Family always doing everything in sync

Sep 2021
1
1
USA
Specifically my dad and I... we do everything at the same time, in sync. It is extremely frustrating and sometimes I'm not sure if he does things on purpose to cause a fight (because my mom always blames me and treats him like the innocent child.)

We wake up at the same time, sleep at the same time, go to the kitchen at the same time, even eat our food in the same order (if I eat the salad, my dad eats the salad... if I eat a bite of mashed potatoes, so does he... for the entire meal)

I don't know if he's doing this on purpose, like some sort of mirroring behavior. But many times we're not in the same room, then we both walk into the kitchen at the same time. Keep in mind... there is no set schedule. These are always at various times, unplanned. Like right now... I randomly went into the kitchen for lunch, and he was there just beginning to get his lunch.

I hate living like this because it's extremely frustrating.

Why would we be so extremely in sync all the time? We don't have the same work schedules, or sleep schedules, or eating schedules. Everything is very random and different, but somehow we're always finding ourselves living perfectly in sync with literally everything.
 
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Aug 2021
56
34
Austin, TX
"with literally everything"? Bathroom, short walks, blowing your nose, clearing your throat, biting your fingernails, getting a drink of water, literally everything? Might it be that you are actually looking for coincidences like this and making them into something more significant? Our brains are programmed to look for patterns in our environment, and is it possible you have taken some insignificant coincidences and made a pattern of them? Look at this logically, make some notes, and perhaps you will find it is just chance, and not a cosmic plot to drive you mad...If, however, you find that he is intentionally mirroring your actions, try simply asking why? If still no answers, it may be time for you to think about finding a place of your own...
Best of luck to you,
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
148
13
London
Specifically my dad and I... we do everything at the same time, in sync. It is extremely frustrating and sometimes I'm not sure if he does things on purpose to cause a fight (because my mom always blames me and treats him like the innocent child.)

We wake up at the same time, sleep at the same time, go to the kitchen at the same time, even eat our food in the same order (if I eat the salad, my dad eats the salad... if I eat a bite of mashed potatoes, so does he... for the entire meal)

I don't know if he's doing this on purpose, like some sort of mirroring behavior. But many times we're not in the same room, then we both walk into the kitchen at the same time. Keep in mind... there is no set schedule. These are always at various times, unplanned. Like right now... I randomly went into the kitchen for lunch, and he was there just beginning to get his lunch.

I hate living like this because it's extremely frustrating.

Why would we be so extremely in sync all the time? We don't have the same work schedules, or sleep schedules, or eating schedules. Everything is very random and different, but somehow we're always finding ourselves living perfectly in sync with literally everything.
Some dads compete with their daughters for the affection of the mother and some mothers compete with the daughters for the affection of the parent. I don't think the parent realises his role in this situation. I recognise your frustration and my advice is try not to let it get to you. Are you highly sensitive? Typically it is normal for the child to compete for the affection of the parent, as Freud says, but yes, this thing is common and probably pathological, it is indication of a mental health issue, so I think the first healing tip is acknowledging that there is a parent with a mental health issue, if not maybe both, Idk, and that at least now you know you are not the cause for this, as that is the main issue in these situations, supported by the fact that you recognise this, but you shouldn't feel bad about it, these things are more common than you think, and mental illness, physical illness are the same, if we don't have the physical issues, we get mental ones and vice versa. The struggle is to stay healthy and the main goal we should set for ourselves, but most people don't set that goal for themselves, they put other things first such as ruining other people's lives, causing unemployment etc., and that is not one mindset I share. It's so illogical and wrong, and a bit stupid no offence and I just can't tolerate those "people" but somewhere they claim psychopaths are "intelligent" I really don't know who the hell began this wrong rumour. What do you think.
 
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