Gift-giving

May 2021
1
0
Oswego, NY
I met this girl at my last job in August 2020 and she decided within about 2 weeks that I was her new best friend. There's a lot more about this person to unpack, and as of December 2020, we are no longer friends but still work together (unfortunately).

So within the first week I was training her, it was my birthday. She made something for me, got me some candy and ice cream, and I didn't think anything of it. Thought it was a nice gesture from a new friend. Her birthday was the next month, so I got her something and took her out for dinner when the time came. She went out of town with her boyfriend for her birthday, and came back with a gift for me. Ok, cool. Again, didn't think much of it. Gifts turned into buying dinner into more random gifts. At one point she bought me a Keurig out of the blue and baking pans just because I had once mentioned they were things I was considering buying for myself. She would also make jokes that she was my "boyfriend" and had to "take care of" me while also fueling some fake rivalry between me and her actual boyfriend (who I hadn't even met). At first, I thought it was just cute fun but after a while it got somewhat concerning, especially when I started seeing someone. She would get mad at me over minor things and call me and my new boyfriend names, but then suggest we all get a house together. After another incident in which she got mad at me (she hurt my feelings and got angry because I ignored her for a couple hours while I was upset) I told her I needed a break from her. Oh, she still had another gift waiting to be given to me.

I know that she had very toxic behavior for a friend (which is why we are no longer friends) but I wanted some extra insight into the gift giving aspect of it. I enjoy giving gifts to my friends as well, and I gave her gifts on appropriate events (birthday, christmas) and I have no problems getting things for my other friends or receiving things from them, but also these are people I've known for YEARS.

So what do you think? Am I overthinking the gifts or was it all a little "too much" for a new friendship?
 
Mar 2021
18
0
Somewhere in the world we know
You know my sister once told me of a situation like this. She was in, idk fifth grade? and there was this girl who'd bring excessive amounts of stationary ( glitter pens, 50+ shades of colour pencils, all that jazz). All the other kids would be so impressed, and she would say that she could only share the stuff with her "friends". It's sad, really. She thought she was getting attention and approval easily and quickly, when she was actually just bribing them in exchange for what she wanted.

"...was it all a little "too much" for a new friendship?"
Instincts don't lie. Did the whole situation feel right to you?