High IQ - poor emotional hygiene, excessive rationalizing of emotions

Oct 2021
45
21
Czech Republic
How would I even start? I have high IQ, Overexcitabilities (OEs) - I have high developmental potential (positive disintegration), ASD, ADHD and I Am both neurotic and have neurotic personality traits. I suffer from anxieties and I have severe depression! I have also Existential/Philosophical OCD... I Am also extreme rational person! I started to have weird philosophical considerations at 17 and at age 21 I experienced severe Existential Crisis and I suffer from profound Existential Boredom! I visited like 1 million websites in 1 year to read about 1 philosophical concept (I can't tell you about) you don't want to know anyway - it is depressing!!!

I heard that highly intelligent people tend to rationalize their emotions and understand them very well
e.g. from Evolutionary/Psychological/Social/Game Theory standpoints. But they have utterly atrocious emotional hygiene! Question is how do highly intelligent people deal with emotions, I understand them and why they are happening! While (in general) high IQ can help with e.g. negative "emotions" for example: seeing oneself more accurately - like low self-esteem. But it can work in both ways! Especially high IQ and ADHD is special kind of hell!

I just don't know exactly how to get rid of them!!! Also problem is since: I tried e.g. to suppress them and it is awhile they are happening! And by reinforcement etc. they are now strongly rooted in! It would be too complex to explain - like millions of things, not even speaking figuratively!!! So I Am not looking for personal advice per se, but rather for scientific studies, or psychology articles etc. so I can learn more about this predicament! It is ludicrous I can't even ask for help, because I don't have money to pay psychologist! It would take 1000 hours min. to explain basics, even if I optimized my speech and spoken quickly... I read both literally and figuratively about everything that exists!!! I have both macro and micro problems, and there are millions of latter...

I tried psychologist before, but talking about my problems didn't help me at all and it is way too complicated for a traditional psychologist anyways! Although I will visit one with degree in Philosophy, I tried that once and at least they could understand... Anyways Dabrowski recommends Autopsychotherapy for people with "high development potential" for this reason... But I'll need every help I can get!!! I need learn about everything that exists and even that doesn't exists (I have Need for Cognition) to experience beauty and elevate myself to another level of existence to survive (it is complicated Philosophy, geniuses escape Existential Boredom like that)! Positive disintegration - Wikipedia It is crazy! Every second feels like I would be in a war (not even joking) attacked by literally everything that exists from every angle and every permutation of it!!! Perhaps because people with OEs have hyperactive neural system and are constantly in state of fight-or-flight state, thus I have also problems with a lot of stress! While I try not to stress, but it is very difficult!!!

So how do highly intelligent people deal with emotions??? I read many articles about emotions etc. And while I know a lot, I have problems applying these solutions to my problems! As I said they are way too complex to be solved easily and too many of them, it is not even possible to solve them all/fully... I literally know most of these emotions are total nonsense and wrong and yet they are annoying me years and it was getting worse and worse awhile... I should have done with them something sooner, but I was way too ashamed and shy, because I Am programmed to survival... I have also insane OCD! While I literally in 3 days went through so much progress and I experienced cathasis, it is like 1 solved (even main one) 999 999 to go... I watched too many TV shows (because I have 6 years strong chronic pain) and I Am too emotional and sensitive person - I felt/experienced literally everything that happened to every single person that ever lived from ancient times from every possible perspective, well not really, but still it is crazy!!!!!! And I over-analyze things and get lost in tangents...

I have also various Executive Disfunctions and chronic pain and I Am chronically bored to death and I can't do anything literally ATM! Nothing entertains me more than watching a wall anyways (even if I could do anything) well that changed, I love learning and thinking, but it was like that awhile! Still not sure if I Am entertained by it, but it feels good! But because I have chronic pain past 6 years, I can't even read and I have blurred vision! I Am struggling just to survive right now... As I have nothing to do, so I experience "Hyperbolic Discouting" and even if I make progress, I always return to 0! E.g. one day I feel down and because I need to be consistently moving forward, otherwise I get to where I started, which is painful at best!! Since I didn't overcome this in almost 6 years...

And I have problem with motivation, because existential boredom, nothing motivates me. I would need someone to live in my body and control me, while I would be in hibernation and after my chronic pain is no more, I would resume control... Problem is I really need to do something and well I have strong drive now, after I evolved to a new level of existence (but again I Am motivated for the future, but not the near future!!! and my drive is never permanent, it is always shaky and questioned from every level of existence!!!) but still it is difficult at best, I can walk 1km barely and I have also RSI... This must be most annoying situation possible imaginable, I believe in principle of QM that everything which isn't forbidden by rules will happen... So absurd!!!
 
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Jul 2021
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I noticed that people with extremely high IQs, such as asperger's and people with extremely low IQs (such as psychopaths) get job opportunities, it is the ones in the middle that struggle the most... lol.

Should lie on the cv I have some disability then I'd get a great job I bet lol, as it is the law, or I should commit a crime like the psychopath or complain about my 180 iq I don't have as an asperger... lol :p

High and low iq people still complain about their great lives, :) It's curious. I think I read somewhere that decency isn't really valued nowadays, which is curious too, as you see psychopaths with support networks whilst normal people totally without. The asperger's people I saw also had support networks, it's the people in between that struggle and are abandoned a bit. You have a disability, and society protects people with disabilities, which is good-lucky too, btw I don't think QM says that.

The issue with your chronic pain is associated with the serotonin deficiency, exactly the opposite situation that the psychopath has, where they have no pain at all and excess serotonin. You should integrate dairy and chocolate and all those foods that have tryptophan in it, to compensate. I wrote an article about this in the current year, that could help out understand better, what type of foods are good for you, but this research on tryptophan deficiency in autism has been done 20 years ago the one I wrote about was about serotonin depletion in psychopaths, because they are your opposite, as they lack empathy by not being able to feel any pain ever, whether physical and certainly not psychological since their upbringing didn't modulate the problem they had. It is why with people who produce excess serotonin the disciplining is essential, whereas it is less important in autism, where communication disciplining and more of an empathetic approach could help. Anyway, there have been cures for autism for years but somehow parents of children with autism lived in societies where they wouldn't take their children to the doctor, not to mention the amount of misdiagnoses.
 
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Oct 2021
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Czech Republic
People with extremely high IQ are not likely to get jobs, because they are poor at interviews and hard to be around and they are poor team players (depends). Usually extremely high IQ people tend to have impaired social skills! So it depends which SD! Through they may get some high level job opportunities. Or they create their own company, because they prefer to do things in their own ways and hate to argue with dumb people and have problems with authority and what not...

Yeah it is called "affirmative action". There was study in Brazil, which showed how affirmative action discriminate against very students it was supposed to aid, just because they don't fall into certain categories...

Well world got much more cynical since Global Warming got mainstream and gap between poor and rich is increasing. And people are taught consumerism and materialism in the West, but happines comes from within as byproduct, if you live well! It is not something which is attained directly! Also people are moving into cities and working using their minds, so Mental Disorders are on the rise! You have concept of "Maslow Pyramid" when people need to satisfy their basic needs first, then they start to move up to spiritual ones, then they are more likely realize these things... People want to be just happy, but corporations try to aggravate them against each other to divide and rule and destroy collectivism and basic human decency e.g. individualism, capitalism is also destroying jobs and rich try to push down poor, so people are getting more miserable and cynical! There are millions of things which caused this...... Also to not forget social media and people being addicted to them, which is making them less happy, because they are used to fake standards! And they think they are less attractive they are and do stupid things online, instead go out and talk to people in person... It is probably trillion things honestly, this is just 0.00000000000000000....1 Everything is wrong, more things are wrong than right :(

Psychopaths have support networks, because they are charismatic and like to be center of attention and they try to keep people close to exploit them and fake relationships etc. So they are quite socially successful, even if they are faking it!

I Am not expert on QM, but my understanding is: e.g. one of QM interpretations like: "Many Words" where every possible permutation happens at one of these parallel universes. Or you can have one infinite universe, where every possible permutation happens at some point in time. Also matter wants to increase likelyhood of rearranging itself into most possible permutations (I read that on Sabine Hossenfelder's blog) that's Entropy, which is usually known as chaos, or disorder.

Yeah I need to seriously upgrade my diet, I was in such a terrible state and lived soo poorly! I also heard Taurin may help with autism, I didn't look into it properly yet.
 
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People with extremely high IQ are not likely to get jobs, because they are poor at interviews and hard to be around and they are poor team players (depends). Usually extremely high IQ people tend to have impaired social skills! So it depends which SD! Through they may get some high level job opportunities. Or they create their own company, because they prefer to do things in their own ways and hate to argue with dumb people and have problems with authority and what not...

Yeah it is called "affirmative action". There was study in Brazil, which showed how affirmative action discriminate against very students it was supposed to aid, just because they don't fall into certain categories...

Well world got much more cynical since Global Warming got mainstream and gap between poor and rich is increasing. And people are taught consumerism and materialism in the West, but happines comes from within as byproduct, if you live well! It is not something which is attained directly! Also people are moving into cities and working using their minds, so Mental Disorders are on the rise! You have concept of "Maslow Pyramid" when people need to satisfy their basic needs first, then they start to move up to spiritual ones, then they are more likely realize these things... People want to be just happy, but corporations try to aggravate them against each other to divide and rule and destroy collectivism and basic human decency e.g. individualism, capitalism is also destroying jobs and rich try to push down poor, so people are getting more miserable and cynical! There are millions of things which caused this...... Also to not forget social media and people being addicted to them, which is making them less happy, because they are used to fake standards! And they think they are less attractive they are and do stupid things online, instead go out and talk to people in person... It is probably trillion things honestly, this is just 0.00000000000000000....1 Everything is wrong, more things are wrong than right :(

Psychopaths have support networks, because they are charismatic and like to be center of attention and they try to keep people close to exploit them and fake relationships etc. So they are quite socially successful, even if they are faking it!

I Am not expert on QM, but my understanding is: e.g. one of QM interpretations like: "Many Words" where every possible permutation happens at one of these parallel universes. Or you can have one infinite universe, where every possible permutation happens at some point in time. Also matter wants to increase likelyhood of rearranging itself into most possible permutations (I read that on Sabine Hossenfelder's blog) that's Entropy, which is usually known as chaos, or disorder.

Yeah I need to seriously upgrade my diet, I was in such a terrible state and lived soo poorly! I also heard Taurin may help with autism, I didn't look into it properly yet.
Idk but the ones I came across all had a job even those with disabilities get jobs, I was the only one who had issues to get a job, because noone would introduce me for a postdoc, as you need to be introduced, but my same boss introduced all other people and I saw other bosses would do that too, but I wasn't lucky in that sense, it's fine and I am still applying, but I have submitted over 1000 applications, and I changed my cv several times, and yet nothing. Some claim they don't have funding, even if it is advertised that they do, which is why it's very tricky. I had my reputation temporary ruined when I became victim of organised crime, but that was cleared recently, and the situation has improved a bit, but it's only been a month and I am submitting applications just now. Anything that happened in my life prior to October was pretty much a disaster. My IQ is now 150-160 I forgot, but I think it obviously can increase, with studying and reading. Initially when I was 18 it was 136 I think so as you can see, it wasn't that high, but when you study it gets higher, likewise with every pregnancy or with your period you lose a lot of iq, so it's not so accurate.
It's again a tool and so it must be used correctly, i.e. you see some "psychopaths" sometimes carrying out iq tests on non-native speakers and that can impact the iq test too as a matter of understanding. The other thing is whether it is timed or not, HSPs generally score low on timed tests, because we panic instead of staying calm, unlike you asperger or autistic people do, therefore a non-timed IQ test would probably be the most accurate result about your knowledge and skills, so you see it is hard to make a test that can suit everyone, and I don't think you should care much about iq tests in general. Your right to employment is your right, and especially if you have a disability. I don't know anyone without a disability who doesn't have a job, all the people I trained got a postdoc and are now lecturers, only I didn't, because I am not disabled and because I didn't have someone who would introduce, I rem asking before everyone to my boss, since I was the first who graduated, and he promised me, but he never did, he did for the others though. He wouldn't even let me graduate as he had been asked not to let me graduate by organised criminals, and yet, I insisted and got graduated, but I still thank him to this day, even though it wasn't like he did really help me that much, but I did help everyone a lot, as I believed in teamwork, however it seems being selfish pays off more, but it is not my mindset, as in terms of science we achieved a lot by working together, so yes, I don't think by being competitive you can work honestly, and in science competition shouldn't have any place, unless it is competition at putting in the market some new drug for example (I should know as a pharmacologist), but still they don't. Imagine I could give a lecture about this and I should get paid, but giving them online for free, because I don't have a job, but it is natural when you don't have recommendations, so yes, I don't think talents and recommendations are related. People might get recommendations simply because they kiss a for example, but a real scientist is a true rebel lol.
You also get the narcissist who kind of disagrees with everything and yet has no clue, and so that's not a conventional rule that we can rely on. Obviously you work on your own for the most part, but it's ok to exchange what you did with other researchers, and that is teamwork. Again, if they are ethical they wouldn't steal from you but yes some people you don't know steal from you, lots of plagiarism nowadays too, so it is best to back each other up against those dishonest behaviours and even when that happened to me, I was alone, on the science front, so yes, it's not so easy without recommendations. I applied so much but noone hires me, but they have no trouble hiring psychopaths and that really makes me wonder. Then I obviously lose respect for someone who is unable to make unbiased assessments and lose interest too, and I even begin doubting them, because you ask yourself, but why they don't pick you if your work is good? Then they don't like good work, they like the psychopath, and it's really hard to take someone like that seriously too. Some say "it is envy", but even being envious can make you lose respect towards the envious individual. It's unfair always, and they do harm people with those actions, even they are unaware of it, because being unemployed is not a safe way to be, so to prevent that you have 50 plans b, but yes, it's not easy without recommendations. My plan b is working as a pharmacist, but the thing is I am not a pharmacist, but a pharmacologist. Yes I have a pharmD and a phD in something else but they are extras. Still I am a scientist and did a lot of work in that field as a teacher and researcher, so I'd like to see a reward with retribuition instead of having my chances all ruined because I don't have any back up. I mean, everyone else had recommendations, why noone recommended me, I have no idea. When I became a victim of organised crime, they all cut contact with me in the beginning.
 
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Oct 2021
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I SHOULD WARN YOU, IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT CERTAIN METAPHYSICAL THINGS LIKE FW, DON'T READ, I WENT QUITE ON A RAMBLE AT SOME PARTS, I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE YOU DEPRESSION! IT IS NOT POSSIBLE ALMOST FOR ME TO WRITE COHERENTLY I SEE SO MANY WAYS HOW TO REORGANIZE TEXT AND GET LOST INSTANTLY IN TANGENTS, I SEE FROM EVERY THING INSTANTLY ANOTHER 20 THINGS IF AT THETA WAVES AND SO ON... SORRY IT COMES NATURALLY AND I KINDA HAD TO GET THIS OUT TO MOVE TO NEW LEVEL OF EXISTENCE! I COULD WAIT AND RE-WRITE IT, BUT PROBLEM IS I AM NOT EVEN ABLE. I TRIED ONCE 8 HOUR TO REWRITE 1A4 AND COULDN'T EVEN...

READ FOR YOUR OWN DANGER! THERE ARE SOME THINGS NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD KNOW

I Am not sure what are you trying to say about getting a job, as you said: people with extremely high/low IQ have easy time getting jobs, but those in middle struggle the most. 150-160 is not middle, it is more than 99.9% of population as you know. But by your definition you could call that a broader middle. I just don't know how you meant it exactly! Also I don't know your exact situation, maybe you are an exception. Sorry to hear that you have trouble BTW, life sucks!

Yeah if you took test once, that doesn't mean that much. Since it measures IQ only at one point in time! Also in 20s your IQ is at highest! While at 18 is more like maturing (not sure). Also even IQ is correlated to academic success, and is important: it is only part of an intelligence! More factors together makes you smart: Why a high IQ doesn't mean you're smart Yeah training and healthy lifestyle is important, as environment plays even bigger role than genes! I want to make program in C++ which would calculate every permutation of substances contained in foods and than I send my blood to nutriogeneticist (to determinate best RDA) even it wasn't empirically validated yet, I need every advantage I can get and will check it again later... But it will take long time, since I have have headaches and problems with RSI! I can't even properly read, or write ATM! I need just most important basics ATM! Also learning to play at an instrument and to compose music increases IQ Study says learning a musical instrument increases your IQ by 10 percent Also figure out how to activate good genes and millions of things, we never stop learning...

Yeah my IQ is probably like only 130-145, doubt more, as I have ADHD. Also since I overdosed on Zolpidem as I had severe back pain which started to occur to me from the blue sky! I couldn't even sleep 5 days in a row and I didn't realize it was so addictive. Only 1 tablet and then when I realized that - it was already too late! It creates a problem: trouble with searching for words. I had never high verbal intelligence, but I used to talk quickly without pauses. Now I can't recall words in English, than I translate one e.g. and I knew all 20 definitions of it - it is crazy! Also it damages short-term memory and increases recall time! And experts say it decreases ability to learn! One study says: people after overdosing from Zolpidem never returned to cognitive levels before! Also it may be because it causes derealization/depersonalization, which is linked with impeded memory!

I was annoying me quite awhile since I used to have a great intelligence and great potential. But now I don't care, while I care at the same time (I will explain later). My IQ dropped literally about 50% immediately after that! It improved slightly, but still I have problems to this day and persisting adverse effects! I had great reserves, so it is not as bad as it could have been for person of average IQ, but I also lived unhealthy long time and eaten poorly and multi-tasked a lot and didn't sleep well and what not. I used to remember like 30 sentences when I heard them, not in exact order with couple mistakes. Or read 4 pages of scientific maganize I did no understand as a kid and remember every fact, which is like 4-11% of actual text. Or to learn at high school quarter test from language 5 minutes before exam, 1x A4 of weird poem terms and from flash card of some student and I got A- best from class, which is not really impressive, but decent! Or we had 2 hours for 15 minute work, I did it in 5. I also beaten in Chess 150IQ guy, which learned 6 languages at the same time and he was very fast and one 130 after that, which could be luck. I didn't played it and he also didn't. Or I was beating one 140IQ guy in tick-tack-toe and one 126 repeatedly, sometimes I would lose to that 140.

So after Zolpidem, I didn't help it with unhealthy lifestyle, because I wanted to kill myself... I had problem to remember even 1 sentence in 15 minutes WTF??? It wasn't even that long from now, while I started doing really hard and smart work and improved a lot and I Am forced to live anyways, suicide doesn't do anything... Even maybe have motivation (when I learn and experience ego death and pure beauty)!

It is sad: I literally knew since I was kid 10 000 healthy lifestyle rules and I wanted to maintain them (lol I would think like Goether: smart men committs no minor blunders) WTF? I Am literally AI on permutations, not even kidding :D But because I have ADHD: I can't literally focus on anything which doesn't interest me and entertain me! Otherwise I have strong pain in brain! But then hyperfocus is out of control, I Am working on 150% and focus greatly! But it is tough to tap in into it, it is double edged sword! Something I need to figure out. I think, when I get rid of chronic pain and start doing real things, interest will come, so I need to be patient and kind to myself!

lol i RAN INTO CHARACTER LIMIT! TO BE CONTINUED...
 
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Yeah I never stay calm, I used to be obsessed with IQ and geniuses and it also interested me. To address this I have to explain something first:
  • I have also higher RQ, than IQ I think, as I Am near a superrational thinker - as people with ASD don't factor emotions into their reasoning - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... nd%20anger not decision-maker tho, because everyone (even most logical person) decides by emotions at the end Decisions are largely emotional, not logical
  • I have aphantasia (no mind's eye) and almost no imagination (which are 2 separate things) therefore I Am excellent at logical thinking https://iai.tv/articles/why-humans-are-the-most-irrational-animals-auid-1239&utm_source=reddit&_auid=2020
  • I have bad long-term memory, but great working memory/sequential memory, so I need to re-invent everything from 0, as I forget a lot! This article explains: the more you know the more you are vulnerable to cognitive bias: Why humans find it so hard to let go of false beliefs | Aeon Essays Also because we tend to automatically accept things, which are consistent with our pre-existent believes: https://topanswers.net/your-beliefs-are-much-harder-to-justify-than-you-think/ I try to question everything from 0, I love being heavily criticized (you are teaching me for free) I Am open to possibilities.
  • I Am very sensitive & emotional person and I Am aware of my emotions well
    - you need to be aware of your emotions so they don't hijack your logical thinking process
  • I Am great at logical, critical, rational, analytical thinking and logical creativity Why a high IQ doesn't mean you're smart
  • I read like million of articles (probably I visited million judging from history, but read fully only like 100 000~, because I had already headaches and I couldn't even read at that point) about Free Will in one year, after I had existential crisis and weird philosophical considerations, so yeah I Am good at Philosophy
  • Most importantly: I know soo much, that I know - I know nothing! Plato I Am paraphrasing: "perhaps most rational person is the one, who acknowledges that he knows nothing". We can't prove, or disprove anything, as everything is based on some assumption! Except: "I think therefore I Am" and even about that I Am not entirely sure!
  • I Am great at strategical thinking and very perceptive
  • I don't even feel like human anymore, but emergent property of particles interacting with each other, which obey physical laws and like flow of information.
To continue... Neocortex is subservient to limbic system - from the first point above (even most logical thinker decides at the end by emotions)! I Am so rational it is crazy! Since I had existential crisis and I wanted to kill myself a long time, it started back-then and was getting worse. It is like my limbic system was trying to convince me to stay alive! I read a lot about Psychology, genes, evolution and so on and so on, it would take year to explain... Also I have some emotion and I rationalize it and I try not to suppress it (I was doing this before pathologically, even i shouldn't!) but it still bothers me. Problem is some of mine emotions are hardly solvable, at least ATM. Now I Am dealing literally with just bare survival: diet and exercise... I'll probably figure it out quickly, but I need to talk about it and not give fuck. I still feel shame, which is most potent of human emotions, as emotions are evolutionary regulations for survival and feedback loops...

I went on a ramble, but it was relevant, it can be much worse trust me :D Oh yeah now I recalled I can't almost write, because to every thing you say, I can see 20 things, if I Am calm on theta waves and I can sub-consciously recall things I didn't think years about (you are supposed to solve problems sub-consciously BTW)! Oh my god oh my god, when there is this rush, it is most beautiful thing in the world!!! Oh yeah I was talking about IQ test, BTW I shouldn't write so much, because it is uncomfortable I have RSI and I get tingling in my fingers... I was overdoing being on computer soo much, which was stupid...

Oh yeah to that IQ testing. I tried one online mensa when I was kid, which isn't that accurate obviously and I had only 126, but it is capped only to 30 questions. I was anxious, because I wanted to have obviously high score. I literally forgot right answer like 3 times and couldn't focus. Probably because overexcitabilities. I Am very sensitive emotional person and my strongest overexcitabilities are emotional I think! Oh yeah so to put that into context of neocortex vs limbic system:

My neocortex was like: why to be anxious so? It is just online IQ test for fun, it doesn't mean that much. It is only 1 time snapshot of IQ. I don't even care that much TBH.

But my limbic system: is going crazy and I felt anxiety, so I couldn't focus!

It is literally most stupidest thing ever that could happen to anyone. I don't even care that is the thing, but I Am tortured by these emotions. I noticed while I Am not emotional and calm my performance increases a lot! I could be so much more. Same achievement is an illusion, as FW is illusion... Even I destroyed my ego a lot. I need to experience beauty and be learning 24/7 to completely get rid of ego for the times! But that won't be any time soon!

And it is also annoying, because my neocortex has strong need to speak the truth. I have OCD about anxiety, self-respect and shame etc. And I have to consider perspectives of every person could view me, so I always need to evaluate these emotions to true facts, because I hate incorrect facts!!! But it is doesn't help and it is painful at best! I just want to speak the truth as I Am truth teller :D :D :D But emotions get into the way!!! It is not even pain, it is torture honestly!

Yeah you shouldn't care about IQ, if you score like 140+ it probably means something, but still it is only small part of intelligence and brain is most-complex object in the universe. There is absolute no way to tell accurately who would perform better in real life word. IQ 129 vs 150 etc. Please save me from emotions, I have emotions they are dumb, although admittedly: they are great source of creativity! Particularly boredom, I Am more bored than prisoners in max. no kidding!

Yeah also that is the another thing: faster doesn't mean necessarily smarter! I read on history.com Einstein was considered slow by Neumann and he took awhile to think before he would give an answer! You need to work slow, smarter and improve naturally and enjoy it, then it works best IMHO!

Yeah fuck criminal scum! Hackers get abused a lot by organized crime I think, as they are caught in it as kids, before they have real world experiences.

I read: it is best to work alone and after you think about your idea enough to share your thoughts with others, if you rely too much on group that reduces intelligence. Selfish maybe works for maximing your new wealth, or pleasure etc. but you still need people to be better of, if other people around you do better so do you!

Hahaha that's science game, to gain prestige and reputation meh. I read study that there is still elitism in MAth and people which deserve promotion are not getting to right places. Maybe you would be surprised: science is largely social thing. You need reputation to publish and there can be a lot of hate and envy and jealosy and what not. Afterall scientists are people like everyone else... Also Nobel Prizes are so funny, penicilin was literal coinflipp. Everything is pre-determined by initial state of the universe, or random. It is not like someone chosen his environment, or genes. Achievement is mere illusion, you did nothing literally!

Another thing competitive capitalism destroys jobs and cause burnouts and rat-race and decreases human decency! Look at workplace at Blizzard, or Valve LOL as random example... Productivity is emphasized against anything else!

Yeah today structure is built to obey and to be servile, people which go on vacation with boses get promoted ratherthan that other guy, or based on appearance LUL! Our system is literally 30 IQ... There are trillion things on billion wrong and maybe 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000...1 right.......

Yeah it is problem in our system Psychopaths, or corrupted people are striving and getting to places of power. While intelligent people avoid politics...

True talented people/geniuses are not getting their talents utilized in our modern society, everything is PC and just so wrong... We are living again in feudal society... I don't even...
 
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Oh and to that calm under pressure, it is weird thing, I once got caught in strong waves, they pulled red flag after that. I was completely stuck i a place, but people with ASD take a moment to think in life-treatening situations and then choose best course of action... So I observed I can swim when I Am in wave and I could move forward, otherwise I would die maybe... LOL this doesn't cause me anxiety, but than some dumb emotion like doing on IQ test, which doesn't even mean anything. I have this to this day, as I Am anxious, if I perform poorly. Honestly I was obsessed with my IQ a lot. I wanted to be smartest person in the world as a kid, as I watched Stargate Atlantis and I got inspired by Rodney MC May - he is so funny!

But I Am near superration thinker! That's why I didn't say hyperrational, as rationality is only limited human tool, based on assumptions about reality! Therefore not objectively epistemology absolute tool to getting to truth. And I also know a lot. Because I Am that smart, I know I Am not that smart obviously... There are more superior human beings in the world! I even had depression about that at 1 point. I had depression from many caused, as I am programmed to survival and Philosophize too much! Evolutionary approaches to depression - Wikipedia

Also I was bored from all reasons Philosophers philosophized about, before I read about them. I literally was trying every counter to boredom and nothing helped. Until I evolved to new level of existence Positive disintegration - Wikipedia I would be probably like on 3 now, but there is vertical conflict all the time between all 5. Even this wasn't empiricalky validated, everything from there I was doing, before I ever read that. I only found about overexcitabilities recently and also too late about ADHD and ASD relatively soon at 13, but I didn't want to believe it, because it is viewed as bad :( I Am almost superadjusted to survival, not quite!!! Man if I had IQ 200+ that would be scary actually!!! That is ego death when thinking and experiencing pure beauty, as Schopnehauer says: that's how geniuses deal with meaninglessness and boredom! Also asketism, denying insatiable will which dispose of desires!!!

LOOOOOOOL I think all talented/brilliant people should know each other to exchange info, do you know how fast world would progress. Problem is some very smart people don't like idea, that there are more intelligent people that them and still fall prey to emotions, as I did.

PS: i will your account in bookmarks, so I can send you that food program in the future, and we can exchange info :D There are not many smart people which are easy to communicate with, so we value close friendships! In school I always found one guy which was making sense and what do you know IQ 130, while other people seemed weird, I didn't understand what they were doing...
 
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I SHOULD WARN YOU, IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT CERTAIN METAPHYSICAL THINGS LIKE FW, DON'T READ, I WENT QUITE ON A RAMBLE AT SOME PARTS, I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE YOU DEPRESSION! IT IS NOT POSSIBLE ALMOST FOR ME TO WRITE COHERENTLY I SEE SO MANY WAYS HOW TO REORGANIZE TEXT AND GET LOST INSTANTLY IN TANGENTS, I SEE FROM EVERY THING INSTANTLY ANOTHER 20 THINGS IF AT THETA WAVES AND SO ON... SORRY IT COMES NATURALLY AND I KINDA HAD TO GET THIS OUT TO MOVE TO NEW LEVEL OF EXISTENCE! I COULD WAIT AND RE-WRITE IT, BUT PROBLEM IS I AM NOT EVEN ABLE. I TRIED ONCE 8 HOUR TO REWRITE 1A4 AND COULDN'T EVEN...

READ FOR YOUR OWN DANGER! THERE ARE SOME THINGS NO HUMAN BEING SHOULD KNOW

I Am not sure what are you trying to say about getting a job, as you said: people with extremely high/low IQ have easy time getting jobs, but those in middle struggle the most. 150-160 is not middle, it is more than 99.9% of population as you know. But by your definition you could call that a broader middle. I just don't know how you meant it exactly! Also I don't know your exact situation, maybe you are an exception. Sorry to hear that you have trouble BTW, life sucks!

Yeah if you took test once, that doesn't mean that much. Since it measures IQ only at one point in time! Also in 20s your IQ is at highest! While at 18 is more like maturing (not sure). Also even IQ is correlated to academic success, and is important: it is only part of an intelligence! More factors together makes you smart: Why a high IQ doesn't mean you're smart Yeah training and healthy lifestyle is important, as environment plays even bigger role than genes! I want to make program in C++ which would calculate every permutation of substances contained in foods and than I send my blood to nutriogeneticist (to determinate best RDA) even it wasn't empirically validated yet, I need every advantage I can get and will check it again later... But it will take long time, since I have have headaches and problems with RSI! I can't even properly read, or write ATM! I need just most important basics ATM! Also learning to play at an instrument and to compose music increases IQ Study says learning a musical instrument increases your IQ by 10 percent Also figure out how to activate good genes and millions of things, we never stop learning...

Yeah my IQ is probably like only 130-145, doubt more, as I have ADHD. Also since I overdosed on Zolpidem as I had severe back pain which started to occur to me from the blue sky! I couldn't even sleep 5 days in a row and I didn't realize it was so addictive. Only 1 tablet and then when I realized that - it was already too late! It creates a problem: trouble with searching for words. I had never high verbal intelligence, but I used to talk quickly without pauses. Now I can't recall words in English, than I translate one e.g. and I knew all 20 definitions of it - it is crazy! Also it damages short-term memory and increases recall time! And experts say it decreases ability to learn! One study says: people after overdosing from Zolpidem never returned to cognitive levels before! Also it may be because it causes derealization/depersonalization, which is linked with impeded memory!

I was annoying me quite awhile since I used to have a great intelligence and great potential. But now I don't care, while I care at the same time (I will explain later). My IQ dropped literally about 50% immediately after that! It improved slightly, but still I have problems to this day and persisting adverse effects! I had great reserves, so it is not as bad as it could have been for person of average IQ, but I also lived unhealthy long time and eaten poorly and multi-tasked a lot and didn't sleep well and what not. I used to remember like 30 sentences when I heard them, not in exact order with couple mistakes. Or read 4 pages of scientific maganize I did no understand as a kid and remember every fact, which is like 4-11% of actual text. Or to learn at high school quarter test from language 5 minutes before exam, 1x A4 of weird poem terms and from flash card of some student and I got A- best from class, which is not really impressive, but decent! Or we had 2 hours for 15 minute work, I did it in 5. I also beaten in Chess 150IQ guy, which learned 6 languages at the same time and he was very fast and one 130 after that, which could be luck. I didn't played it and he also didn't. Or I was beating one 140IQ guy in tick-tack-toe and one 126 repeatedly, sometimes I would lose to that 140.

So after Zolpidem, I didn't help it with unhealthy lifestyle, because I wanted to kill myself... I had problem to remember even 1 sentence in 15 minutes WTF??? It wasn't even that long from now, while I started doing really hard and smart work and improved a lot and I Am forced to live anyways, suicide doesn't do anything... Even maybe have motivation (when I learn and experience ego death and pure beauty)!

It is sad: I literally knew since I was kid 10 000 healthy lifestyle rules and I wanted to maintain them (lol I would think like Goether: smart men committs no minor blunders) WTF? I Am literally AI on permutations, not even kidding :D But because I have ADHD: I can't literally focus on anything which doesn't interest me and entertain me! Otherwise I have strong pain in brain! But then hyperfocus is out of control, I Am working on 150% and focus greatly! But it is tough to tap in into it, it is double edged sword! Something I need to figure out. I think, when I get rid of chronic pain and start doing real things, interest will come, so I need to be patient and kind to myself!

lol i RAN INTO CHARACTER LIMIT! TO BE CONTINUED...
Idk my first IQ test was timed was accurate and it was 136 as I did it in school and it is average, obviously when you go on studying you become more clever, it's just a fact of life. It isn't higher than the majority of people, as Asperger's (now called high functioning autism as it doesn't exist as a term in psychology anymore) get it as high as 180 at the age of 18. So it's not completely true, maybe that, as the more experience you get, the more your IQ increases, so yes, Idk really, but I guess someone that young having it so high yes, then it can be interpreted that way; of course at a certain age we begin to degenerate as you begin growing older, but to prevent that, health should be put first and using your brain, not to the extent of exhaustion but occasionally relaxing and doing some brain exercises with those apps certainly helps.

I have done some programming, so maybe I can advise on that, but generally I'd advise on learning fortran instead of C++, with C++ debugging is pretty tricky and you sometimes don't find the bugs easily, whereas with fortran it is more immediate. So I feel like fortran is better to learn at first, because I started with C++, but I do think fortran is more effective, and is better for debugging as it teaches you where you are wrong exactly, I actually even prefer other programs than these two, because they are simpler, and life should be simple lol.

Well, Idk, but I did have a student that I tutored with Asperger's (high functioning autism), I dated one in the past (without knowing) and have a couple in the family. It usually can be comorbid with OCD, HPD and even BPD or PPD.
There is one who claims to have NPD, Idk if I understand that tbh. Yes I have heard of this ADHD thing too, and I couldn't imagine one with both as I have never seen one with both, and couldn't understand how that wpuld be possible, but I have seen history of ADHD also associated with BPD.

Exactly drug abuse does decrease intellectual performance and also causes cognitive decline, zolpidem is not a pain killer though, it is a sleep inducer, for back pain you must get vitamin d. That looks like an addiction issue.

It's really not so much fun being a highly sensitive person, and I think in Asperger you are much happier because you avoid thinking about social situations that are negative, but I am not so sure about that, as I do think Asperger people tend to hide how they feel. :)

I read pets are good for asperger people, especially cats.
 
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I edited post, forget something...
asterisk means edit *


Yeah I know ASD doesn't exist anymore, I Am yet used to it.
It isn't higher than the majority of people, as Asperger's (now called high functioning autism as it doesn't exist as a term in psychology anymore) get it as high as 180 at the age of 18
To what do you refer by: "it isn't higher than the majority of people"?
Yeah people with ASD have much higher occurrences for high IQ than neurotypicals.
What is not completely true?

Yeah definitely, learning is needed to expand our talents through life, you still need genes and environment tho!

I already started C++ tiny bit, since I Am trying to do something. I don't know, is Fortran used for programming QM computers, or AI? I Am not sure, if I will be able to learn something like that, as I did play only games until my 21 and didn't learn anything literally in my life until existential crisis! I know it would be probably easier to learn something else at first, then C++. I just have distaste to learn something I don't need. I understand logic, but I get tripped by poor manual, or the learning style. They don't given examples what to do, but only learn informally about how to program, but not what to program. Some C++ programmer writes about this on his blog, that this is supposedly even widespread issue in industry. But it is ought to be similar in other areas like music as well. I just need to take inspiration from some existing programs, problem is I don't know yet some concept from that, even if I know 80% I get tripped by 2-3 things I don't know and it is tough to find that sometimes. It requires good mood, focus and perserverance, I get frustrated, because often it is poor use of language, or manuals, while from somewhere else I get it quickly! I need to get healthy first anyways, no way in this state it would be productive to even attempt this. But I will start from short bursts, once I get better! But I heard average Physics IQ is like 130, so with hard work it should be fine! I Am great at logic, but not at Math. Math is also logical, although thing I hate is that it has bad definitions which are misleading, depends who wrote it, but still... Also it is used as tool for certain thing developed by people, it is not always purely logical, or intuitive, which used to trigger me a lot. Main problem is that I started to hate math as a kid, because teachers didn't explain why is something as it is! I Am learner that needs to grasp meaning to remember!!! Also it should be related to basics (to strong base) Elon Musk says, or you should think where you could use it and use it in practice, so it will entrench in neural pathways! School makes you dumb, also they teached us bad reading habits :/

Tesla said something like*: mathematicians devise something which has no relations to reality. I always want to apply my knowledge and I Am very strategical. I used to play RTS games from 7 years old and I like to improve and I liked to compete in them, which I shouldn't have done, multi-tasking is not healthy, but I was in pain and nothing else to do, so I lost time, it was worst thing I couldn't do literally whatever...

HAHA OCD I have very much! HPD as well, BPD too xD PPD I had* artificialy shortly from Zolpidem, but I Am too rational. I have sometime paranoid thoughts little bit, but I used them only for base for another evaluation and postulates and what not, tho it can be annoying sometimes. I Am extremely anxious and I have strong fear, because I know about worst things EVER!

Yeah Zolpidem, I didn't even know what it was exactly at that time, I couldn't sleep and than it was too late. It is 6 years I don't take it anymore*. Unfortunately I was also taking Quetiapine years, after that when I couldn't sleep... Which is also unhealthy and my dumb psychiatrist didn't warn me that it is not suitable for long-term usage and I was suicidal and didn't care about anything at that point! But that is done now, I still take only 1 25 mg tablet and I Am trying to get rid of it ASAP! But pharmacologist told me, that it is better than not to sleep whole night, as I tried to get off it completely, but I couldn't sleep at all*! Because I have rebound insomnia without it, I can't sleep at all! I have also stress induced insomnia, honestly I have insomnia from every reason one could have it, it is ridiculous I don't even :D I Am working on all of them! But it is tough, it will stil ltake a while. I can walk barealy 1km and even than I can't read rest of the day and have nerve pain!

Yeah not even sure about that. I thought literally about every permutation one could get into, I saw 10 th thousands of TV shows and I analyze them. I experienced almost everything from every point of view - but still so many things I don't know. I Am great at finding truth and verifying empirical facts, but you need to give me something to work with, sometimes I have no idea what some situations mean. Tho I Am also not focusing anymore on them and think on different things, because, if I could I wouldn't watch any TV show ever for rest of my life, it bores me to death at this point!

Also I don't like when I see what people do to each other and get philosophical and moral relativism and what not and every emotions that exists etc.

I had cat on countryside, but I read you can catch parasite from it. It would be too late by now, I petted it too much. There is something about cureness, we want literally hug our pets to death! There is this urge and also I have ADHD, so poor poor kitty. Also I was chasing it sometimes for fun, too much sometimes - shouldn't have done that, but I also didn't like it was chasing mice and played with them - who knows, it was mostly dumb things. I wouldn't hurt a fly intentionally, but sometimes maybe overdid it. It was blinking on me, so it wanted to be friends and we played a lot, it jumped for ham etc.

I Am way way too emotional, sometimes I even felt guilty about killing flies. Later I found they don't feel pain, but still. Also it is even worse for me, because I know my empathy isn't authentic, it is illusion. Everything simply is. There is no right, so far we can prove! You would have to deny our observations and say we are hallucinating honestly to claim otherwise*. That's why I need to learn, learn, learn 24/7 to find answers to these questions and to evolve and to escape Existential Boredom!

* yeah it is not fun at all, i read many articles about that and it is absolutely true! Higher the IQ you are able to understand your emotions better, but also see more negative things about yourself, people, around you and the world. Primarily: anxiety, fear and constant stress is the issue. Or talented kids are told they are smart and they want to maintain this mark and if they don't live up to expectations, they get criticized, or they are afraid to do any mistakes to evolve! It is like every permutation of everything that exists literally - not even kidding...

I have probably like 30 mental disorders (including emotional problems and what not) LOL, I use them for creativity and some it is like: I almost call on-demand, when I think, it just happens. Some don't bother me and give me creativity! Some are annoying , I need to fix, or reduce. Mental disorders are great, you should get some :D But only in mild form they are beneficial usually!!!

I edited post, forget something...
 
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Jul 2021
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Yeah I never stay calm, I used to be obsessed with IQ and geniuses and it also interested me. To address this I have to explain something first:
  • I have also higher RQ, than IQ I think, as I Am near a superrational thinker - as people with ASD don't factor emotions into their reasoning - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl ... nd%20anger not decision-maker tho, because everyone (even most logical person) decides by emotions at the end Decisions are largely emotional, not logical
  • I have aphantasia (no mind's eye) and almost no imagination (which are 2 separate things) therefore I Am excellent at logical thinking https://iai.tv/articles/why-humans-are-the-most-irrational-animals-auid-1239&utm_source=reddit&_auid=2020
  • I have bad long-term memory, but great working memory/sequential memory, so I need to re-invent everything from 0, as I forget a lot! This article explains: the more you know the more you are vulnerable to cognitive bias: Why humans find it so hard to let go of false beliefs | Aeon Essays Also because we tend to automatically accept things, which are consistent with our pre-existent believes: https://topanswers.net/your-beliefs-are-much-harder-to-justify-than-you-think/ I try to question everything from 0, I love being heavily criticized (you are teaching me for free) I Am open to possibilities.
  • I Am very sensitive & emotional person and I Am aware of my emotions well
    - you need to be aware of your emotions so they don't hijack your logical thinking process
  • I Am great at logical, critical, rational, analytical thinking and logical creativity Why a high IQ doesn't mean you're smart
  • I read like million of articles (probably I visited million judging from history, but read fully only like 100 000~, because I had already headaches and I couldn't even read at that point) about Free Will in one year, after I had existential crisis and weird philosophical considerations, so yeah I Am good at Philosophy
  • Most importantly: I know soo much, that I know - I know nothing! Plato I Am paraphrasing: "perhaps most rational person is the one, who acknowledges that he knows nothing". We can't prove, or disprove anything, as everything is based on some assumption! Except: "I think therefore I Am" and even about that I Am not entirely sure!
  • I Am great at strategical thinking and very perceptive
  • I don't even feel like human anymore, but emergent property of particles interacting with each other, which obey physical laws and like flow of information.
To continue... Neocortex is subservient to limbic system - from the first point above (even most logical thinker decides at the end by emotions)! I Am so rational it is crazy! Since I had existential crisis and I wanted to kill myself a long time, it started back-then and was getting worse. It is like my limbic system was trying to convince me to stay alive! I read a lot about Psychology, genes, evolution and so on and so on, it would take year to explain... Also I have some emotion and I rationalize it and I try not to suppress it (I was doing this before pathologically, even i shouldn't!) but it still bothers me. Problem is some of mine emotions are hardly solvable, at least ATM. Now I Am dealing literally with just bare survival: diet and exercise... I'll probably figure it out quickly, but I need to talk about it and not give fuck. I still feel shame, which is most potent of human emotions, as emotions are evolutionary regulations for survival and feedback loops...

I went on a ramble, but it was relevant, it can be much worse trust me :D Oh yeah now I recalled I can't almost write, because to every thing you say, I can see 20 things, if I Am calm on theta waves and I can sub-consciously recall things I didn't think years about (you are supposed to solve problems sub-consciously BTW)! Oh my god oh my god, when there is this rush, it is most beautiful thing in the world!!! Oh yeah I was talking about IQ test, BTW I shouldn't write so much, because it is uncomfortable I have RSI and I get tingling in my fingers... I was overdoing being on computer soo much, which was stupid...

Oh yeah to that IQ testing. I tried one online mensa when I was kid, which isn't that accurate obviously and I had only 126, but it is capped only to 30 questions. I was anxious, because I wanted to have obviously high score. I literally forgot right answer like 3 times and couldn't focus. Probably because overexcitabilities. I Am very sensitive emotional person and my strongest over
Idk, yes it is a bit different by High Sensitivity, I wouldn't know how to explain high sensitivity to you, tbh. :) As it's just a personality trait.

Hmm... hacking is not good as it's another form of organised crime, but yes, autistic people are often victims of them, as they might get manipulated, being that you struggle with social situations? Is that right? And I think it's hard for you to understand social situations, and for me explaining such complex things is not very easy either, as I do see also speaking with other asperger's they struggle with understanding what I mean and I always must repeat, it's just out of your control, as once you are in the presence of the psychopath you just can't resist their manipulation tactics, the psychopath has charm and that might draw you in, even if you may hate to admit it, and you might end up doing things without knowing and getting used.

We HSPs have a different type of creativity which is more artistic than mathematical, but we might be good with abstract concepts such as abstract mathematics (i.e. I was very good with calculus, but terrible at algebra and euclidean geometry as I guess it is the sensitivity to the use that calculus has in terms of contribution far more than euclidean geometry, which hasn't that much of a contribution and is more concrete). So we understand abstract better than concrete, even if we look for concrete applications, but yes the asperger's brain is more into concrete things, and that is why timed tests are not ideal for us, but yes, we are really average smart, and not geniuses either. I think asperger is considered genius more. Social intelligence is very high in we hsps which is why we should be a threat to the psychopath (I was told, Idk, but yes I do reckon situations very quickly, i.e. behind closed doors kinda situations), but still they target us as they don't see us as capable of taking them down, it is the big ego that harms the psychopath, as they tend to dig their own graves and also their fear of getting caught. Idk if an autistic person could recognise a psychopath, I teach them, but I see they really seek them out in a crowd, and don't get the alarm bells I do have. And once they actually spot one, they then confront them etc., but my advice is to avoid them.

Yes, asperger is hypersensitive, hsp is highly sensitive, I don't know how to explain the difference. :)
 
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