High IQ - poor emotional hygiene, excessive rationalizing of emotions

Oct 2021
45
21
Czech Republic
but to say psychopaths in general are "retards" or have "low IQ"
I didn't agree with some things Usedandabused said. I would agree with you on this one!

Also that psychopaths don't feel pain both psy/phys is wrong no?

but empleat is neurologically wired to resist being calm more and more the less stimulation is given
This is difficult one, there are prob. millions of perspectives how this could be viewed! But in general: messaging of Usedandabused was like this - I think. So I understand where you are coming from! Aside: I need to be calmer in some areas, but in some more active - I think. I need to be active and be studying about my problems and exploring these issues - autopsychotherapy ctrl+f it Positive disintegration - Wikipedia I also read multiple sites about recommendations for people with OEs and gonna read book about that - once I Am better!

then there are people who naturally get worn down because their minds are neurologically wired to be highly active.
That's 100% me! School kinda worn me out, even 5 minute doing homework and I felt strong pain in my brain and drawing on my mothers arm. I need constantly novelty, which isn't good long-term for doing hard work and you also need learn uninteresting stuff along, otherwise you are not gonna masters skills etc.
EDIT: I developed negative relation to many things, I read for instance: that memory retention is greater when stuff are positive, but also during very painful events it can be greater!

I drink energy drinks (mainly monster) but its important to practice moderation.
If you knew what is inside, I need to admit, I was drinking them from time to time too much, because I have 0 self control. Literally 0!!! I am a bot!!!

Life isn't a win/lose game but one where you end up in a relatively better or worse situation based on raw circumstance and how well you avoid threats and use opportunities. You may as well consistently do the meaningless, boring bullshit that enhances your well being in the long run so you can exploit opportunities for exciting meaningless bullshit in the future.
You are speaking well! I agree! Perhaps life is not to be solved but to experienced!!!

Problem is: I Am so far gone, last couple days: I can't even make myself go to sleep, because hardcore "Bedtime Procrastination" and ultimate "Hyperbolic Discounting"!!! I rewind one 40 second part of music and listen to it even for hours :D Because people with AS don't get exhausted of that, because something how their memory works, they see it in original light all the time. I get exhausted maybe after 10 hours after 1 song :D :D :D

Back to the problem: it is actually so painful to do anything productive!!! And I Am bored as I was watching a wall whole day and because I can't do anything, which cause me to experience beauty and fully utilize my brain and then be fully immersed in my work - I feel excruciating boredom!!! And because I realize that I would have to do hard choices and it I will be bored months to years yet and there is no escape (that though alone is debilitating) and also because I will be behind. I Am so stressed about every second I wasted and yet today I Am not: only about 23%. It is so variable, it depends on my mood, what I Am thinking of. I have so many hyptheses and theories and I can't even which can be true, so it is hard to get motivation. I Am more like nothing currently and only thinking 24/7 can eliminate suffering, when I experience what i said...

1. I listen almost only (99% of times to QG - he is brilliant mixer and I like electro, because it is diverse and every time I hear something new), I was listening like 3 hours straight only to this 40 second part
and I either enjoy it, or think during it, I get best ideas when listening to music, or relaxing, or noticing timings (I have great sequential memory it seems - not sure)

But I also like classical music and recently discovered Jazz, I tried to listen to every genre that exists. I didn't prefer any genre (tho now I would prefere probably classical and Jazz, because composing raises IQ and you need to listen to that type of music to be able to compose and play it well) so I had will: I would listen only to most healthy and IQ music EVER, but because boredom I listen to existential music more, I have existential feelings reading philosophy and listening to GQ, head rushes like nothing EVER. I feel how every human being felt given what I know and think about things!!! I don't know what I wanted to say, because I have RSI and big fingers and right now I have tingling in my fingeres when I write and it is uncomfortable...

2. I liked chastus and played it when I was kid from time to time and I was also decent in Queen (I was intuitive player, never learn anything) and was like 3rd in my school in queen, but in tournament not so good, because ADHD and never practiced it before. I played chess sometimes with my grandfather, which was decent don't know how good, not very-extremely good, but decent! From time to time from boredom. But I don't enjoy chess, because it is mainly about super memory and knowing moves, I have aphantasia I couldn't remember chess positions even if I wanted. But maybe it is healthy to play it, study it, enjoy it from time to time. I sometimes try chess puzzles, but i have bad memory so I never gravitates towards chess (at least I have bad conscious memory) sometimes when I experience theta waves and I am calm and someone gives me context which excites me at the same time, I Am able to spout tons of stuff I didn't think years before... Also chess doesn't do anything, so if I would play it, only a time which is for IQ training, preferable you would do something productive and reap same benefits doign that, as playing chess, but it is hard or near to impossible to tell. SO from time to time you should play chess a moment prob. etc. I like chess puzzles to a limited point (depends on puzzles)

Right now I like only healthy lifestyle I think (except music) which bores me mostly, but I need to do that and I enjoy reading about it sometimes!

EDIT: -------------------------------------
Also what yousaid usedandabused said, I already knew most, or all I think. And I didn't take everything literaly, or I got confused about some's usedandabused points. But still usedandabused gave me good info and I appreaciated talk, that's all I got from that I think. BUt i also felt negative emotions for a time. Again now I don't want to say anything negative about "usedandabused" because I feel grateful, but it is only emotion and I don't feel any problem here really. But I get just this emotion when you attacked "usedandabused" kinda, but not really. You were rational and spoken facts. I usually drive all people away, because I Am too difficult and I meant to say this to realtion of something with all this and I forgot and when I AM in good terms with people short-term, I start feeling anxiety so I don't do something wrong, even I know there is no reason and back then: i used to evaluate this and feel mostly OK, but when I have OCD at 300 WPM, then sometimes it is easy to forget, or even long-term, because I Am not thinking about these things anymore. In recent months-years I got even OCD so strong, I felt very negative for no reason, just because it was too much! Not sure if I am explaining this correctly...

Lol and when I started reading your post: i got fantasy thought, that you are maybe high iq, or genius and you will get annoyed by me quickly and leave... Or I had even imposter syndrome - I didn't know about this long time. I Also knew about ADHD only when I was adult and about AS when I was 13, but I didn't belive it, because it is usually viewed as something wrong and people call retarded things autistic, even this phrase never bothered me much really, but when some other person could be bothered by it, it bothered me by proxy! And what I Am even talking about again :D Oh i forgot 1 think, because hwo do you continualy write with ADHD, when you need to put 1 sentecte after 1 sentect whcih relates to it, but it relates in future to something else, I don't know how to write without tautology of repeating myself and how to even write!!!

I get from your post a lot of similarity to my problem and that weren't even that many words yet, perhaps intuition, or hope (which is probably more like desire). OR I was role-playing in my mind dunno... Anyway it is really liberating when someone really gets you, even only if for short-time...

EDIT: 2 tO SLEEPING PROBLEM: I WAS THINKING I COULD TRY BIPHASIC SLEEP, SLEEP LIKE 3H 15M ONCE AND SECONDLY ANOTHER 3H 15M, BECAUSE I AM TOO BORED TO GO SLEEP BEFORE 6 AM AND IF I AM NOT TIRED AND I SHOULD PROBABLY GOT AT LEAST 0.5KM WALK EVEN IT IS EVENING, BECAUSE I DON'T KINDA FROM EXECUTIVE DISFUNTION, because it is too late, but i think this could be doable. As it is catch 22 and i need movement badly! Because I can't sleep at all otherwise from boredom 85-90%!!! Also i need to make myself to ge tout of bed, i usually lie at least another hour even if i had chest pain and couldn't breath well, or my whole body hurts and today and I lied yet like 3h ours, this shit needs to go!!! It is so tough tho. I tried 6 years to get out of this nightmare and it is getting only worse!!! Because I have also executive disfunctions ( I Am like robot, I have 0 self-control iterally) I need timers for timers, it is tough!!!
 
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Jul 2021
420
51
London
Yeah I had diagnosed vitamin d deficiency couple years back and I have no reason to suppose it changed drastically! I eat fishes 2-3 a week, but still they provide little to none of Vitamin D!!! I will get Vitamin D supplements and in summer I should try to make reserves.

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO BOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD ANNOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEED............... I AM NOT IN MOOD TO DO ANYTHING AND I CAN'T EVEN FALL ASLEEP At NIGHT, EVEN IF I GET TO BED AT 3~ AM I FALL ASLEEP AROUND 5-6... AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHOLE DAY BECAUSE MASSIVE HEADACHE, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF THIS???

I AM PROBABLY MOST BORED PERSON WHO EVER LIVED!!! NOTHING ENTERTAINS ME MORE THAN WATCHING A WALL!!! LIFE IS A PRISON FOR ME!!! AND THERE IS PROBABLY NO ESCAPE!!! I AM PRISONER IN SPACE-TIME LITERALLY, EVEN IT IS EMERGENT, WHO KNOWS HOW IT IS... THERE IS SOMETHING WORSE, I DON'T WANT REALLY TO TELL YOU AS IT IS HORRIBLE - THEY ARE WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIOUS...

EVERY SECOND IS HELL FOR ME!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW IS IT GONNA GET BETTER, BECAUSE I WILL DIE FROM BOREDOM RIGHT NOW!!!

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY 0 MOTIVATION FOR ANYTHING, IT IS: "EITHER WAY" POSSIBLY... IT IS HOPELESS THERE IS 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000...1% WE CAN CHANGE ANYTHING, BUT AGAIN THAT'S ONLY THING WE HAVE LEFT SO... THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THIS HELL......... I DO THINGS ONLY BECAUSE IT SEEMS LESS TORTURE THAN SOMETHING ELSE...

HOW TO RELAX???? MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW TO SURVIVE BOREDOM, WHILE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHOLE DAY BECAUSE CHRONIC PAIN/FATIGUE AND BOREDOM!!! EVERYTHING BORES ME TO DEATH, EVERY OPTION EVERYONE COULD DO EVER BORES ME TO HELL, IT IS LIKE CONSTANTLY BEING TORTURED!!! THIS PAIN - I DON'T EVEN!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MYSELF TO DO ANYTHING, BECAUSE I AM EXPERIENCING MOST PROFOUND BOREDOM, A NEW KIND!!! BOREST BOREDOM EVER!!! EVERYTHING IS DULL AND DISGUSTING TO ME!!! THERE IS REALLY NO WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS, IF YOU DON'T EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF, IMAGINE WORST THING POSSIBLE!!!

I HAVE TO FIND RESOLUTION 3 HOURS TO DO 5 MINUTE THING AND AFTER 3 MINUTES I STOP FROM EXTREME PAIN OF BOREDOM, THAT'S HOW I AM BORED...... AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS LEFT TO DO EXCEPT TO FORCE MYSELF SLOWLY DO PRODUCTIVE THINGS, DAMN THIS WILL BE SOOOOO PAINFUL AND IT WILL TAKE SO LONG TIME!!!
It doesn't. I eat fish every day, it is due to sun exposure, the supplements are definitely a must. :)
 
Last edited:
Jul 2021
420
51
London
I didn't agree with some things Usedandabused said. I would agree with you on this one!

Also that psychopaths don't feel pain both psy/phys is wrong no?


This is difficult one, there are prob. millions of perspectives how this could be viewed! But in general: messaging of Usedandabused was like this - I think. So I understand where you are coming from! Aside: I need to be calmer in some areas, but in some more active - I think. I need to be active and be studying about my problems and exploring these issues - autopsychotherapy ctrl+f it Positive disintegration - Wikipedia I also read multiple sites about recommendations for people with OEs and gonna read book about that - once I Am better!


That's 100% me! School kinda worn me out, even 5 minute doing homework and I felt strong pain in my brain and drawing on my mothers arm. I need constantly novelty, which isn't good long-term for doing hard work and you also need learn uninteresting stuff along, otherwise you are not gonna masters skills etc.
EDIT: I developed negative relation to many things, I read for instance: that memory retention is greater when stuff are positive, but also during very painful events it can be greater!


If you knew what is inside, I need to admit, I was drinking them from time to time too much, because I have 0 self control. Literally 0!!! I am a bot!!!


You are speaking well! I agree! Perhaps life is not to be solved but to experienced!!!

Problem is: I Am so far gone, last couple days: I can't even make myself go to sleep, because hardcore "Bedtime Procrastination" and ultimate "Hyperbolic Discounting"!!! I rewind one 40 second part of music and listen to it even for hours :D Because people with AS don't get exhausted of that, because something how their memory works, they see it in original light all the time. I get exhausted maybe after 10 hours after 1 song :D :D :D

Back to the problem: it is actually so painful to do anything productive!!! And I Am bored as I was watching a wall whole day and because I can't do anything, which cause me to experience beauty and fully utilize my brain and then be fully immersed in my work - I feel excruciating boredom!!! And because I realize that I would have to do hard choices and it I will be bored months to years yet and there is no escape (that though alone is debilitating) and also because I will be behind. I Am so stressed about every second I wasted and yet today I Am not: only about 23%. It is so variable, it depends on my mood, what I Am thinking of. I have so many hyptheses and theories and I can't even which can be true, so it is hard to get motivation. I Am more like nothing currently and only thinking 24/7 can eliminate suffering, when I experience what i said...

1. I listen almost only (99% of times to QG - he is brilliant mixer and I like electro, because it is diverse and every time I hear something new), I was listening like 3 hours straight only to this 40 second part
and I either enjoy it, or think during it, I get best ideas when listening to music, or relaxing, or noticing timings (I have great sequential memory it seems - not sure)

But I also like classical music and recently discovered Jazz, I tried to listen to every genre that exists. I didn't prefer any genre (tho now I would prefere probably classical and Jazz, because composing raises IQ and you need to listen to that type of music to be able to compose and play it well) so I had will: I would listen only to most healthy and IQ music EVER, but because boredom I listen to existential music more, I have existential feelings reading philosophy and listening to GQ, head rushes like nothing EVER. I feel how every human being felt given what I know and think about things!!! I don't know what I wanted to say, because I have RSI and big fingers and right now I have tingling in my fingeres when I write and it is uncomfortable...

2. I liked chastus and played it when I was kid from time to time and I was also decent in Queen (I was intuitive player, never learn anything) and was like 3rd in my school in queen, but in tournament not so good, because ADHD and never practiced it before. I played chess sometimes with my grandfather, which was decent don't know how good, not very-extremely good, but decent! From time to time from boredom. But I don't enjoy chess, because it is mainly about super memory and knowing moves, I have aphantasia I couldn't remember chess positions even if I wanted. But maybe it is healthy to play it, study it, enjoy it from time to time. I sometimes try chess puzzles, but i have bad memory so I never gravitates towards chess (at least I have bad conscious memory) sometimes when I experience theta waves and I am calm and someone gives me context which excites me at the same time, I Am able to spout tons of stuff I didn't think years before... Also chess doesn't do anything, so if I would play it, only a time which is for IQ training, preferable you would do something productive and reap same benefits doign that, as playing chess, but it is hard or near to impossible to tell. SO from time to time you should play chess a moment prob. etc. I like chess puzzles to a limited point (depends on puzzles)

Right now I like only healthy lifestyle I think (except music) which bores me mostly, but I need to do that and I enjoy reading about it sometimes!

EDIT: -------------------------------------
Also what yousaid usedandabused said, I already knew most, or all I think. And I didn't take everything literaly, or I got confused about some's usedandabused points. But still usedandabused gave me good info and I appreaciated talk, that's all I got from that I think. BUt i also felt negative emotions for a time. Again now I don't want to say anything negative about "usedandabused" because I feel grateful, but it is only emotion and I don't feel any problem here really. But I get just this emotion when you attacked "usedandabused" kinda, but not really. You were rational and spoken facts. I usually drive all people away, because I Am too difficult and I meant to say this to realtion of something with all this and I forgot and when I AM in good terms with people short-term, I start feeling anxiety so I don't do something wrong, even I know there is no reason and back then: i used to evaluate this and feel mostly OK, but when I have OCD at 300 WPM, then sometimes it is easy to forget, or even long-term, because I Am not thinking about these things anymore. In recent months-years I got even OCD so strong, I felt very negative for no reason, just because it was too much! Not sure if I am explaining this correctly...

I get from your post a lot of similarity to my problem and that weren't even that many words yet, perhaps intuition, or hope (which is probably more like desire). OR I was role-playing in my mind dunno... Anyway it is really liberating when someone really gets you, even only if for short-time...

EDIT: 2 tO SLEEPING PROBLEM: I WAS THINKING I COULD TRY BIPHASIC SLEEP, SLEEP LIKE 3H 15M ONCE AND SECONDLY ANOTHER 3H 15M, BECAUSE I AM TOO BORED TO GO SLEEP BEFORE 6 AM AND IF I AM NOT TIRED AND I SHOULD PROBABLY GOT AT LEAST 0.5KM WALK EVEN IT IS EVENING, BECAUSE I DON'T KINDA FROM EXECUTIVE DISFUNTION,
People with autism are suggestible and this thread proves it (comorbidity with HPD). I think I have answered to all your questions already so nothing else to add. Unfortunately I don't share the views that cybercrime or crime are in any way genius.
 
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Oct 2021
45
21
Czech Republic
People with autism are suggestible and this thread proves it (comorbidity with HPD). Unless there's anything else, I have already answered to all your questions, so nothing else for me to add, but you see how susceptible you are to even go the length of sharing the committal of a shared cybercrime, which is that of cyberstalking. Imagine then you confess to that, and the victim doesn't know what happened, you go to jail or to court, whilst the psychopath criminal walks. It's really a weird thing and that is something I cannot solve to date, the law protects people with a disability, but it gets hard when they confess to crimes that others have committed. This is where witnesses are relevant and lucky for you this is a forum, everything is written and can't be removed :). Nevertheless good luck with coming to terms with this situation. The confessions are usually due to narcissism too, as the narcissistic trait led you to helping out a psychopath, and you feel guilty. It is a dilemma and it's entirely on the victim to survive both the psychopath and the asperger's, and that is why, generally victims should avoid these kinds of situations. We HSPs can, but can anyone else? In theory I'd expect the asperger to be able to, since they have such high iqs, but it's hard to see that as the social element is missing, as you can see you quickly fell for that, it's difficult, and the pain mixed with manipulation is really toxic for you, but it's even more toxic for victims, as imagine we see things differently. But yes, these behaviours are a barrier to social growth too and that is something difficult to solve.
First thank you for answering my questions, even I had feeling you didn't read well my point sometimes (but you ahve many things on your own and you are not responsible to help me, no hard feelings :) ) sometimes I don't want to say this to people to not insult them. And I wasn't reading well, because headache, maybe I Missed that and added to confusion by not really understanding what were you saying. I also didn't care/say much about some things you said: as I was focused mainly to solve my problems, so on some I don't have opinion yet necessarily! And then usually it becomes problem later anyways if I don't let them know right away. But in total: I think you were helpful and that counts the most to me!

About Psychopaths, maybe I missed that one: but yeah psychopaths definitely feel physical & emotional pain, as they have emotions! They have reduced anxiety and fear tho! That doesn't make sense why would you say: they don't!

Have 0 idea what are you talking about now! Which shared cybercrime wtf, cyberstalking??? I don't have really HPD!!! I didn't post almost anything about this in years and I Am very introverted, I don't really seek attention! Can't think about a single thing when I think about seeking attention! But I was kinda making fun of myself sometimes in my fantasies, that this is ridiculous, maybe it kinda leaked and blended into reality! Maybe some attention would be actually nice, because isolation isn't healthy, so I imagine myself in many scenarios. But even ppl as myself I imagine: seek attention from time to time, because from extreme isolation I have need for social contact, but that are usually rubbish and I get bored from it before I even do it most of the times. I don't know how I would explain it, but I Am definitely "not" HPD*. In school I talked to 1 smart person in the room and never had really any attention most of the time. Except in elemetary school, where I was getting to conflicts often because ADHD, but I wasn't really seeking attention. Last 6 years I was pretty much isolated with my thoughts, again I can't remember as single thing where I was seeking attention. I don't even cry about these things on forums really. I wasn't posting anything years about this pretty much!!! Even on scientificforums.com I have like only 100 posts in 2.5 years and that are not new topics! Attention seeking bores me...

Imagine then you confess to that,
I wouldn't really confess to anything serious like that. FUCK THAT!!! I think you are grasping from straws, because psychopaths and this topic is important to you and you were probably hurt! And I Am last person to judge, I don't mind, I understand pain. So I don't need to argue about this.

Yeah this is not right (I Am sorry) I Am definitely not narcissistic! I know there are many more smarter people than me and I Am trying to kill my ego, if anything. Because I hate it, it is so primitive and dumb. Dull and unimaginative! Also maybe I said also something that made you think that: I even role-played ego and I was telling myself stories just not to die from boredom (which don't work anyways, only thing that works for me is ego death when experiencing pure beauty during intensive thinking) but I don't really care about that BS!!!

When I also said something about guilt, I have that feeling actually not that often. I don't feel almost guilt, because I Am convinced FW is illusion. It is not something which would drive me really. I just get anxious about it sometimes, because when I was young, I was thinking I Am annoying someone, because I didn't want to lose friendship, so I got emotions of sorts, because I was cautious, thinking about all scenarious. Also because I tend to suck energy of other people, sometimes I Am thinking about theoretical situations, which happened to other people. Also it is from existential anxiety, that you may get to some of these situations, I already imagining what would I feel ahead. I am very aware of my emotions, that's why I Am great at logic!!!

I wouldn't never confess to being guilty to something someone other done, especially, if some other person were to suffer. That is sooooooo disguting to me, like torture, I don't have words how disgusting that is! It really disgusted me to see that in movies etc.

EDIT: Waaait where I said cybercrime are genius??? I think there was a misunderstanding!!! Also to state this exactly: genius could be anything really, it hasn't to do necessarily anything with cybercrimes... Cybercrime is just a crime - but it is boring, most of some petty criminals... Cyberstalking is so low level: that I can't even understand exactly why someone would do that, I thought this existed only in movies, it makes me feel world isn't real. It is cringe-fest!
 
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Jul 2021
420
51
London
First thank you for answering my questions, even I had feeling you didn't read well my point sometimes (but you ahve many things on your own and you are not responsible to help me, no hard feelings :) ) sometimes I don't want to say this to people to not insult them. And I wasn't reading well, because headache, maybe I Missed that and added to confusion by not really understanding what were you saying. I also didn't care/say much about some things you said: as I was focused mainly to solve my problems, so on some I don't have opinion yet necessarily! And then usually it becomes problem later anyways if I don't let them know right away. But in total: I think you were helpful and that counts the most to me!

About Psychopaths, maybe I missed that one: but yeah psychopaths definitely feel physical & emotional pain, as they have emotions! They have reduced anxiety and fear tho! That doesn't make sense why would you say: they don't!

Have 0 idea what are you talking about now! Which shared cybercrime wtf, cyberstalking??? I don't have really HPD!!! I didn't post almost anything about this in years and I Am very introverted, I don't really seek attention! Can't think about a single thing when I think about seeking attention! But I was kinda making fun of myself sometimes in my fantasies, that this is ridiculous, maybe it kinda leaked and blended into reality! Maybe some attention would be actually nice, because isolation isn't healthy, so I imagine myself in many scenarios. But even ppl as myself I imagine: seek attention from time to time, because from extreme isolation I have need for social contact, but that are usually rubbish and I get bored from it before I even do it most of the times. I don't know how I would explain it, but I Am definitely "not" HPD*. In school I talked to 1 smart person in the room and never had really any attention most of the time. Except in elemetary school, where I was getting to conflicts often because ADHD, but I wasn't really seeking attention. Last 6 years I was pretty much isolated with my thoughts, again I can't remember as single thing where I was seeking attention. I don't even cry about these things on forums really. I wasn't posting anything years about this pretty much!!! Even on scientificforums.com I have like only 100 posts in 2.5 years and that are not new topics! Attention seeking bores me...


I wouldn't really confess to anything serious like that. FUCK THAT!!! I think you are grasping from straws, because psychopaths and this topic is important to you and you were probably hurt! And I Am last person to judge, I don't mind, I understand pain. So I don't need to argue about this.

Yeah this is not right (I Am sorry) I Am definitely not narcissistic! I know there are many more smarter people than me and I Am trying to kill my ego, if anything. Because I hate it, it is so primitive and dumb. Dull and unimaginative! Also maybe I said also something that made you think that: I even role-played ego and I was telling myself stories just not to die from boredom (which don't work anyways, only thing that works for me is ego death when experiencing pure beauty during intensive thinking) but I don't really care about that BS!!!

When I also said something about guilt, I have that feeling actually not that often. I don't feel almost guilt, because I Am convinced FW is illusion. It is not something which would drive me really. I just get anxious about it sometimes, because when I was young, I was thinking I Am annoying someone, because I didn't want to lose friendship, so I got emotions of sorts, because I was cautious, thinking about all scenarious. Also because I tend to suck energy of other people, sometimes I Am thinking about theoretical situations, which happened to other people. Also it is from existential anxiety, that you may get to some of these situations, I already imagining what would I feel ahead. I am very aware of my emotions, that's why I Am great at logic!!!

I wouldn't never confess to being guilty to something someone other done, especially, if some other person were to suffer. That is sooooooo disguting to me, like torture, I don't have words how disgusting that is! It really disgusted me to see that in movies etc.

EDIT: Waaait where I said cybercrime are genius??? I think there was a misunderstanding!!! Also to state this exactly: genius could be anything really, it hasn't to do necessarily anything with cybercrimes... Cybercrime is just a crime - but it is boring, most of some petty criminals... Cyberstalking is so low level: that I can't even understand exactly why someone would do that, I thought this existed only in movies, it makes me feel world isn't real. It is cringe-fest!
You said that psychopathy is genius and the psychopath was engaging in cybercrime. That is hybristophilia and I have no expertise in that kind of paraphilia either, nor it is an area of interest, is all I am saying. Good luck with your struggle though. You have your answers and what's needed so all you must do is follow the advice given to you, I nor others can do the work for you, you must put in the work, as most people who have suffered from physical, mental and other ailments have done in general. Also I doubt you would create a different username such as "333333" for attention or the boredom at all, I am not suspecting you in that regard, but yes, I have provided all the advice I had to provide already.
 
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Oct 2021
45
21
Czech Republic
You said that psychopathy is genius and the psychopath was engaging in cybercrime.
OK, but in my defense: can you please tell me the post number # where I said that? Because I Am 99.9% sure I didn't say anything like that at all!!!

Good luck with your struggle though. You have your answers and what's needed so all you must do is follow the advice given to you, I nor others can do the work for you, you must put in the work, as most people who have suffered from physical, mental and other ailments have done in general.
Yeah I know, as I explained multiple times: I always knew what to do, I don't know how to put that into practice. That is the really hard part, I Am trying unsuccessfully long time!!! Someone smart said something like this: problem is: you always know the right thing, doing that is the hard part! I essentially need to figure out how to realize hard things in my situation!
 
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Jul 2021
420
51
London
OK, but in my defense: can you please tell me the post number # where I said that? Because I Am 99.9% sure I didn't say anything like that at all!!!


Yeah I know, as I explained multiple times: I always knew what to do, I don't know how to put that into practice. That is the really hard part, I Am trying unsuccessfully long time!!! Someone smart said something like this: problem is: you always know the right thing, doing that is the hard part! I essentially need to figure out how to realize hard things in my situation!
Yes, most people are smart, even if they don't seem that way, the issue is some people who think are smart aren't that smart, but yes, sorry I have given you everything you need. A good psychotherapist can help out. :) I can't as I am not a psychotherapist.
 
Nov 2021
19
0
Location Land
Usedandabused is grossly exaggerating but its true that psychopaths tend to have a higher resistance to pain and stress. This guy wants to think of people with ASPD as subhuman because he is offended by their very existence. Its funny how someone can talk so much about a group he calls "irrelevant retards". He is obsessed with ASPD in the same way a Nazi is obsessed with Jews. It honestly makes me want to cover him in ketchup and mustard and insert him between a giant hot dog bun then ship him to the bermuda triangle.

As someone who fits all the criteria for ASPD I can assure you that we are sentient, feel pain, have emotions etc. ASPD can vary a lot though just like autism. I am one of the more rational and reasonable ones but most are stupid ass holes which can be said about humans in general lol. I have similar problems when it comes to ADHD, existential boredom and "pathological pessimism" plus I can relate to most of the things you said about morality and emotions. Sometimes there is a thin line between autism and ASPD and they are both deeply linked to ADHD.

They used to actually call autism "child psychopathy" because children with autism have trouble understanding other people's emotions and often seem entirely disinterested in others due to having hyper specific interests. Usedandabused is the type of person who would have put those autistic children in concentration camps XD. He admitted that he condones beating children for having a mental disorder and knowing him he wouldn't even be able to correctly identify which ones are low empathy, nevermind treat their deficit with his primitive methods. Practically every post he makes is more delusional and accusatory than the last. This kind of stupidity is especially dangerous in the hands of someone who thinks they are a supremely moral empath. He shouldn't be allowed anywhere near any profession where people's mental health is involved.

Something you may want to look into is food sensitivities. Many of your ailments may be due to inflammation from unidentified food reactions and allergies. One thing I would recommend is mixing different types of food together less often because things digest at different rates and require different enzymes/stomach acidity etc. It could also help you pinpoint how things affect you.

When it comes to music I gravitate towards rap, which is often stereotyped as inherently dumb or toxic but can be a number of things including highly complex and intricate. I like classical second best and various things from many other genres. As for games my current favorite is poker ( mainly no limit texas hold em'). It is a very different type of strategy game to chess because it is just as much an art as it is a science and uses many types of intelligence whereas chess is extremely "rigid", but I play chess as well.
 
Oct 2021
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Czech Republic
It honestly makes me want to cover him in ketchup and mustard and insert him between a giant hot dog bun then ship him to the bermuda triangle.
That didn't leave best impression within me at first, but some people talk like that I guess. But then you said you have ASPD, that makes perfect sense now.

Usedandabused is the type of person who would have put those autistic children in concentration camps XD.
I was assuming Usedandabused was overexaggerating, people say all kinds of things when they are angry, but he is hurt clearly! Yeah beating children is not cool, but I don't know him so I don't jump to conclusions, tho it doesn't look good! And I don't remember how he said it exactly and I am lazy to look now...

Practically every post he makes is more delusional and accusatory than the last.
Yeah he was talking about that a lot that much was clear... I tried to point some things out gently/rationally (couple times) but he didn't address them :(

supremely moral empath
Yeah maybe kinda!


Something you may want to look into is food sensitivities. Many of your ailments may be due to inflammation from unidentified food reactions and allergies. One thing I would recommend is mixing different types of food together less often because things digest at different rates and require different enzymes/stomach acidity etc. It could also help you pinpoint how things affect you.
My eating schedule is a mess, luckily I managed to go sleep only for 4 hours and now I will go at normal time and wake up like 8AM, that is the first step. Then I need manage my diet better. I have poor episodic memory and executive disfunctions and I can't control myself. And planing what to eat is difficult, because I won't have mood for that food anyways and choose something different each time :( I Am desperate!!! So difficult to realize things: I don't know what I will do :( Yeah I need more anti-inflammation food, I have probably inflammation from RSI!!!

I listened to rap when I was kid, but then I got bored of it. I only listen to Eminem sometimes... In general I listen to every genre (if it is good)! Cool song BTW!

Poker :D I hate guessing that's why I never liked Poker!

This is pretty cool, open access database allows you to search 106M papers for free! I hate paywalled publication sites! "The General Index": New tool allows you to search 107 million research papers for free
 
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