My brother's thoughts for me

Dec 2021
4
2
USA
CW: Sex and incest

I have been troubled by something lately and it's been hard to get a serious or mature answer for. It's hard to find any answers by someone just not treating it like some fetish. It is not. It's been disturbing me for awhile and I am too ashamed to talk to my brother directly.
I am a gay female and have a straight brother 2 years my junior. We are close friends but had many rough patches over the years. A guy I know has said that his guy friends often talked about their hot older sisters, like in a bragging way, I guess. I thought he was joking, but he swears by it. He said it was possible, if not likely, that my brother had at some point masturbated while thinking about me! :oops: He went on to say that boys in early teens have a hard time separating thoughts and feelings. Like their brain will see their sister but their body will just see a pretty girl. This did make some sense to me but also disturbed me. Should I ask him about it? We are pretty open with each other but I feel that's way past the acceptable limit!
I know this is a kind of gross topic but I wanted to hear a psychological perspective on it. Please don't think bad of me. It's been troubling me for quite awhile!
 
Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
Forget about it! Why would this person say these things to you? He has no idea what your brother thinks about you. There is no research to back up anything this person told you. We know of Oedipus or Electra complexes, but these are usually resolved very early in life (as in childhood). Incestual relationships between siblings are very rare, and most are repulsed by the idea of even kissing a sibling, much less fantasizing about anything else. I do not know what this person's pay off in telling you these things is, but he is wrong on so many levels. Forget these words, do not ever mention them to your brother, you may gross him out for years to come, then he wonders if you fantasize about him, and so on...
Let it go! (yuck!)
Good luck,
Ivery
 
Dec 2021
4
2
USA
I'm sorry to bring it up, it's just been troubling me for awhile and I have no outlets to share my thoughts with. I don't know a lot about psychology, much less the psychology of boys but it didn't seem that far fetched to think that that could happen. If anything, the Oedipus/Electra complexes sound even weirder to me, but those are real. So I just didn't know. Again, sorry for bringing it up.
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
CW: Sex and incest

I have been troubled by something lately and it's been hard to get a serious or mature answer for. It's hard to find any answers by someone just not treating it like some fetish. It is not. It's been disturbing me for awhile and I am too ashamed to talk to my brother directly.
I am a gay female and have a straight brother 2 years my junior. We are close friends but had many rough patches over the years. A guy I know has said that his guy friends often talked about their hot older sisters, like in a bragging way, I guess. I thought he was joking, but he swears by it. He said it was possible, if not likely, that my brother had at some point masturbated while thinking about me! :oops: He went on to say that boys in early teens have a hard time separating thoughts and feelings. Like their brain will see their sister but their body will just see a pretty girl. This did make some sense to me but also disturbed me. Should I ask him about it? We are pretty open with each other but I feel that's way past the acceptable limit!
I know this is a kind of gross topic but I wanted to hear a psychological perspective on it. Please don't think bad of me. It's been troubling me for quite awhile!
I think letting your mom know is the best thing to do.

Nevertheless he is probably just saying that to say that, I'd worry more if it were an adult saying that.
But if you tell your mom that's better.

Soon he'll not even want you in his life, most male siblings are like that, they end up with someone not good and they begin hating on their families, because that person hates their families and has no respect for people's families and friends. I'd have to say around my siblings I am supposed not to talk with them, now too, whereas in the past they always needed something from me and you are gorgeous and all that, all that changes once they meet someone "strange", as that's not normal behaviour, some of their partners might even defame you and cause you trouble, it's so exhausting. Just ignore it and move on. Those same people make me ashamed, and as you mentioned you are gay, but honestly, I used to think I was straight and I was so nice to both women and men, and I really don't get it, that because I am nice to both men and women. I don't even look like my siblings anymore, whereas I used to and I am in the middle and the only one with white hair and who had health issues in the past, because they were not treated like I were. Now is better, but it's no use anymore.
 
Last edited:
Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
No reason to apologize, and I hope I did not make you feel like I was talking down to you. I just wanted you to know that the probabilities of what your brother feels for you as described by a guy you know are very very slim. Unless you have any evidence to the contrary, forget that some guy you know even put these thoughts into your head. If he had told you your brother was a mass murderer would you let those thoughts rattle around in your head? I doubt you would give it a second thought. I have never had any of my friends confide to me that they had feelings for their sister. So the odds are against this guy. This forum exists as a safe place to ask questions like yours. Never apologize for having the question, and always look at the answers you receive here with a critical eye...
Good luck to you and your brother,
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
Him not wanting me in his life is my biggest fear. I don't want to lose my best friend!
Me too, it is life, life happens and siblings forget about us to some extent, it is going to be a lot of effort, and you'll notice you will be making more effort than the sibling. My sibling cut me off when he first met his girlfriend now wife, and it was in one of the most difficult times for me, but I did hear back from him later, I was very unconditional, still am unconditional, as can't help it, but more realistic about situations. It's not true that sibling love is unconditional either, I think female to male sibling love is unconditional, but males are less close to the family than females, but it's just nature perhaps, idk. In fact I have seen is normal for the male, because I saw psychopathic males being too close to their families. In the female perhaps the other way around holds true. It's a strange gender role, but it's real, normal females are close to the families, and normal males are distant towards the families. The opposite is not normal behaviour, but I cannot still explain this, to me it was just a stereotype, but it's really true.

I am sure there is some kind of existential or anthropological reason behind it. nd already .
 
Last edited:
Jun 2020
62
38
Greece
I'm sorry to bring it up, it's just been troubling me for awhile and I have no outlets to share my thoughts with. I don't know a lot about psychology, much less the psychology of boys but it didn't seem that far fetched to think that that could happen. If anything, the Oedipus/Electra complexes sound even weirder to me, but those are real. So I just didn't know. Again, sorry for bringing it up.
I think it's good you brought it up to someone (who is not your brother). You sought clarity on something that's been bothering you.