Excessive thinking and anxiety

Oct 2020
I am 36 yr old guy. Woking as software developer.
When things are not in my control I feel very scared of consequences and start to think excessively.
I easily get freaked out if I have made mistake at work. I start thinking people will start judging me.
I feel shaky and restless until that mistake is resolved.

I remember when I was going to vacation for 5 6 days. I literally took photographs of gas, fan, lights switches which I can refer later to reassure myself that I actually switched it off.

Sometimes I feel If I can just switch off this excessive thinking, its eating me alive.

Please advise.
Mar 2020
I'm a patient with some psych and social self education.

First of all. I want you to acknowledge that you are normal and that your situation is not that bad.

The benefits of anxiety are that you are more alert and work harder.

The flip opposite is doing nothing and not making any money.

The trade off is that by being uncomfortable you may make others uncomfortable.

You can try calming teas such as tumeric and vitamin c.

But you do not want to relax so much that you experience so much pleasure that you will never return to work.

Be thankful that you are not a paranoid schitzophrenic with a personality disorder and disorganization like me. Be thankful that you have a specialization and not a general experience like me. You are much more valuable to any employer than I am.

Once you feel thankful, you will have the ability to move forward.

If you are interested in wisdom and not offended by the bible. The book of James says that you can be happy in suffering.

The meaning is that once you are happy regardless of the suffering you will not feel the suffering.

Feelings are both chemical and a decision.

I had a friend who got on antianxiety pills and he immediately smoked pot for the first time since he was young and then he called me up suicidal.

Going to the other side of the fence where you think the grass is greener causes chemical and social "motion sickness" entering unfamiliar territory and fear so great that you may even want to die, or you maybe completely vulnerable and handicapped.

So use your incredible organization and control skills to steer your chemicals and social life as if you were driving that car 200mph and the slightest twitch could be a disaster.

This may make you feel stressed out to visualize, but I would like to let you know, that as we mature, life choices become more finely critical, and your ability to microadjust is absolutely beneficial.

It sounds like other than anxiety you may be lacking self trust and the ability to take risks... I am not certified to prescribe, but it was in a recent study that tylenol increases people's willingness to take risks, but that it also increased failure because of the risks.

You have to negotiate between risk and failure. If the failure is too great, you cannot risk it.

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Oct 2020
New York
Your stress and anxiety are very normal, and the pandemic has definitely added a lot to it. On the work front, it is quite normal the way you feel. With economies crashing and huge job losses, it is normal to feel the way you do. But consider if there's anything that you could do from your side to keep yourself assured. How productive are you in your work? How careful and sincere are you? These are the few questions you could ask yourself. If answers to these are negative, then try to focus and work hard. Make sure you check your work twice or thrice, see if you have to spend an hour or two extra. If so, do it. Once you are satisfied you're giving enough and achieving your targets well, it really helps you feel confident. After all the maximum you can do is give your best. That's the only thing under your limited control.
With the lights, fans, and gas that's normal too. If taking pictures of switched off appliances gives you peace of mind. I'd say why not. But, if you are worried even with pictures then it's an issue. You're doing nothing wrong here. Just carry on, slowly you can shed this practice of yours.