I wonder if you can help me [23M] in this situation in regards to my parents

Jan 2022
2
2
Argentina
So, I'll try to be as short as I can. First things first, I still live with my parents... (ToT)

I've had kinda no social relationships so far. I had a group of friends during highschool, we rarely hanged out together and when we did, I usually was put off by what my parents could say. Time went on and I ended up alone, but not like, suffering for that. I simply preffered to be with myself let's say.

At college I met more people and ended up in a group. We never meet outside of the university, though and now remote classes and the fact that universities are closed have made everything harder, also because "my closest friend" lives kinda far and only moved here to study.

The point is that now I've met a guy through an app and I would like to meet up with him soon. But there's another "issue": I've recently found out I'm bi. I've never left the house to see other people from outside of the family, and that would mean a thousand of annoying questions. It seems I can't simply say, "I won't come to have dinner" or something like that.

To clear up a couple of things: everything seems to be in my mind. My parents aren't monsters, they are actually quite open minded. It's myself who makes up things in my mind and the main "monster" I've created (probably, not out of thin air, something must have to do with my parent's behaviour) has to do with them judging me and my actions. That's the main issue. And it gets to simpler things too, like whether I get a tatoo done or not, what would they think?, is that ok? Quesions like that arise...
 
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Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
I agree it is difficult living in your parent's home, under their roof, and under their rules. Tatoos, socializations, sexual situations, all have to take place under the scrutiny of your parents. Unless there is a compelling issue I would recommend not making an announcement at this time, you may change your mind after creating a scene. Get you life together, establish your identity, give it some time, explore who you are, find your own place, then when you are ready you can get your tatoo and make your announcements. You still have plenty of time ahead of you for all those things...
Best of luck to you,
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
So, I'll try to be as short as I can. First things first, I still live with my parents... (ToT)

I've had kinda no social relationships so far. I had a group of friends during highschool, we rarely hanged out together and when we did, I usually was put off by what my parents could say. Time went on and I ended up alone, but not like, suffering for that. I simply preffered to be with myself let's say.

At college I met more people and ended up in a group. We never meet outside of the university, though and now remote classes and the fact that universities are closed have made everything harder, also because "my closest friend" lives kinda far and only moved here to study.

The point is that now I've met a guy through an app and I would like to meet up with him soon. But there's another "issue": I've recently found out I'm bi. I've never left the house to see other people from outside of the family, and that would mean a thousand of annoying questions. It seems I can't simply say, "I won't come to have dinner" or something like that.

To clear up a couple of things: everything seems to be in my mind. My parents aren't monsters, they are actually quite open minded. It's myself who makes up things in my mind and the main "monster" I've created (probably, not out of thin air, something must have to do with my parent's behaviour) has to do with them judging me and my actions. That's the main issue. And it gets to simpler things too, like whether I get a tatoo done or not, what would they think?, is that ok? Quesions like that arise...
Idk, in a way it is ok to learn about psychopaths and good people through socialising but at the same time, you are not missing out on anything, if I were you I'd just have a read about what these are so you can at least recognise them, but generally I'd say bad people are unreliable.