False Allegation (Grandma's pants) Phenomenon

Oct 2020
1
0
EU
Hello! I am looking for a name of this psychological phenomenon that I call Grandma's Pants Reaction. It's the kind of situation when someone misinterprets your behavior thinking you missed or forgot something, when you have really not, mostly because of that person being less qualified and not able to correctly estimate your actions.

When I was a kid once I came home after a walk and I was undressing. I took off my pants and was about to fold them and put them on a hanger. My Grandma who was observing me at that very moment approached me and said: "Fold them nicely and put them on a hanger dear". I replied: "Grandma, that's what I was about to do." She said: "No, you were about to drop them on the floor". I said: "No I didn't!". I tried to prove myself but she did not believe me.

I am in my 40s now. I have this friend who is a college professor of the same age. Great to hang out with, knows a lot about poetry, movies and history, but a bit out of this world -- you know the type. Sometimes we go shopping together in my car (he doesn't drive). It's always the same route. About a month ago we're driving and there's this turn that I need to make. I put my turn signal on and the very moment I was about to start decelerating into the turn he suddenly yelled: "Hey, that's our turn!" -- "I know, I know", I said, -- "Hey!" -- he yelled even louder and grabbed my arm -- "That's the turn! Brake now, you gonna miss it!". I attributed this to his "out-of-this-worldness" and sort of forgot about it. But then another time we were going the same route, same place, the very same moment I was about to make the turn, he yells "Hey! that's our turn! You gonna miss it like YOU DID THE LAST TIME". When we parked, I told him: "I did not miss that turn". He smiled at me and replied: "Oh, sure you did". "I did NOT" I said. Then there was another similar misinterpreted situatuation (that I cant recall details of), and he said: "Oh it's like that turn that you missed twice!" That got me mad and I said" F!ck it, that did NOT happen in real world! It happens in your brain!" What he said then really flipped me out. He said: "You're just saying it, but you cannot prove it. How is your version more plausible than mine?".

He's a professor in linguistics and he sometimes corrects me if I mispronounce. That doesn't really happen often, but he got me a couple of times. But mostly when he does it, it's because he misheard me mispronounce (yeah, get it?). Then there was this sales guy who said "supposably", and the professor immediately reacted: "Hey, remember you used to say that too?" "No, I didn't", I said. "Oh yes you did and I corrected you" -- he smiled at me. I flipped out again. "I NEVER SAID THAT WORD" - I yelled. Because I remember this stupid school teacher who used to say SUPPOSABLY and everyone was making fun. "That was another word!" -- I yelled. But I couldn't prove it again.

Another time we were discussing clothes, and I told him how to know the shirt fits you well. It's when the seam that attaches sleeves to the body exactly fits your shoulder line. I know that because I have a friend who's been doing professional dancing his entire life, dancers are crazy about clothes and costumes, and he told me that when we were kids. A few months later the professor saw me wearing a t-shirt, and he said: "Hey, that's not your size. Remember how I told you to check the seam with the shoulders?" WTF?! "No, I TOLD YOU THIS" -- I exclaimed. "You gotta be kidding" -- he laughed -- "I've known this my entire life." "NO YOU HAVE NOT, YOU WEIRDO!" So, this is another thing he does: some things he learned from me, he tells me it was actually HIM, who I LEARNED IT FROM!

And it's not about him, it's about ME. And that drives me crazy. I know the truth because I was part of it. And I know the reason the truth is misinterpreted. Yes, he might be competing unconsciously. Yes, I am more successful. Yes, I have a beautiful wife and he doesn't even have a gf and lives with his parents. Yes, he's the crazy one. But what buggs me the most, there really is NO way to prove myself right!

And my question is: What is the correct name of this phenomenon in psychology? These type of situation really turn into intrusive thoughts for me. I wake up and think about the damn turn. I call them "false allegations", but if I google that I only find articles on rape and sexual abuse. Please, I would like to read about how to handle these situations. I've been confronted with them all my life, they are causing me a lot of trouble and excessive thinking, and I have no idea how to handle that.
 
Last edited:
Mar 2020
235
19
US
Just be happy you have a wife.

I'd kill to marry my girlfriend if I'd get away with it.

He's either playing with you because he's lonely and jealous.

Or he is seriously lonely and jealous and has no one to live for and keep him in check.

Older singles who fucked away their lives like us are rats, who need to be exterminated. All we can do is be bitter and useless our whole lives. The only pleasure we will ever get in life is trying to be smarter than everyone else.

You have the true meaning of life, a family. Know that everything else is dirt, and only ever pretend to agree with the world of useless uncommitted cowardly adult child hellbound rats around you.

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