A psychologically challenged mother who raised her child into retardation...

Jul 2020
2
0
London
Hi Psychology forum,

I had a question around understanding whether the situation below sounds like any known phenomenon / condition

Situation: I have been living with my long term partner's grandparents for a few months during lockdown (and will do my best to objectivelly describe what's been going on).

His grandparents who are afluent, and are now in their mid-late 80's live with their daughter (let's call her Anna). Anna is now in her mid 50's and is completely unwilling to care for herself. She doesn't cook, clean, shop or wash (maybe once a week?). I believe she is able, but unwilling. There is something odd about her character (she talks to herself, makes cat noises on occasion...is generally a bit strange...). When Anna was in her 30's she had a one night stand with a man and got pregnant with her daughter, Nicole. The dad is not in the picture. She and her daughter have been living with the grandparents ever since.

Nicole (the child) is now 20 and she is a complete recluse. She has no friends, she sleeps with her mother in the same bed, she is morbidly obease because her mother fed her only frozen food as a child, and is unable to wash herself (she needs to be bathed by the mother, who will wash her once a week if we're lucky...). She cannot make any eye contact when she speaks to people. Made worse, because of her mother, they both live a noctournal life, where she wakes up at 18:00 and sleeps at 5:00am.

Nicole was able to graduate high school, and is in her final year of online University (ironically studying psychologically...) So she is intellectually okay...?

Her behavior can best be described as a 5 year olds in the body of an adult. as a child I'm told that she was normal till about 10 years of age where she stopped developing...She will only leave the house with her mother. When we eat out, she holds hold her mother's hand, and on occasion has a mealt down when things don't go her way (literally screaming / throwing things like a toddler). She has no hygiene, and was bullied in school because of the smell. Her aunt blamed the other kids and failed to see why they were making fun of the smell.

This situation is completely toxic and abnormal. It's caused a lot of tension between the mother and my partners mum who has tried to get them to go for professional help. Anna refuses.

I'm horrified at what I've observed. It seems like child abuse, like a mother who has raised her child into complete ineptitude. She's been enabled by wealthy grandparents who haven't tried to intervene. She also refuses to listen to any criticism - she doesn't see that there's an issue.

I understand that it's hard to diagnose over a forum but literally any insight on the above would be seriously appreciated.

Does this sound similar to any known phenomenon??

Please help!!!!