Are we programmed beings?

Mar 2020
The type of programming you are talking about is actually conditioning. We decide what we believe on firmly because these beliefs effect who it is in the world that we can associate with. We all have firm beliefs because everyone else has, who we desire to associate with. We can agree with these people, and agreement is necessary to produce activity together.

I am uncomfortable "blaming" parents for any sort of misbehavior towards their children, but of course in order to associate with them when we are young, in their budget, and under their roof, we have to somewhat allow ourselves to be conditioned by them.

If we ever intend to attend a family gathering again for the rest of our lives, we must remember the conditioning that they gave us in order to see them ever again. This is the same as any other person, except we may believe that we have more of a freedom to reject a different person.

Our freedom to reject a relationship with a person or group of people is the only thing that changes our conditioning, but if we ever intend to talk to anyone, we must allow ourselves to be conditioned to their "language." After all no one can communicate with anyone without a set language.

It is extremely difficult to be conditioned oppositely towards two different groups of people who disagree. We cannot abolish disagreement or there will be no diversity and therefore freedom to reject any specific group of people who would get out of hand, in favor of the other.

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Feb 2020
The type of programming you are talking about is actually conditioning.
Thanks for answering.

It did indeed consist of Stimulus-Response-Consequence and could be considered conditioning. My personal take on their use of the term Programming instead of conditioning was due to the gravity the behavior had on their lives (it made them no longer appropriate for a less restrictive environment) and the extreme nature of the techniques we used to extinguish them.

The behavior to be addressed was examined and broken down into steps. The different stages, or steps, of the behavior could then be addressed as smaller Objectives that when all met achieved the Goal. The behaviors and methodology used to address them were discussed and laid out in their yearly Individual Habilitation Plan, which could be amended as needed.

I see most things as behaviors and still use Behavior Mod to this day. Now I determine what stimuli is not inappropriate behavior and whether or not a response is needed. The lesson mine to teach, the lesson plan mine and the intended outcome "same as it ever was". Make it an unpleasant experience for them and less likely to happen again. It's not applicable to every situation but sometime is what's called for.

My sister had resorted to snarkiness and mind games to deal with me on a personal level her negative response to my stimuli in a family matter. I provided lesson after lesson in gaming one-upmanship but no matter how drastic the measures I took they all failed to get through to her. Like let me know in an offhand manner everybody is going out of state to a family members wedding and will be staying there a month.

Everybody on their side of the family, that is. They didn't call to let me know when they got there, when the marriage "supposedly" took place, or call for more than a week after they got back. I never said a word about any of it. Only let them know I had cancelled a ceremony of some magnitude in their absence, they wouldn't be coming to it and had lost the round.

After recent actions on their part crossed the line in a big way it was obviously time to take the gloves off and treat them like anyone else. Brutal honesty was called for as the consequences of their action and I changed the game to one where I make the rules. It only took not letting them talk their was out of what they had said and a news blackout from my end. Why they ever thought gaming me was a good idea in the first place their own shortcomings.
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