Attitude problems with authority

Mar 2015
Lake Worth, FL
Be the Change

There is nothing wrong with being a "follower." Sometimes you have to subordinate your desires to the desires of a cause greater than oneself. The only way things can get done as you have said is to have both followers and leaders. Now followers gets a bad reputation because its connotation is with blindness. "Religion is the opiate of the people." So famously said gives us background to this connotation. But to follow doesn't mean to be blind and just do what a "superior" says, it means having your own values, but in certain situations doing what is necessary for the supervisor to get things done. You can suggest news ways and increase your influence by providing good ideas without conflicting with the ideas of a supervisor. Of course its not easy as you have to be sensitive to their needs and self-image, but if you have good ideas, different ways of doing things people will notice and you will expand what Covey calls your "Circle of Influence."

I myself have dealt with a supervisor who's ego was so big he was completely blind to my needs and desires. At first we butted heads and had our difficulties. He would always blame the environment on his mistakes never taking responsibility and usually blame me for many of his mistakes. Yet no matter how much force or confrontation he would never change, he was stuck in his ways. You cannot change people, only yourself. I learned through deep introspection and classic books by Stephen Covey, the only thing you can do in that situation is be the change you want to see in the world and forgive your "superiors" shortcomings. It's not easy and takes great strength in character, but the moment I started to do that was the moment our relationship improved. We still had our problems, but he was much more understanding and opened up to me even more.
Mar 2015
How you feel about authority figures may result from how you felt about early childhood authority figures. The most authority forceful people in most children's lives were school teachers. Teachers forcing work practices, many children found school work stressful to carry out. Many children carrying out forced labours without consciously blaming and or disliking authority figure teachers. Children may even learn how to become an authority figure. School teachers I believe can have the most conditioning influence on children's behaviour even though their intensions were not believed to be a behavioural influence. School children could learn how to become bullies motivated by their own emotional feeling of being bullied by teachers as teacher are attempting to maintain control over many children. School can be a major behavioural influence due to students need for positive stimulation medication, distraction, mental stress relief. Self-medicating children learn to like alternative pleasures unrelated to education's forced labours.
Feb 2020
I've ALWAYS had problems with authorities. It's not something I notice, it's just something about the way I am.

Now let me tell you something about myself. Im intelligent, proud and confident. This mix means that I'll often have an opinion about something and be sure that I'm right. This can sometimes lead to me questioning the authority. The thing is, if I were to just "bend" and "let them have one" that makes me feel really badly. Especially when I'm being blamed to something that's not my own fault.

Now the thing is, I undesrstand that a leader sometimes has to make a slightly bad decision but I shouldn't question it because it's more important to have one leader making all the decisions than a bunch of people trying to control the group. This is obvious to me. I still have problems doing things that I feel are wrong. It's just natural. I want to be the leader, I naturally try to assume that position everywhere that I go, perhaps that's the problem?

Anyway, i realize i have a problem, the question I have to YOU, my dear reader, is how do I deal with it. How do I accept being subordinate and therefore "lesser" and be fine with it. I know for sure I would feel much better if I just told them all to go f themselves, but that will prevent me from achieving ANYthing in life. So I just have to deal with it, but how??
I think you may be thinking about this slightly wrong.
Or maybe I read it wrong but I’ll give it a shot. Let’s start with, never apologize for being you. Our individuality is how we define who we are. At the same time I think it’s good to keep all the awesome in check in a social encounter. It teaches humility and restraint. Like yourself I do not do well with interacting or dealing with anyone who tries to force me into any form of action simply on the merit of their position. I don’t know how to fix it cause I never have but I will say conceding to another doesn’t make you subservient so long as you actually respect the person. It is just that a sign of respect.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Mar 2020
You seem to understand that having a leader is important. And you seem to be admitting that in your life right now you lack the resources to be a leader of a company, or whatever it is that you see requires you to follow authority.

May I suggest something unconventional.

Perhaps you are lacking in anxiety. A leader requires his followers to rely on his dominance, so it would be necessary for the followers to have a bit of anxiety that is lacking in the leader.

This doesn't mean that you need a lot of anxiety, just enough to understand that you are currently a follower. You can always change yourself later.

Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk