Friend is constantly angry.

Oct 2020
1
0
Illinois
So i have been friends with this girl for almost a year now, and lately she’s been transitioning into a more angrier being. We would spend time together and hang out in my room, then she would pull out her phone and go on Snapchat just to make fun of people. Non stop. All she ever does is make fun of people, always talking badly about them, and all they would be doing is living their lives.


She made a remark to me before when i claimed that ‘a lot of country music sounds the same, i wouldnt listen to it a lot’ and she said to me, ‘i wouldnt want someone to judge me for what i listen to, so i wont judge them.’ But she judges anyone for anything? It seems she has such a high self importance for herself, and tries to act like a good person.


Now, onto simple tasks i ask for her to do. She would ask me to do things for her, and i would do them, or sometimes even make her do them herself because it is simple and im not going to be her slave. But as soon as i ask her to do a small task which is needed, such as when i needed her to pick up my school photos from the office after school, she made the excuse that it would “take too much time. i have to babysit RIGHT AFTER school.” it wouldnt have hurt for her to go into the office, ask for my name and my photo, and leave. I would have got it from her the next day when we hung out. When we listen to music, she seems to become passive aggressive when i ask her to change the song or turn it up. Then the whole day becomes ruined.



Onto public situations. We used to go to the softball park to let the kids mess with our skateboards while we got popcorn, and everytime we go there she was always stressed about how people stare at her, when in reality, no one did. I will say, no one cares about us, and she would get stressed and get passive agressive once again, and then the day is ruined. we would be walking/skateboarding and she would be aware of the cars coming by, and she gets mad because she would think they are “staring at us.”



Onto her comparing. Recently shes started this new kick of comparing myself to her, such as “Youre prettier than me, everyone likes you.” or “No one wants to talk to me, play with my cruiser board etc etc...” she also becomes upset because i have a relationship and shes been wanting one for a while. its as if she doesnt want to be happy. shes always so negative, i dont know how to bring anything to her without her getting angry about my “criticism”
 
Mar 2020
243
19
US
You said she feels self centered and likes making fun of people and then when you focus on her she gets negative which actually means she does like the attention but she prefers pity, which will affect her sucess.

You should talk to her about sucess, figure out what she wants out of life, and help her stick on topic. Maybe reference books about success and money and time management or some form of skill she wants to have.

She seems to both like and dislike attention which means she's really picky, which means you can use her likes and dislikes to talk to her.

Passive aggressive is the most effective form of control, which means she likes control, but also means she doesn't feel like she has control.

You want her to get control of herself and her life so that she focuses on herself in positive ways without dragging you down.

You're working with someone with a very strong identity. This does not sound like anger, but a willpower and focus issue, with a bit of pity mongering.





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