Can you be aware of a second personality?

Nov 2021
1
1
Germany
Hello. I am Bella. At least that's what I think. In my head, I've always been Bella and have always spoken English as my native language. But I'm from Germany.

But when I called my Mother, I didn't understand her. She only speaks German, and maybe a few English words. She told me my name is a different one than Bella.

Here's the thing. I'm not a completely different person. I remembere my Mom, our pets, my hobbies, that I have epilepsy.

But I don't remember my siblings, my nieces and nephews. I don't remember why I'm in a wheelchair, or the reason for the medical equipment in my room.

But the thing I least understand is, that I remember having had a sister who died when I was 11. She is real btw, and the only sibling I seem to remember.

My mother tried to clear my confusion by telling me that I'd had been "that Bella" before, usually after strong seizures when I was in strong pain, but I remember neither my seizures nor what happens afterwards.
She also said my siblings upset me really badly somehow, and she noticed me crying and suddenly stop. That was when I apparently started speaking English.

This is somehow so hard to believe for me right now. Because in my memory I've always spoken English.

What's wrong with me right now? Is this a multiple personality? Why can I remember some things and some not?
I am so confused.

I'm thankful for any answers.
Sincerely, Bella (Or not Bella, idk)
 
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Jul 2021
420
51
London
Ye
Hello. I am Bella. At least that's what I think. In my head, I've always been Bella and have always spoken English as my native language. But I'm from Germany.

But when I called my Mother, I didn't understand her. She only speaks German, and maybe a few English words. She told me my name is a different one than Bella.

Here's the thing. I'm not a completely different person. I remembere my Mom, our pets, my hobbies, that I have epilepsy.

But I don't remember my siblings, my nieces and nephews. I don't remember why I'm in a wheelchair, or the reason for the medical equipment in my room.

But the thing I least understand is, that I remember having had a sister who died when I was 11. She is real btw, and the only sibling I seem to remember.

My mother tried to clear my confusion by telling me that I'd had been "that Bella" before, usually after strong seizures when I was in strong pain, but I remember neither my seizures nor what happens afterwards.
She also said my siblings upset me really badly somehow, and she noticed me crying and suddenly stop. That was when I apparently started speaking English.

This is somehow so hard to believe for me right now. Because in my memory I've always spoken English.

What's wrong with me right now? Is this a multiple personality? Why can I remember some things and some not?
I am so confused.

I'm thankful for any answers.
Sincerely, Bella (Or not Bella, idk)
Yes, I think you can definitely be aware of DID/multiple personality disorders. I feel like histrionic are the least self aware as instead of admitting to being the way they are they will deflect everything on others, which I think is why it's hard for them to really heal, once that personality develops as they can't accept it, they say they don't accept it, for example they are envious but say they are not, that simply they believe things that are told, but really maybe you believe things you are told because you are envious deep down, as otherwise why the suggestibility, deep down they do think others have it better than them, and so they prefer the fantasy that you never suffered and the bad things they did later in life were acceptable simply because you had been told they were acceptable.
As a victim of organised crime, I do feel the fact I was a victim of organised impacted my sibling negatively and taught hiIm that organised crime is a world he could be a part of, as it did my mother. I do think it was extremely damaging, and I really don't know how to fix that. I really don't even know what type of psychological techniques would be effective, but I just think if someone is really intelligent, they wouldn't act like organised criminals. And if he really is different by mother he can prove it by acting differently. I think you must respect other people's boundaries, even if you have HPD and they don't respect your boundaries, I really don't know if I managed to get anything through to the HPD and Idk how they even lose the morals, but I did know you could heal with some psychotherapy, Idk if I can deliver that. Some people are really socially dumb though. I think my sibling has been hanging out with someone not very normal and has been taught to abuse me, unfortunately my idiot mother who hates me too agrees with him abusing me as it validates her. I really don't think my mother is well if she tells him to do the things he told me she told him to do though. He is difficult to fix now. Idk how he got like that so quickly, there's obviously something wrong.
 
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Aug 2021
155
92
Austin, TX
Do you know how you ended up in a wheel chair? Could you have suffered some trauma to your brain which made you forget your most recent memories before you "woke up"? In addition to multiple personality disorders there are many physiological causes for the symptoms you describe. Try and get more information from your family about who you have been, and what you have done up to the time you ended up in the wheel chair. This could be a combination of physiological and psychological problems too. Try and get as much information as possible,. Have you been to a counselor? Has anyone been working with you to try to reconstruct your past? All of these are issues worthy of exploration...
Good luck to you,
Ivery
 
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