I cant but I gave myself enough time to decide). after about two weeks, I noticed a little bit progress in her communication skills, but it was far from enough. In 90 percent of times, I started to chat.
I gave our relationship enough time but it was very painful for me. If I shared 100, she shared 10.
Also I saw a deep anger within her.
One day, in our meeting at work, when she was angry with another coworker, I saw that she transfers her anger towards me. I felt that the closer I get to her, the more I will receive that anger. It hurt me.
After that work meeting, I did not send her any message to her and waited for her reaction. In these 14 days, she was very passive-aggressive, and she did not send me any message, and after two weeks, we talked about it, and she again said that she ended everything in her heart after only three days. She said that she wants to be just friends, I could not accept that, and we broke up.
It hurts now.
Although she said that she had feelings for me too, I know that it was not really a good relationship without communication.

She is first born girl and she has two younger brothers, I think maybe she was afraid to fall in love and becoming emotionally dependent and then pain of breakup after a long deep love. (Like when she had lost her mother's love to her brothers or maybe a bad love experience in her youth?)

Now, my question:
She is now very passive aggressive, how can I deal with her anger?
What should I do?

Thanks in advanced
 
Last edited:
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Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
Walk away. If she has told you it is over in her heart twice, then it is probably over in her heart. Sounds like you two may not have been the best match in the first place. Chalk it up to experience. Workshop relationships are often not the best, after all, with many employers forbidding employee dating. If she is passive aggressive, you will not be able to change her, and to try without her help may hurt you both! If she is unwilling to try to change there is nothing you can do to make her change...
Best of luck,
Ivery
 
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Nov 2021
3
2
Iran
I mean, do you think it is a situation of prejudice? If so, on what background particularly.
Sometimes I think, in her behaviour , she implies that she does not like me to get warm with other girls and women at work. She doesn't like me to become closed friends with other girls. though she does not say that. I don't really flirt[of course except with her], but I get warm with many coworkers, men and women.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Usedandabused
Nov 2021
3
2
Iran
Walk away. If she has told you it is over in her heart twice, then it is probably over in her heart. Sounds like you two may not have been the best match in the first place. Chalk it up to experience. Workshop relationships are often not the best, after all, with many employers forbidding employee dating. If she is passive aggressive, you will not be able to change her, and to try without her help may hurt you both! If she is unwilling to try to change there is nothing you can do to make her change...
Best of luck,
Ivery
Do you mean I should behave like normal coworkers? like others? How should I behave?
 
Jul 2021
420
51
London
Sometimes I think, in her behaviour , she implies that she does not like me to get warm with other girls and women at work. She doesn't like me to become closed friends with other girls. though she does not say that. I don't really flirt[of course except with her], but I get warm with many coworkers, men and women.
Idk... Just keep in mind some people are good and some are not, so that is very important in life. It is great to think everyone is good, but some people are not, and it's important to keep that in mind always, it is not negative thinking but it is realistic-cautious thinking.
 
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Reactions: pejmanahmadi666
Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
The person you describe sounds like someone who is not good for your self image. Keep as far away from them as possible. I know you have to work together, but keep it professional, as if the romance had never happened. I know this will be hard for you, but you will be a better person for it...
Keep us updated, and good luck,
Ivery