Anxiety attack without fear of dying

Sep 2020
Last time it happened during therapy session. I just disappeared in myself, couldnt say a word, i understood that i need to say something but no matter how hard i tried i couldnt say a word. I didnt feel like dying (if its common to panic attacks) but i was little shaking, thoughts were rushing or it was blank, i had a need to hide from therapist - and i felt fear a lot of fear.
Sometimes it happens in a supermarket, or while im driving.
After this - i feel exhausted, the memories from that moment also little faded. Also feel ashamed qfter this
Mar 2020
I don't want to sound stereotypically liberal psych but perhaps your having a hormonal reaction.

I find that I have serious panic attacks with erratic emotions when I am facing a situation in which I am supposed to or am welcome to relax.

I honestly can't handle niceness from people. I've been conditioned to drive myself with feelings of insufficiency and self put down.

I often challenge my own dignity because at age 32 white male in a vicious environment with criminal and psych records, inability to pay own bills, relying on my dad at age 32. Having a girlfriend LDR whom I am struggling impossibly to marry... Etc. Nothing works. I must hate myself until it all works out or I will just decay.

I think you are going through a little bit of this if our cases are similar.

First of all, I would tell you that your reaction is not bad. I had a friend who got on antianxiety pills for the first time and he ended up smoking pot for the first time since he was young and he called me telling me he wanted to kill himself because of the regretted a blocked out memory that he had. I tried to talk him down, but ended up ditching him, because I felt like he was clinging on to me inappropriately.

So be careful if you are going to get on antianxiety pills. Do not do thc if you do or your memories will come back. Since you are blocking out memories, much like I do, you probably have some sort of regret related to a time when you relaxed "too much" and probably got in inconceivable trouble, or could not live with your memory. This is why I block out memories.

I would encourage you to see the light in the darkness, and not look for greener grass. With that established, you may take small steps towards more comfortable and appropriate relaxation around your therapist.

Also you might just seriously feel like you cannot talk about yourself. You may need to discuss topical subjects with someone rather than focus about yourself.

I recommend joining any topical virtual meeting you can fit in your schedule such as on

Focusing on a topic with your therapist is actually the appropriate way to use therapy. Therapy isn't supposed to tear you apart, it's supposed to build you up.

Try discussing a favorite topic with your therapist instead of opening up about yourself. See if you can notice thought patterns you have from that angle.

Somethings I did that I really think we're awesome for my recovery were: keeping a blog website that focused on educational topics (a homemade curriculum for myself.) And video journals with a webcam.

I really recommend these two things.

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