Day Dreaming

[Theseeker363]

Ok, so you have created an obsessive habit, we can break you of that habit. You might talk to one of the counselors at your school or your primary care physician for help, or if you want to try and go it yourself look into something like retrain the brain or Cognitive Behavior Therapy, perhaps something like Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Dummies, which you should be able to find in your library or used. You can also begin to consciously change your thought patterns by making a decision to concentrate on something else beside this young lade. Meditation may also help you get focused...
you can do it, but it may take a while...after all it took you time to acquire this habit, now it will take time to break it...
Best of luck,
Ivery

Thanks for ur suggestion and hearing
I dont want to go for psychiatric medicines and also i haven't time for psychologist session bcoz my exam is nearer so i decide to resovle it by myself. I have plan particular things to do.
1. Mindfull meditation
2.face her instead of ignoring or running (yesterday on dinner i faced her it is little uncomfortable for me but i think it is managable)
3. Take some little brake from study and do some creative like learning drawing etc.
4. Gentally reconcentrate my mind on present work
Somehow i feel relieved after disscusing my problem with you . I am grateful to you for listening to me.
Thanks,
Harsh

 

[Usedandabused]

Disagree, if it gets in the way of everyday life, working, school, and so forth it is an obsession, not love. I have been married 45 years, have two children and four grandchildren. I have a social network of over twenty friends whom I try to see at least once a month. I am pretty sure I know what love is. Love is giving unconditionally of oneself for the betterment of another. Obsession is "I just can' seem to get her out of my mind". To love her is to let her go. To obsess over her is to not be able to conduct normal activities because all I can do is think of her...
Best wishes back,
Ivery

I don't think he is obsessing over her is what I am trying to get at. I think you believe he is obsessing over her, but I am not sure what makes you believe is incapable of loving someone just like every other human being, I think he is fully capable of that, and nothing in his post suggests otherwise. He is not romantically impaired. I don't agree either, loving unconditionally isn't always love either, if you think of codependency that is not love either, and it comes off as unconditional to some people (mainly one other single person), but conditional towards others, nor is unrequited love, which is unconditional and one sided, anyway, nevermind... Will agree to disagree here.

The only person who'd not be able to love and be impaired would be a psychopath, but he is not a psychopath. They obsess about their prey, but this is not the case here, I am not sure why you believe this guy is a psychopath lol.

 

[Usedandabused]

Yup i am agree with you it's not love but here question is it is obession or way of esacpism of my mind becoz i have to study all day and no social interaction i'm barely talk with people. Wait a minute first of all i have to describe my self so that things are get more clear
I am 25 yr male away from home to prepare for pre medical entrance exam and currently i'm live in hostel where i met her. I'm ambivert and little reserved in nature. Intially her behaviour toward me friendly but suddenly she ignoring me.i dont know what i did wrong with her so that i confront her to clear any misunderstanding but she refuse to talk then one voice came inside of me just go to hell( ya u can say that my male ego hurted) anyway i started to ignore her too. so it's all about whole scenario untill now. Yesterday on dinner i felt weird i saw her with one of her hostel friend who came back hostel after a month and felt jealous for them but later i laughed on me wtf going on my mind (sorry for cuss word it's all happening at that time in my mind) .
Thats all about me. Now currently i am confused/meesed about all things and totally frustrated . I dont know what is wrong with me.
At the end
i request you if u wish please help me out to get up from this whole mess it' ur grace to me.

Thanks for hearing me,

You are frustrated because you may think it is unrequited? That doesn't mean, it isn't love, you feel it, but it's unrequited, however, mutual love is much better, and worthy, this is going to be a waste of time if she's not going to tell you upfront. Unrequited love isn't love in my view, even if it is unconditional. It seems like you dated her too... sometimes when we date narcissists, this can happen, like that you get to obsess over them, unless of course you were a psychopath then you obsess, but normal people might obsess over the narcissist due to trauma bonding, and for example when they cheat. But for example I rejected a string of married men recently, and I think they weren't normal asking me. I mean, if you think about it deeply, it is not normal, plus also they believed I was in love with them, for just saying "hi", that is not normal. You can say "hi" just for being polite... but you know it did creep me out a bit. You are not married, so you are normal, in my view. It is true some psychopaths are not married, but from my exp all psychopaths are married and with a job, it is normal people who struggle, and I am thanking the pandemic for that too, actually I am angry at the pandemic, as it's made all the nutters important.

 

[IveryKeys]

Harsh, I would add one more thing, and that is exercise. It will help you clear your brain, and it also releases endorphins. Perhaps a brisk walk or some time on the elliptical may also help...
Best of luck to you,
Ivery