help with personality diagnosis

Nov 2011
hi all

i have been in a relationship with someone for a little over a year and she has some personality traits that im not sure i completly understand, but i am pretty sure that alot of her traits are somehow related. i will list them out and see what you guys can come up with, i really look foreword to your feedback...........

she is constantly late, very late usually and she makes no apologies for it. its like she thinks its cute to have someone waiting for over an hour for her to show up.

she is very easly startled. actually thats an understatement, if u leave the rooom for ten minutes and come back in she will scream at the top of her lungs and her heart will be racing. she is truely terrified after u walk into a room after just a few minutes of being away.

she never has her phone on her to where you can contact her. she just leaves it wherever and isnt concerned that someone may be trying to contact her. if she wants to talk to someon she will call them but other than that its almost impossible to contact her.

another phone issue is that she wont delete old voice mails, her voice mail box is full and no one can leave her a message but yet she argues and basically refuses to clean out her old voicemails.

she has a very hard time apologizing. you may get an "im sorry that hurt you" but never an emotional heartfelt apology.

she told me once that her X husband never bought her gift that she kept and that she would return any gift he got her and exchange it for something she liked. this really bothered her because as she puts it "after 7 years of marriage you would think that he would learn what i liked" i would try to explain to her that he probably hurt his feelings and had him feeling a little defeated but she would just reply with "well im a logical person and im not going to keep a gift that i dont like"

she is very honest. almost to the point of it being a flaw. if someone asked her how they looked or anyquestion like that she would tell them her honest opinion in a cold and heartless manner.

she loses everything. her phone, purse, debit card....... constantly

two times in one week she lost her 5 year old son. on a saturday evening she is getting gas in the bad part of town and he gets out of the car and goes inside to the mens bathroom. after she is finished getting fuel she just leaves and doesnt realize that he isnt in the car for a few miles. and then just three days late she leave him at school on a day when they wasnt having school. it took about 3 hours for someone to track her down, ( see above commit about not answering her phone).

she is very well educated, a physician that speaks three languages.

she is a 38 year old asian that came to the states when she was 3.

she has a way of making everything about her. if u try to talk to her about how u feel she turns it around to be about her. if u try to tell her about a seafood restaurant that you like she has to make sure that yo uknow she doesnt like seafood.

and lastly she always makes sure that u know your good isnt good enough. i have bought her and her daughter all cars, dinners, trips and countless dinners over the last year and each and every time she makes sure that you know it just wasnt quiet right.

well thats just the hight points but maybe thats enought for some of you to give me some opinions about her personality type.

thanks in advance.

Nov 2011
thats a good question. im not real sure how it would help i guess im just looking to understand her better. i dont really think she does all these things intentionally and i guess im just trying to decide if i want to continue a relationship with her or not. originally i thought a lot of her traits maybe have been attributed to a new relationship and we would gel as a couple but that doesnt seem to be happening.


May 2008
the best way of understanding a person is from that person directly. usually we want to be understood and we want to understand each other. in much the same way I just gained more insight into your motives by asking what you hoped to achieve, you can do the same with your partner. the trick is in asking the right question and perhaps more importantly asking in the right way.

i would not rely on people guessing at your partners personality type.

having said that what do you know of anxiety and do you think she may be a bit anxious?