Help myself with meditation

Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
Also will do other things and will be, which feels best. Being normal again, so my tics are gone. Eat less, be emotionally healthy, especially my extreme aggression will come down. Dance and act a lot, grow to be on professional level. Find a girlfriend. Try to find for as long as possible to have children with as an option. Be professional healer, like massage or others. Be very fast in thinking and have right ideas, i mean that my thinking works the best. Earn a lot of money. Be professional leader. If i missed something, it will also come true. Like teaching. I think thats it.
 
Jul 2021
618
79
London
I dont know if i tried this trick already after i stopped my plan to have life long meditation, which is same.... I just made appointment with a doctor, who some years ago said to my question :"can i just eat healthy meanung the amount" she said, if you dont want, then stop. Afterwards i was eating less. But i didn't go to her again and the effect was gone. Also i was more silent. My swearing at myself also disappeared. It was short effect. So don't know if its really an effect but something good happened for sure. I thought or i somehow i couldn't really do anything but my head, not me, were telling that it will not have effect again. Doesn't matter.

So additionally i wanted to post here, that i will eat from now on just what feel righ. From amount and the content. I guess i should think of this for 3 yeaers and then forget about it. I will forget about it anyways. No lets just make is simple, i will eat how it feels the best for me from now on
Yeah, it sounds like depression, not sure what kind, but that happens in depression.
 
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Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
I just made note in my calendar that if i dont notice anything, that she will come back, i will be more active like going to dating apps. However i wrote that i will see her and maybe not notice anything but invent that its true i mean there must some proof of it in theory, like she feels something. Thats it actually. Than i did big mistake to not to do it now, if nothing changes...
 
Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
Also i will be the best way possible to myself. Of course to others too. If one would ask, 3 years would be good to think of it. And use all 5 sences. Touch to outside and inside. Also smell and taste and eyes. And in best relationship to my mother and father. To say love is good here.
 
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Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
Also love my partner and my children. I mean be as good as possible to them. Liebevoll in german. So not just love egoistically but treat them with love.
 
Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
Eating is about liking yourself it feels for me. If i eat the right wayit means i feel that it feels good, than i like myself. Meaning i am doing for my body and emotions. Good for me. I have to think how others could do it especially children, because they will not think too much. I think childs way is good. So if a child who hardly can speak has the wish to eat the right amount or just how it feels good for him, than the only thing i know is going to the doctor and ask, because children might have not enough feeling what is good for them. But at the age of 7 i think its ok. Then they can make themselves clear to eat how it feels good for how long? Food is not easy to change so sth like 3 years is a good thing. Trying out if this exercise is helpful or not i cant say bevause it can happen just at the end. So just wait for 3 years. I dont know if its important to mention that i have some thoughts about my way of eating. Its better to take it into consideration. I think sometimes that food is helpful to recover from my tension. I think that's it. So you have to tell to yourself that i wanted to say bullshit but i dont know. Idk what to tell here. Better to forget about. So i will say to myself for 3 years that i will eat how it feels right.

How can you distinguish that you mean it seriously, because i dont say to tell some amount of times just to have it as plan. Its not bad to say it 7 times a day for 3 years. Meditating for 5 seconds or more if it feels good. So i will do it too. I dont know if its better. If you have problem with clarity then better with telling or meditation.

Going to the doctor and ask if eating less or how it feels good is better idea. Because doctor has better feeling for this. Why actually you need doctor, isnt it better to eat the way feels healthier? I think so but you can always be wrong.

Eating how it feels good or the way i like myself is same for me. I think for others too.

So doctor knows or hopefully feels better if you are right or wrong. Then you just follow his instruction. I didn't ask yet again, so my though of asking her is not clear if it works. So what the doctor knows is what i dont know. But if its about feeling than. With food is the problem if you eat less, it can be just not enough and your feeling misleads you. So doctor should see, if your idea of eating might be wrong. Not enough means... I dont really know because... But what does doctor do? He just feels probably... So i cant do it by myself and biotensor can be misleading too.
 
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Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
I just had a chat online for psychological help. I told about food problem, the person said just to eat less. After chat was over, i thought i should have asked when to talk again. Its important, because things change and good things go away. I should have asked but anyways its clear, that ince a month its good
 
Sep 2021
413
61
Berlin
I wrote Yuchan, if she want to be together with me. Its not bad idea. Otherwise nothing special happened. Except my brain lost some energy for 2 or 3 days i guess. Maybe i will not notice. Its hard to accept there is no solution with my head. I guess some Antidepressiva should help and supplements how nit sure