Hi there,
so i kinda need help or advice. sorry my english isnt my mother language
Me and my niece ( now 24, 25) always kinda have a weird relationship, we love each other but also at moments cant stand each other little bit like sisters if you can say so.
we do have arguments through the years and mostly it is about little stuff, we come to a point that we do listen en communicate pretty well with each other and im happy with that so far.
but now ... we live right now in weird times for me it is kinda playing with my emotions, and now that it is autmn i kinda feel a little depressed, i dont share this quick with other people i do keep my mental health to myself most of the time. i decided to tell her, because i kinda needed someone to talk about it, she was sweet and kind and told a lot of people been feeling this way.
My niece is engaged and im still single wich im okay with, so she met someone for me, so i was okay with talking or meeting him at one point, but every convo we had even the mental health one, she talked about him and how we should meet, well i know she is excited and she meant it well, it was sometimes a little bit enoying.
we do have a middle eastern culture so meeting someone is sometimes complicated, i live in Belgium and she and he in The Netherlands, so meeting and getting to know each other is even more complicated.
So i got his number, it was up to me to talk to him. After a minute she was already like did he reply?? a little pushy if i say so, i started to feel kind a down that day and i didnt send him or her a text no more. We do that often anwser after a day, so that is normal to us.
i felt really down the following 2 days and didnt really talk to anyone because my mind couldnt.
After those days she texted kinda annoyed that i should told her if i was busy of didnt want to talk to him, i did reply that i felt down and i need a little breath space and i wanted to take my time, her reply was that it was a little effort to told her, but when you are down or depressed a little effort is a lot of effort.
i told her that i dont have to be accountable to her, because it was my choice when, how, .... i sended her a very hard text about how i felt and depressed and that i didnt talk to anyone, so she maybe could understand me, but i was a little shocked how cold hearted she replied. She told me " if you see this as accountable, i have nothing more to say. dont do something you dont feel comfortable with." I didnt reply because i was disapointed, but after maybe 2 minutes she blocked me.
i feel really ignored, i feel like that she thinks it is more important to look good in someones eyes than she cares about my mental health, i feel like i cant open up to her anymore.
The whole time where talking she ignored my feelings i even told her i was sick she was like whats wrong, i told her and she laughed ...
i hope someone with clear eyes can kind of give me advice or what her behaviour means
she can get easily a shamed, if i say oh you should buy that too, or when i had one pj and she took mine while her whole closet was full of it i asked her why did you take mine, she got really mad and ignored me the whole night while she had fun with my other nieces i felt really left out .... because i just asked.
thank you, i know its a long story i hope someone can help
so i kinda need help or advice. sorry my english isnt my mother language
Me and my niece ( now 24, 25) always kinda have a weird relationship, we love each other but also at moments cant stand each other little bit like sisters if you can say so.
we do have arguments through the years and mostly it is about little stuff, we come to a point that we do listen en communicate pretty well with each other and im happy with that so far.
but now ... we live right now in weird times for me it is kinda playing with my emotions, and now that it is autmn i kinda feel a little depressed, i dont share this quick with other people i do keep my mental health to myself most of the time. i decided to tell her, because i kinda needed someone to talk about it, she was sweet and kind and told a lot of people been feeling this way.
My niece is engaged and im still single wich im okay with, so she met someone for me, so i was okay with talking or meeting him at one point, but every convo we had even the mental health one, she talked about him and how we should meet, well i know she is excited and she meant it well, it was sometimes a little bit enoying.
we do have a middle eastern culture so meeting someone is sometimes complicated, i live in Belgium and she and he in The Netherlands, so meeting and getting to know each other is even more complicated.
So i got his number, it was up to me to talk to him. After a minute she was already like did he reply?? a little pushy if i say so, i started to feel kind a down that day and i didnt send him or her a text no more. We do that often anwser after a day, so that is normal to us.
i felt really down the following 2 days and didnt really talk to anyone because my mind couldnt.
After those days she texted kinda annoyed that i should told her if i was busy of didnt want to talk to him, i did reply that i felt down and i need a little breath space and i wanted to take my time, her reply was that it was a little effort to told her, but when you are down or depressed a little effort is a lot of effort.
i told her that i dont have to be accountable to her, because it was my choice when, how, .... i sended her a very hard text about how i felt and depressed and that i didnt talk to anyone, so she maybe could understand me, but i was a little shocked how cold hearted she replied. She told me " if you see this as accountable, i have nothing more to say. dont do something you dont feel comfortable with." I didnt reply because i was disapointed, but after maybe 2 minutes she blocked me.
i feel really ignored, i feel like that she thinks it is more important to look good in someones eyes than she cares about my mental health, i feel like i cant open up to her anymore.
The whole time where talking she ignored my feelings i even told her i was sick she was like whats wrong, i told her and she laughed ...
i hope someone with clear eyes can kind of give me advice or what her behaviour means
she can get easily a shamed, if i say oh you should buy that too, or when i had one pj and she took mine while her whole closet was full of it i asked her why did you take mine, she got really mad and ignored me the whole night while she had fun with my other nieces i felt really left out .... because i just asked.
thank you, i know its a long story i hope someone can help