Co-addiction and Stockholm's syndrome

A

Agni

Maybe you know what a connection is between co-addiction and Stockholm's syndrome?? I have read only one article about Stockholm's syndrome. Maybe you have read something about it, I am afraid: there is no more bibliography in Polish about this problem. I found they develope in the same way. Can you write something more?? And please forgive me: I have known yet psychology terms in English but I hope you understand me
 

SWM

May 2008
2,314
2
hi agni

i am not familiar with stockholm syndrome, so i done a little bit of researching this morning.

stockholm syndrome appears to be a form of trauma-bonding. (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome) as i understand it trauma bonding takes place over a period of time while stockholm syndrome takes place during a short traumatic event.

when you say co-addiction i am geussing you mean co-dependency.
there is only slight difference in the definition of the words addiction and dependency but the term co-dependency are in common usage and recogised psychosocial concepts. the concept of co-dependency fits well with trauma bonding.
 
Jul 2008
87
0
it's the first time I hear about this syndrome , thank you, agni and stan .i have to do some research about ,too, sounds like a very interesting subject .
 

SWM

May 2008
2,314
2
did you ever hear of trauma bonding?

i remember when i first heard about it i was fascinated by the pyshcology that is involved in the process of bonding through abuse.

it was quite amazing and disturbing.
 
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Aug 2008
276
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Online probably :)
[quote author=stan link=topic=452.msg1419#msg1419 date=1221513817]

it was quite amazing and disturbing.
[/quote]

Disturbing is right on.
 
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Aug 2008
276
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Online probably :)
Agni, I thought I'd share this article with you. It is written by Dr. Sam Vaknin, a known narcissist who writes very great articles about abuse, torture, narcissism, etc.

I've held onto this article for a long time. It seems to make clear to me a lot of what I went through in the past.

It discusses a bit of Stockholm's Syndrome. I think you will find it interesting.

It ends on this note: "Torture is about reprogramming the victim to succumb to an alternative exegesis of the world, proffered by the abuser. It is an act of deep, indelible, traumatic indoctrination. The abused also swallows whole and assimilates the torturer's negative view of him and often, as a result, is rendered suicidal, self-destructive, or self-defeating" (Vaknin, S., 2001).
 
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A

Agni

Cecil: I am interested in reading this article and would be very grateful.... do you have electronic version? or do you have it in a book or...????
 
A

Agni

Thank you Cecile, I have just printed it and I hope to read it soon:))
 
Jul 2021
617
79
London
Agni, I thought I'd share this article with you. It is written by Dr. Sam Vaknin, a known narcissist who writes very great articles about abuse, torture, narcissism, etc.

I've held onto this article for a long time. It seems to make clear to me a lot of what I went through in the past.

It discusses a bit of Stockholm's Syndrome. I think you will find it interesting.

It ends on this note: "Torture is about reprogramming the victim to succumb to an alternative exegesis of the world, proffered by the abuser. It is an act of deep, indelible, traumatic indoctrination. The abused also swallows whole and assimilates the torturer's negative view of him and often, as a result, is rendered suicidal, self-destructive, or self-defeating" (Vaknin, S., 2001).
I think with narcissism it takes a few months for those traits to come out, but eventually I think the first traits are those of a bully, always contradicting what you have to say, sometimes it takes a few weeks to a couple of months, but then you get a side of the person that is very strange. I do recognise narcissists a bit more quickly than in the past, but I still struggle in the first couple of weeks, however, the first feeling I get the first impression of a narcissist, or someone I don't trust is there since the very start. I am not against narcissists, I think what most people are scared of are malignant narcissists-psychopaths, but I don't like certain traits, i.e. the continuous trying to contradict you just to show off and the jealousy or envy, etc., it's a bit creepy to be honest, but Idk if others get the same feeling. They do not respect boundaries since the start, but I wouldn't know if they actually do the same bad things as the malignant ones, and that is a question you may wonder about from time to time. In general very weak-minded people who are suggestible and stuff, really are depressing and they make people sick, so best to block and avoid them, in general. If they are rude, perhaps just hope a cataclysm hits them so they stop being so horrific to others, but generally the empathy is never there, otherwise you wouldn't be harassing strangers, like that. Narcissists think they know better, even when they effectively know not much, but the issue is that these people cause a lot of trouble, so best to avoid them and I think having to walk on eggshells around them is the worst thing, because you don't know what is going to be the outcome of that unstable and insincere behaviour... in the end they are strangers, but I think it doesn't cost anything to be kind to strangers, and particularly to someone who is kind to you, the narcissist doesn't view people as human and sees happiness or sees whatever humane as strange, a bit like the psychopath, and the psychopath may even act on it, but yes, it is disappointing that someone may be that childish particularly after the initial first weeks or months they even seemed normal. So yes, I don't trust people that much as a result of narcissists, because you don't really expect that, by an actual adult, these are behaviours that are quite childish. I don't hate on normal people, but I keep an eye if someone seemed normal a week and next week is a nut, or a month ago or two months ago, and then suddenly is a nut too as that is a hint you may be dealing with a narcissist, not necessarily but it is the case, as it's at least toxic and unhealthy behaviour, as well as disrespectful and I do get the red flag, I may be dealing with a dangerous personality... particularly online, as this is the internet after all and there are all sorts of people lying about stuff, but yes, a few clues of a narcissist are if someone tries to bully you, they join in, and there's no explanation other than either they are way too suggestible (not normal) or they are too antisocial, and yes, maybe some even hide it well, as I have seen psychopaths hiding this well, so why shouldn't the narcissist hide it well? But I don't know if the narcissist is as dangerous as the malignant narcissist, I wouldn't know if they'd actually violate your human rights, and other laws, and that is something I need to read more about, but yes I have read some of Vaknin's works, the book about malignant narcissism is perhaps the only work that kind of stands out in terms of creativity, as it is his work.

I am particularly sensitive a HSP so unlike in the past, that I would tolerate a lot more, now I just avoid after one time I have the feeling someone behaves badly, as I do think some situations can be dangerous, I don't fear people, but I do fear psychopaths, as some behaviours are just not ok. I used to put up with a lot of behaviour, like those who develop Stockholm Syndrome, so now I have learnt not to put up with certain behaviours, and I think if someone wants to be your friend, or cares for you, they will also respect your boundaries and not act in an erratic manner, erratic behaviours are a red flag, and since I've never been wrong, I would like to carry on trusting how certain behaviours make me feel, but yes, I don't think bullying people is right either. So yes, I do care less about some psychopath thinks about me, if it's a psychopath, Idc, if someone expects me to care, then they are probably a psychopath too, and you can't risk because someone is not sensitive and doesn't understand the situations.
 
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